


Forever will Never be Enough

by Atlas98



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Afterlife, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death, F/F, Fluff, Forever Endgame I don't care what the show says, I Will Go Down With This Ship, It's pride month and we deserve a sanvers wedding dammit, Not a surprise that canon is still not my friend, Sanvers - Freeform, Wedding, they're so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-05-17 06:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 60,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14827142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atlas98/pseuds/Atlas98
Summary: Its pride month and I wanted a wedding, so that's what I'm doing.Basically just really fluffy getting ready for the ceremony stuff and overall cuteness. Plus a time jump just to prove how endgame they are, also I like finding an excuse to write romantic and cute stuff so... yeah :)No breakup angst here, I want a break out of the reality of what happened, so this is just pure feels and lots and lots of love.* So this got longer and more involved after June, it's now a series of their anniversaries. But theyre mostly individual so each chapter can be read like a one shot. **Now more of a (possible) life story and as the tags say, after that.*





	1. The Wedding

Maggie can’t believe she’s here right now. Sure she knows the day has been coming, it’s overdue actually, thanks to the worldkillers. And they only decided a few hours ago that they'd waited long enough. So it’s here.

And yeah, Maggie is excited and she’s more than happy. But a little stress is seeping in, because her suit jacket is around here somewhere and she can’t find anything amongst the piles of stuff lying around the makeshift room.

Technically, Maggie supposes its a tent of sorts, there’s not much else you can set up temporarily on an airstrip as dressing rooms. Trust her and Alex to make things a little complicated. But its where they always planned to do this, so tent or no, Maggie doesn’t really mind.

There's a few string lights from Kara’s party supplies lighting the space, hanging precariously from the support poles. But the lack of actual light, an issue that had not previously been handled because they didn’t think this would be happening at night, isn't helping with Maggie’s jacket search.

Thankfully a familiar voice offers her a solution.

“Hey,” James calls from outside. “Okay if I come in?”

Maggie sighs in relief. “Yeah, I need your help actually.”

James has to duck a little to get under the low entrance, the white canvas still bumping him on the head a little. His suit matches Maggie’s, save the tie which is black. Maggie's is blue, a little because she wanted to be different, but mostly because it’s Alex’s favourite colour.

James laughs at Maggie’s frantic searching and stops the detectives pacing with a hand on her shoulder.

“What are you looking for?” He asks gently.

“My jacket.” Maggie replies with a groan. “I just had it I swear, I’m losing my bearings a little.”

James gives her a reassuring look, pointing over her shoulder to the portable dresser. And there hanging on the corner of the mirror, is Maggie’s jacket.

She scurries over and grabs it, half afraid that it’ll get up and disappear on her again if she doesn’t hold onto it.

“Want some help?” James asks.

Maggie nods. “Please.”

She gives him a warm smile, handing over the offending fabric and turning around so he can help it onto her back. Letting it settle on her shoulders, Maggie pulls the front down and buttons it closed, checking her tie is straight in the mirror.

“Okay, turn around.” James says excitedly.

“Why?” Maggie asks, even as she does as she’s told.

And she's embarrassed by the camera James is holding up with a wide smile.

“Oh no no no.” She says, lifting a hand up in front of her face. “No way, you're filming me.”

“It's just footage to test, I promise. Although Technically, you did pay me to film the whole ceremony.” James retorts, his camera following Maggie’s movements around the tent as she gets herself together.

“Yeah, key word being technically. You wouldn’t take cash. And I don’t think agreeing to go with you to the gym for a month counts.” Maggie retorts.

“I need a spotter!” James shoots back playfully.

Maggie just rolls her eyes. But her chest swells at the way this all makes her feel like she’s a part of something. Part of a family.

“But seriously, how are you doing?” He asks. “Are you nervous?”

Maggie looks at him. And something in what James just said, makes her smile. She doesn't even care about the camera that still focuses on her, figuring no one would see this part anyway, it’s just test footage.

“No. I'm not nervous.” She confides quietly, looking down and fiddling with the edges of her jacket.

“Really?” James asks, holding the camera level with his shoulder so he can still see Maggie. “Isn’t everyone meant to be nervous before they get married?”

Maggie just shrugs. “Maybe. I don’t feel it though.” She says. “I don't know why anyone would.”

James gives her a questioning look and Maggie runs her hands through her hair, knowing she’s not getting out of this discussion until she opens up. Which while still new to her, is starting to feel a little more natural, so Maggie goes for it.

“I mean... It’s Alex.” She reasons, expecting that to make complete sense. Because in her heart it does. It makes all the sense in the world not to be nervous, especially when Maggie knows exactly who’s waiting for her out there. Someone who always has her back, who understands her even when Maggie is confused herself and someone who knows she isn’t perfect, but still looks at her like she is.

And with Alex, Maggie isn’t afraid to try her best to give Alex all that too. She isn’t scared of the things she feels for the amazing girl she’s marrying tonight.

So when she looks back at James, she isn’t scared to explain it to him.

“She’s special.” Maggie says with a smile. “She makes me feel safe, that she cares about me as much as I care about her and that nothing is ever going to change that.” She reasons. “So I don’t feel nervous. I feel like I always do when I’m about to see her.” Maggie explains “I'm just... I'm coming home.”

It’s the only way she can think to describe it, to put words to the way her heart feels. But still, if Maggie is being honest, even that isn’t really enough, she can never find the right words, the right language to describe it all. But she's settled on just being lucky enough to feel it.

And James is crying a little, which only makes Maggie tear up, which isn’t acceptable right now. Her makeup doesn’t have time to be redone and she can't leave Alex waiting.

“No, none of that.” She says, wiping at her eyes and then at James’ cheeks. “We gotta get going soon.”

James smiles, pulling her in for a hug. “Okay. I'll see you out there.”

Maggie nods, squeezing his free hand as he pulls away and heads for the exit.

He glances back over his shoulder, camera pointing back to Maggie again. “And you look beautiful by the way.” He offers with a grin.

Maggie just laughs and shuffles him out to take his place.

And so that leaves Maggie pacing calmly around her tent, waiting for her cue music to walk out.  
They didn’t really get to practice much and being that they decided to have this wedding kind of last minute, Maggie’s grateful they kept it all fairly simple. Although she supposes with their lives, trying to plan a full wedding and actually keeping a date free for it was never really in the cards.

But still, they're getting married where they first met, with all of their friend's and Maggie's soon to be family. And it's Alex. So it's perfect.

The thought brings a smile to Maggie’s face and she can’t stop gushing internally like an idiot, rambling on in her head about how lucky she feels.

So she isn’t expecting a blonde head to pop inside and interrupt her internal rambles with some external ones.

“Hey Maggie,” Kara starts with a smile, pushing her glasses up nervously as she steps inside. “So I was with Alex and Jonn and they’re all good to go and the music and all that is ready, everyone’s sitting down and everything, you look so nice, Alex is going to love your tie and it’s all so cute out there it’s going to be amaz-"

“Kara.” Maggie cuts her off. Kara always does this when she wants to asks something but is a little scared of the answer. So Maggie tries to get a response gently. “Slow down a little okay. What are you trying to say?”

Kara shuffles on her feet, the girl of steel apparently feeling a little awkward in her light blue dress.

“Well you guys are walking down both ends and meeting in the middle.” Kara explains.

“Yeah?” Maggie queries. That’s supposed to be the plan at least.

“I just thought, cause you know Jonn is walking Alex down and I um...” Kara starts, looking down at the floor before squaring her shoulders a little and looking back up at Maggie with a momentary surge of confidence. “I was wondering if you would want, or maybe I could, I mean can I, if you want...” She takes a deep breath and Maggie smiles encouragingly so Kara will continue. “Can I walk you down the aisle?”

Maggie is a little stunned, she can feel her eyes widen out of habit and she's quick to try and get a normal expression back on her face. But she doesn't know what to say and she’s not sure anyone could hear anything anyway over how loud her heart is beating in her chest. She wants to cry and laugh with the elation she feels, maybe both. Because this... well she doesn't know how to feel anything other than overwhelmed, in the best possible way. It makes her heart ache to have this kind of love after spending so long being cold and guarded.

The silence freaks Kara out a little though and she spirals into another ramble before Maggie can stop it.

“It’s just that you're basically my sister too and I know its not really traditional or whatever, but if you don’t want to that’s totally cool I don’t min-" Kara babbles out before Maggie cuts her off again.

“Kara.” Maggie waits until she’s sure Kara won’t combust from holding words in before she continues. “I would love that. Thank you.” She says, pulling the young hero into a hug, happy with the way Kara's powers make it hurt just a little, even though Maggie knows she’s trying hard to be gentle.

And the knowledge that she has a lifetime of moments like these to come, only makes Maggie hold onto Kara even tighter.

But soon a soft tune starts to play outside, convincing the two to part from each other with gentle laughs.

Kara smiles wide. “You ready?” She asks, extending her elbow towards Maggie.

And taking the young hero’s arm, Maggie smiles back, her heart racing in her chest in excitement as she nods. "I think I've been ready since the first time I saw her here.” Maggie whispers as Kara guides her to the exit.

“Really?” Kara asks with a curious smile.

“Yeah.” Maggie confirms, looking to...well her sister as it apparently turns out, happy with the way Kara gives her a little side hug in return. 

And it’s time. Finally, after everything, all the moments that once felt too heavy for Maggie to bear seem to be worth it. And even if she could go back in time, knowing all she did now, Maggie knows she would go through it all again if it meant she had a chance to be with Alex.

And maybe that’s the only way to explain it. Not through words that represent something that can be seen or held, but by something as untouchable and unchangeable as time itself. Alex will always be that, always be everything there is amongst it all. The universe, parallels of it, past and future are nothing compared to her.

So as Maggie walks out, with Kara steadying her desire to just run to Alex when she sees her on the other side of the aisle, her dress almost as beautiful as the girl wearing it, Maggie knows this is it.

And with all the lights strung across chairs and the people who stand here on the pavement, planes parked around them without much planning, there’s nothing about this moment Maggie would ever wish to change. Because she can’t see anything besides the smile on Alex’s face and feel the way her heart leaps towards the agent in response.

So when Jonn pats her on the shoulder and gives her Alex's hand, Maggie can’t help but lean in to whisper in Alex’s ear as they finally meet in the middle of it all.

It’s something everyone has heard, a phrase said more often than felt. But Maggie knows now what it means, that it’s something she could never really understand. And it’s not something that she can ever explain or find reason in, it simply is.  
Alex is what it will always mean.

So even though all she says are words, Maggie knows it’s all a mere person like herself could ever do to express things greater than themselves. It’s all she could ever say, all she could ever spend the rest of her days proving to the girl in front of her right now.  
That Alex is everything to Maggie.

“I love you.” Maggie whispers.

Alex pulls back a little, her gentle smile not failing to take Maggie's breath away as she brings her hands up to the detectives face, her thumbs tracing Maggie's cheekbones.

"I love you too." Alex says softly.

And neither can really resist leaning in, both smiling into the kiss as everyone laughs fondly at the moment. 

But it barely registers to Maggie as she wraps her arms around Alex's waist to keep her close, even when their lips break apart, happy to just hold Alex here as Lena clears her throat and begins talking to everyone.

Most of it goes over maggies head again, but she follows all her cues despite being completely focused on Alex, never really not holding onto her in one way or another. Whether it's holding her hand as Lena officiates, or just holding her like they're slow dancing as Kara makes her speech.

But when it comes time to the vows, Maggie consciously takes a step back, letting Alex's hands go so she can move away a little. Just so that she can take it all in, look around at everyone and then back to Alex.

And her heart is on fire like a thousand suns at the way Alex is looking at her. Because Maggie has never felt so at peace than she does at this very moment. Which makes it easy for her to say how she feels for this amazing girl.  

"I never thought I would be here with you all." Maggie starts, motioning around to everyone. "And I don't really know how to say how much it means to me, so thank you."

Alex gives her a small smile at that and Maggie steps forward again, taking Alex's hands in her own and bringing them to her chest to rest over her heart, which she's pretty sure Alex can feel beating crazily beneath the surface.

"Alex." Maggie says gently. "You are the most amazing, creative, smart, funny, caring and badass person I know." She confesses, earning a small laugh from Alex and their friends. "And I can't ever picture my life without you. The worst days are always the best so long as I get to come home to you at the end. And I know there's gonna be times where it gets tough, but there's no one I'd  rather have fighting beside me than you, because we always make a great team." Maggie reasons.

She takes a moment to wipe at her eyes, which have started tearing up despite her bests efforts, smiling at Alex bashfully when the agent kisses her cheek gently. 

"You're so beautiful, inside and out.” Maggie urges, smiling at the way Alex blushes a little at the remark. “You always see the best in me. And I have no idea what I could ever have done to deserve you. But I promise, I will spend the rest of my life finding any way I can, to make sure you know how much you mean to me.” She swears. “And given the chance, if we could go back in time, or meet in another life... all I ever want is to do it all again. I would do everything in my life over and over, because it led me here to you. It brought me home.” Maggie reasons softly between them, vaguely hearing the guests awwing in the background as she continues, her eyes finding Alex’s and recognizing all the emotion behind them.

“I can't wait for the rest of my life, our life, together. You have all of me, now and always. I love you, Alex Danvers.” Maggie promises.

Alex smiles softly, her forehead falling to Maggie's as she takes a shaky breath. It takes her a little while to be able to pull back enough to talk, her hands pulling against Maggie’s own so she can bring them to her chest, like Maggie did with Alex's originally.

“I'm so happy that my family is here today.” Alex starts, turning briefly to everyone, looking finally at Kara to give her a bright smile before finding Maggie’s eyes with her own.

And it’s still hard for Maggie to breathe when Alex looks at her like this. But she can't think of any better way to have her breath taken away than by this amazing girl.  
That is until Alex speaks again.

“Because my family is everything to me. So I can't think of any people better, to promise to love you the same way they love me Maggie. This is our family.” Alex reasons. “And I know you might not ever truly understand why, but just know that you deserve all the happiness in the world. And I'm going to keep showing you that every day.” She says softly, letting go of Maggie’s hand to wipe at a stray tear that escapes down the detectives cheek.  
“I spent a long time thinking I would never have this too.” Alex confesses. “But I found you. I found such an incredibly smart, thoughtful and gentle girl when I met you. And you're beautiful inside and out too.” Alex says, smiling at Maggie’s small laugh at the borrowed sentiment as she continues. “Nothing compares to you, to what being with you let’s me feel. So wherever our lives take us, wherever we end up, it won't matter. Because I know you'll be there.” Alex swears, squeezing Maggie's hands tightly as she takes a moment to look at the detective, awe filling her gaze in a way that makes Maggie’s heart flutter.

“I know with you, is exactly where I’m supposed to be. So you have all of me too, now and always. I love you, Maggie Sawyer.” Alex promises.

And they’re both smiling, even with the tears that fall down their cheeks at the moment. But it’s everything for Maggie to be able to look around and feel like she’s also exactly where she’s meant to be. And that's just how she always feels when she’s with Alex.

So when Lena gives them both a bright smile, motioning at Winn that it’s time for the rings, Maggie leans into the tight hug the tech nerd pulls her and Alex into.

“You guys are still my favourite.” He whispers, pulling away to wipe at his teary face.

And he holds out a small metal box, ‘A&M’ engraved onto the lid as Lena looks to Maggie.

“Do you, Maggie Sawyer, take Alex Danvers to be your lawfully wedded wife?” She asks.

And Maggie has to let go of Alex’s hands momentarily to take on of the gold rings from Winn, holding it steady over Alex’s finger as she answers.

“I do.” Maggie says, letting the ring settle against Alex’s skin, elated at the way it makes the agent smile.

“And do you, Alex Danvers, take Maggie Sawyer to be your lawfully wedded wife?” Lena asks, looking to Alex.

Mouthing a thank you to Winn, Alex takes the second ring from the box and takes Maggie’s hand.

“I do.” She says with a smile, pushing the gold band onto Maggie’s finger.

And the way it feels to have the weight of the metal against her skin, makes Maggie want to run for miles screaming that she’s finally found everything she’s been looking for. Because Alex stands right here in front of her, her hands firmly between Maggie’s own as they stare at each other with nothing but love in their eyes.

“Then by the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you wife and wife.” Lena declares excitedly. “You can both kiss the bride.”

It's all cheers and laughing when Maggie and Alex close the small distance between them, their lips meeting with smiles as they finally get to make their marriage official.

And when they pull apart, arms still draped comfortably around each other, Maggie feels content in the fact that this is only the beginning. That there’s so many firsts still left for them to do together. And after those, seconds and thirds and fourths, over and over again. Because with Alex, no matter what it is, every time always feels like the first.

Even when Maggie leans in close to Alex and says it again.

“I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Their wedding would have been the cutest!! I'm so bitter about it, like damn.  
> I put Maggie in a suit cause Flo said she thought Alex would want a dress and Maggie a tux, just in case anyone was wondering why it wasn't different. And Lena just seems like she'd randomly be ordained so why not :D  
> Jumping to the future in the next chapter which will be up around the 16th, there's gonna be wedding anniversary cuteness guys!!  
> Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter and that the writing is all good. :)


	2. 5th Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't have time to proofread this so sorry for any mistakes, hope you enjoy the feels :)

5 years later.

  
“Well that was fun.” Alex says with a smile, in reference to the party they just had for their wedding anniversary.

Maggie nods and grins back, shaking her head at how cute Alex is when she smiles.  
She turns to try and sort out the living room, which is a mess of blankets and plates, not even now regretting all the people who caused it, the sight instead making Maggie's chest ache with happiness as she’s reminded of how big their family is.

But as she looks back to Alex to share the thought, a piece of popcorn hits her square on the nose, Alex leaning back as she laughs at the shocked expression Maggie can feel on her face.

The now sergeant, shoots her wife a playful glare, gathering a handful of confetti from the living room floor, which she was initially cleaning up, but now has other plans for instead.

Maggie edges around the couch, hands gripped closed around the colourful paper as Alex backs away behind the dinner table with her hands up, smiling in challenge.

“Careful Mags, you know this isn’t a fight you’ll win.” She teases.

“Maybe.” Maggie retorts. “But as long as this gets in your hair I'll feel like it’s even.” She jokes.

Alex shakes her head, eyeing the bowl of popcorn sitting on the table.

And sharing a look with each other, they both leap into action, Alex making a grab for the bowl as Maggie lunges to get close enough to throw the confetti at her wife.

The result is a total mess and they both come away with pieces of their chosen weapons sticking to their clothes and hair until they pry it all off.

But they’re laughing and Alex is tugging Maggie over to the couch, throwing an arm over her shoulders and mumbling that they’ll clean up in the morning.

And Maggie feels totally at peace here, the feeling of Alex breathing beside her making her feel like she’s floating on a cloud.

There’s a few presents on the coffee table and Maggie leans forward to grab the one from James, curious as to why he said earlier to wait to open it until they were alone.

“You wanna open it.” She offers the blue striped package to Alex.

“Sure.” Alex says, leaning in to kiss Maggie’s forehead as she takes the gift.

She makes quick work of the paper and inside is a DVD. The plain white cover just has ‘A & M Test.’ written across it in James handwriting.  
They both eye it curiously.

“Should we watch it?” Alex questions, looking to Maggie.

“Yeah why not. Give it here I’ll put it in.” Maggie says, hopping up off the couch and quickly pacing over to the tv. She slides the disk into the side, happy when she finally sits back down next to Alex and cuddles into her shoulder.

It takes a few seconds, but soon the video starts to play, the image bouncing around a little until it focuses.

“Okay, turn around.” James’ voice crackles over the speakers. The image zooming in a little to find Maggie as she faces the camera.

“Oh no no no. No way you're filming me.” Maggie says, her hand coming up in front of the lens.

Alex chuckles at that and Maggie nudges her playfully, happy with the kiss Alex places on her temple in response.

Maggie vaguely remembers this, the memory coming back the more they watch, but she finds herself looking at Alex more than the screen. The way her hair, shorter now than it was five years ago, falls across her face a little. How her eyes stay focused on the screen as James’ and Maggie’s voices talk through the speakers.  
She’s even more beautiful than Maggie can remember, seems to be so every day that goes by.

A few years ago, Maggie knows she would have been embarrassed for Alex to be watching this. But now, it’s just another moment amongst many that Maggie is happy to be able to share with her wife. Especially because telling Alex how much she means to her is one of Maggie’s favourite things to do. Whether it’s saying those words specifically, or randomly taking her on dates, sometimes surprising her with things only she could find joy in, like a limited edition science book. Maggie loves doing it all, because she loves this girl.

So when she hears James ask on the video why she isn’t nervous. Maggie grabs Alex’s hand and squeezes tightly as her past self answers.

“It’s Alex. She’s special.” Maggie’s voice says. “She makes me feel safe, that she cares about me as much as I care about her and that nothing is ever going to change that. So I don’t feel nervous. I feel like I always do when I’m about to see her. I'm just... I'm coming home.”

And Alex just turns to her at that, pausing the video and putting the remote down before grabbing Maggie’s hands between her own.

Her eyes are watering a little even as she smiles softly at Maggie. And she’s trying to say something, but it’s not really getting out past her trying to keep together.

Maggie is about to tell her that It’s fine, that she doesn’t have to say anything, but Alex pulls her in, her forehead finding Maggie’s own.

Alex tilts her head slightly in question and Maggie doesn’t hesitate to close the small gap between them, kissing Alex softly as the agent runs her fingers through Maggie’s hair.

The familiar gesture makes Maggie smile and Alex pulls away just to kiss at the dimples that form on her cheeks.

“I love you.” Maggie whispers, letting her forehead fall against Alex’s own again, feeling content with how close they get to be.

Alex smiles at her, crying now. And Maggie is a little startled when the agent suddenly leans back and grabs the remote again, pointing it to the screen and fast forwarding a minute or so.

She let’s it play and grabs gold of Maggie's hands as they watch the video weave between people on the airstrip as James makes his way down the aisle to Alex’s tent.

“Hey I'm coming in.” He says.

“Okay.” Alex's voice calls as Kara ducks out past the camera, giving it a small wave and a smile which makes Alex and Maggie both chuckle.

“How’s it going in here?" James asks Alex,who is smoothing out her dress.

“Good, I lost my shoes for a second but I found them.” She replies.

Maggie laughs softly at that. Of course they both lost track of things on their wedding night.

“You're filming already?” Alex asks James.

“Gosh, you two with the filming.” He says playfully. “Yes I am, it’s test footage.”

Maggie smiles at the way Alex gives the camera a questioning look, running her thumb over the agents palm in her hand at the moment in response.

“Fine, but don’t let Kara get that thing or we're all gonna be in interviews all night.” Alex jokes, motioning towards the camera.

James laughs and the image wobbles along with it until he focuses it back on Alex.

“So are you nervous?” He asks.

And Maggie watches the screen intently as Alex adopts a contemplative stance, her hands finding the waist of her dress as she thinks for a moment.

“No. I’m not nervous.” She says quietly, almost inaudible over the speakers. “I mostly feel really calm and safe when it comes to Maggie. And I know she’s who's waiting out there.” Alex reasons. “I don’t have any reason to be nervous about being where I’m supposed to be.”

It’s quiet for a moment, until James speaks up again.

“You two are meant to be.” He says sincerely.

And Maggie feels Alex’s hand on her cheek, urging her to look at the agent as she speaks over her own voice coming from the speakers, repeating it at the same time as her past self.

“I know.” Alex whispers to Maggie.

The tears are falling freely from both of their eyes now, neither really minding as they try to wipe at each other’s cheeks without much success.

Eventually they give up on it, leaning back into the couch as their wedding ceremony plays gently on the tv as background noise as they hold one another close.

And Maggie can’t resist pulling Alex in for a kiss as she hears them both say I do. But they're still crying a little, so it’s kind of messy, Alex not seeming to mind as she pulls Maggie even closer, until she ends up just lying one top of the agent so they can be as close as possible.

It’s slow and calm, neither of them really up for anything much tonight, but content in the feeling of their hearts beating next to each other as they kiss lazily.

Eventually Alex pulls back a little, looking like she's about to fall asleep any second. Maggie smiles at the sight, shuffling down so she can rest her head against Alex’s shoulder and sighing when she feels a hand running through her hair.

And soon Maggie closes her eyes, unable to hold them open against the warmth and happiness in her chest. But Alex brings a finger to Maggie’s chin, tilting the sergeants face up to look at her, affection and love filling Alex's eyes in a way that makes Maggie feel light headed.

“I love you too.” Alex whispers.

And it’s not the first time, its definitely not the last. But every time feels like the world to Maggie and she leans into the soft kiss Alex places on her head.

“Forever?” Maggie asks with a smile.

Alex shakes her head softly, hand resuming it’s place running through Maggie’s hair as she answers.

“No, not forever.” She whispers, smiling gently so Maggie doesn’t get worried before she continues. “Forever will never be enough time with you. I don’t know anything longer, but I also don't know everything. It's not right for me to assume that forever is the longest.” Alex reasons. “So whatever is, that’s what I want. I want you.”

Maggie can't do much else besides huddle into Alex, grateful for the arms that wrap around her as she takes in what she’s hearing. Her heart is beating like it’s going to give out any second, but Maggie isn’t worried at all. Because Alex is here and she always will be. And there's no doubt in Maggie's mind that they’ll always stay this way.

No matter what anyone says or does, up against anything the universe could throw their way, their love is untouchable. Even when the days seem insurmountable, or when the lights go dark. Through it all, they’ll be together.

So Maggie feels no fear when she whispers back to Alex.

“I want you too.”

 

 

_And sometimes, the things we can't explain turn out to be the things we don't really have to. Because it isn't always about asking why or how, it's about accepting that some things just are. Amongst everything, no one can know what it all means. But we know it's greater than ourselves, even though a small part lives within us and let's us feel what words are unable to describe._

_Love is a word that tries to explain, but it's the feeling that drives us to say it that means everything._  
_And It’s too important to be something limited to only a few, it's for everyone, all equal when it comes to things we ultimately can't control. We're all just human, surrounded by things we can't understand. But at the end of the day, we have each other, which is really what it's all about._

_So happy pride month, and go kiss the people you wanna kiss!!!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride everyone!! Hope you liked this cuteness :)


	3. 15th Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter that was requested :D  
> Sorry it took a while to write, but it's kinda long so that makes up for it a little.  
> Proof read super quickly so sorry for any mistakes...  
> Hope you like it :)

  _15 year wedding anniversary._

 

“And you're sure about this?” Kara questions.

And Alex can see the slight disbelieving look her sister is trying to hide. But this time Alex is definitely sure.

“Yeah. I promise no more changes.” Alex swears with a smile.

“Eight. Exactly eight pm.” Kara urges. “You know Lena will make sure it happens at that time, not a minute leeway.” The hero confirms with a serious tone. “She’s very precise.”

“Yes Kara, I know.” Alex says, rolling her eyes playfully at her sister.

Trust Lena and Kara to be both the most opposite yet compatible people to ever get together. But Alex doesn’t mind, seeing as since the pair have started dating Kara’s tardiness as well as Alex’s grocery bills have both improved.

Kara eyes Alex up and down for a moment before nodding. “Okay then.”

And the young hero’s tough planner facade breaks as she pulls Alex into a tight hug.

“I'm so excited, this is going to be so cute!” Kara squeals.

Alex breaks into a laugh, Kara’s arms hurting her ribs a little, but she doesn’t mind. She’s so excited too, the anticipation of seeing Maggie later tonight for their anniversary making her heart float around in her chest.  
Fifteen years and still, Alex can't wait to see the smile on Maggie’s face, the way her eyes will hopefully light up.

All this time and Alex still feels like it’s all a dream, one she hopes she’ll never wake up from.

  
........

  
Maggie can’t concentrate. Her detectives haven't got any major cases running, her paperwork is unusually up to date, there’s practically nothing going on.

And yet, concentrating on anything that isn’t brown eyes or a particular smile seems impossible for Maggie right now.

Her and Alex had both woken up a little earlier this morning, just to spend some time together before heading to work. But like usual, all the time in the world isn't really enough, especially today.

So Maggie swivels in her chair, thinking about the flowers she's going to get on her way home, the food she wants to cook with Alex for everyone coming over (hopefully without setting off the fire alarm).

And every year, Maggie can’t wait to be surrounded by her family. To have everyone in one place for these moments with Alex.  
Maggie is sure that usually couples want to be alone for these sorts of things, but Alex not surprisingly had caught on pretty quickly that Maggie really loves having family to celebrate with. And family means everything to Alex too, so having everyone together is always what they try and do.

So to say Maggie is excited about the standing plans they have for everyone to come over tonight is less than understated. And the damn clock on the wall only seems to tick by slower and slower the more Maggie compares it’s dull ticking to the sound of Alex laughing this morning.

But her crisis is put on hold with a knock at the door.

“Captain Danvers?” a young cop asks, her dark ponytail flicking over her shoulder as she leans through the door.

“Hey Natalie, what’s up?” Maggie asks with a smile probably a little big to be wearing at the precinct. But everyone knows what today is, so not much notice is taken of it.

“Not much. Still pretty quiet out there.” Natalie offers “But this was sitting for you in reception, figured I’d bring it up.” The uniformed cop says with a smile, handing Maggie a small envelope.

“Thanks” Maggie responds, eyes moving over the plain package as Natalie leaves with a smile.

Maggie rummages around her desk to find her letter opener, eventually giving up and carefully pulling the envelope open, the sound of paper ripping filling her empty office.

Inside is a small card and Maggie looks it over before flipping it open. And she's giddy when she recognizes the handwriting, the harsh edges and curved lines one of many representations of Alex Maggie has ingrained in her head over the years.

 _~ Firstly, Kara's watching the city so don’t worry, I know how we both are about leaving work early._  
_And secondly, you may be captain now, but you're still the best detective, so I know you can figure this out._

 _Maggie, I love you._  
_I'm so grateful that you chose to spend your life with me._  
_So find your next clue where I asked you to._

_\- Love Al. ~_

  
“I think you'll need these.” Natalie says, drawing Maggie's attention from Alex's letter.

She tosses Maggie’s bike keys across the office, the captain catching them with a smile.

“You're in on whatever this is?” Maggie questions playfully.

Natalie just shrugs. “Only the part where I need to get you out of this office and out there to your wife, Captain.” She jokes.

And Maggie can take a hint, trusting that the city will be safe under the watch of Supergirl and the rest of the police force.

“Okay, okay. I'm going.” Maggie laughs. “Just tell Sergeant Michael’s to call me if she has any problems.”

“Will do.” Natalie agrees. “Now get out of here.”

Maggie just laughs, grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair as she heads out. “Thanks Natalie.”

But she pauses behind her desk for a moment, pulling the top drawer open and picking a small box out from it. She'd asked Lena and Winn to help her design it for Alex a while ago, knowing that she'd still have to wait a few months to give it to her tonight. And honestly, Maggie is a little nervous about what Alex will think about it. But then again it’s Alex, so Maggie doesn’t worry all that much as she puts the small black box into her jacket pocket, making for the door.

Most of the officers in the precinct all shoot Maggie a wave as she leaves, everyone happy to be having a quiet day. So nothing can stop the excitement building in Maggie's chest as she heads to the parking garage.

Her Triumph is still parked where it always has, some things never change. And although when she first moved to National City Maggie was determined to get a spot near the front of the parking lot, she's grown attached to the small space next to the columns where her bike waits dutifully.

There's memories of Alex here too. Not really good, but not bad either. Alex confronting Maggie here all those years ago was... well life changing would be the only way to describe that moment. It was the beginning of everything falling into place for Maggie, the first time she actually realised how Alex felt about her.

So the Captain finds herself smiling as she throws a leg over her Triumph and pulling her helmet on.

And as she revs the engine to life, Maggie runs through Alex's letter in her head, the words clicking together in her head. She knows just where Alex wants her to go.

Alex first asked her to spend the rest of their lives together on the balcony of the DEO. It’s where she proposed.

So Maggie rolls her bike past the cruisers and down the ramp, swiping her keycard to exit the carpark. And when the wheels hit the pavement, Maggie gears the bike up high and points it towards the centre of the city where the L-Corp and Catco buildings stand tall.

She knows the balcony Alex proposed on faces away from both structures, looking out towards the desert beyond the city limits, but she's always used the buildings as markers because the DEO tower is shorter and gets lost between them.

Traffic seems non existent, even for the middle of the day and Maggie finds herself weaving easily past cars and through intersections, finally pulling up to the government building. She puts in this weeks code for the security pad, which lets her into the underground parking and finds a spot near the steel doored elevator to park her Triumph.

Alex's bike isn’t in its usual place by the wall opposite, which while seeming a little odd, doesn't distract Maggie from tugging off her helmet and pressing enthusiastically at the elevator button.

It takes an eternity for the doors to finally open, Maggie once again jabbing at the buttons, demanding to go up to the control floor at the very top.

The ride is slow, so Maggie finds herself sliding sideways out the doors as they open in an attempt to get out faster.

But the control room is empty, not even Winn is typing at his console. It's practically empty, save for a few agents shuffling around.

So that leaves Maggie standing a little awkwardly in the middle of the room. She wonders for a moment if she got this wrong, if she didn't figure out Alex's clue correctly.

But a familiar voice calls gently from the balcony.

“Captain.” Jonn says with a smile. “You look a little lost there.”

Maggie laughs, running a hand through her hair. “Yeah um... I think I'm supposed to be here, is Alex around?”

Jonn smiles, motioning Maggie out onto the balcony with him.

“No she isn't.” He says. “But you are meant to be here, you figured out the clue, don't worry.”

Maggie sighs a little in relief, leaning into the side hug Jonn pulls her into as they look out over the city.

“So uh... what is all this then?” Maggie questions. “I mean, I love my girl, but I gave up trying to figure out her elaborate plans a while ago.” She jokes.

Jonn chuckles. “Oh I understand that. She has a mind that is more than complex. And that’s coming from someone who can read it.” He agrees playfully. “But I have to say I’m grateful I get to be a part of this plan, as well as many more in the future.”

Maggie gives him a smile. After all this time she can’t believe someone like him is actually in her life, the father figure Maggie always thought she'd lost when she was younger. Although Jonn is more a father than Maggie ever thought her dad was, from helping Maggie with her work, to being a shoulder to cry on when Alex gets hurt. Jonn has been a constant in Maggie’s life that she didn’t know she needed until she had it. So the promise of many more plans involving him in the future warms Maggie’s heart.

“I would love to have you around for the rest of my life.” Maggie says softly, grateful for the little squeeze Jonn gives her in response.

“Well good.” He says confidently. “Because I'm not going anywhere and neither are you.” Jonn assures. “This is all one big, strange and devoted family you've found yourself in. And I just want you to know that I'm proud of you. Alex too.” He says, finding Maggie's eyes with his own as the captain attempts to not cry. “But I know the struggles you've faced in life, I understand that even now it still makes things hard for you. I just want you to know that I'm here, now and always.”

Maggie let’s out a watery laugh at hearing her and Alex's wedding line, letting Jonn pull her into a tight hug.

“Thanks Jonn.” Maggie whispers, pulling back to wipe at her face once she’s got herself back together.

“I mean it.” Jonn assures with a playful glare that just makes Maggie smile.

“Okay.” She answers, squeezing one of his hands.

“Good. Now let’s clean this up a little huh?” Jonn jokes, helping dab Maggie’s cheeks with his sleeve.

Once they decide Maggie’s close enough to normal, Jonn reaches into his pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper and handing it to Maggie.

“And with this, I've done my part for the afternoon. I'll see you later.” Jonn says, giving Maggie a quick goodbye hug before heading back into the control room.

Maggie smiles after Jonn for a moment before her attention is drawn to the paper between her fingers. She unfolds it, rotating it around until she can read Alex's writing.

 _~ I bet that one was kinda easy for you to figure out right babe? Like I said, best detective ever!_  
_Proposing to you here was never planned, as you know. But that night, for all its flaws, gave me the chance to spend my life with you. So I could never dream of changing it. Plus the city from up here is almost as beautiful as you._  
_We have so many firsts right here in this building._  
_From our moment right here on this balcony, to me saying I love you._  
_So I think you can guess, you'll find what you need next, where you told me you did too. ~_

Maggie smiles at the words, fingers running over the edges of the paper as she thinks of Alex writing it. And she can’t help thinking of all the firsts Alex is talking about, because there are more than Maggie can count in this place.

With all those memories in her mind, it doesn’t take Maggie more than reading the clue to know where Alex wants her to go next. Because how could Maggie ever forget where Alex first said she loved her.

So the captain smiles, folding the paper up and putting it in her pocket for safe keeping as she heads back into the control room. Jonn is speaking with an agent by the consoles and he smiles at her as she makes for the stairs leading up to the med bay and Alex’s lab.

Maggie takes the steps two at a time, eager to see where this is all going. The concrete walls give way to glass as she reaches the top. And peering through them, Maggie can see Winn shuffling around in his cardigan, tablet in hand in the med bay. He spots her and gives an excited wave, his watch looking a little big on his wrist as it swings around.

“Hey Maggie!” The nerd says excitedly, pulling at Maggie’s sleeve once she’s close enough to give her a hug.

“Hi Winn.” Maggie says with a chuckle. “I’m guessing you're in on Alex's thing?”

Winn just beams ear to ear, pleased with the assumption. “She’s practically my sister, so of course I am.” He says proudly. “And you are too, so any way I can help make this day special is what I wanna do. You guys mean a lot to me. Plus I love having such badasses around.” He jokes, Maggie shoving him playfully on the shoulder before he continues.

“You've made Alex and everyone around you so happy since we found you. I don’t know what our family would be without you Maggie. And I don't ever wanna find out. You're always there for me, even when I’m dumb.” Winn admits playfully. “And I know you're always looking out for me, so I just want you to know that I’m looking out for you too.” He resolves.

And even though Maggie still has no idea what all of this is, hearing Winn talk like this never fails to make her chest tighten in happiness.

“Thanks Winn.” Maggie says softly, unable to resist ruffling his hair.

The tech nerd gives her a small smile, his eyes tearing up a little before he wipes at them.

“Anyways now that I’ve said my part, this is for you.” He says, passing over his tablet. “See you tonight for the usual.”

Maggie gives Winn one last hug before letting him leave, watching as he jogs down the stairs to Jonn.

It leaves Maggie alone in the med bay, the memories of all the past conversations and confessions herself and Alex have shared here replaying in her mind.

And there have been times here that Maggie feared she would lose everything, nights where she thought she would lose Alex, only to have her wife refuse to do anything but survive. But there have also been moments shared, holding each other close beneath thin sheets and whispering that they're okay even as fingers run over stitches that will become new scars. And there have been many repetitions of the words they shared here in this place, all that time ago when Maggie nearly lost Alex. Moments where ‘I love you’ was all that could be spoken between the two of them. So many memories that began right here.

So Maggie finds herself clicking the tablet on, the play button that pops up on the screen barely having time to show up before she’s hitting play.

And Maggie watches as pictures slide across the screen. It takes her a second to recognize them as pictures of her and Alex’s past Valentine’s days, various photos of them dancing and candlelit tables making Maggie smile at the memories.

The last slide comes up blank before words fade onto the screen.

_~ I have pictures for all except one. And it’s still my favourite. ~_

And Maggie has to watch the video over again, realising about halfway through that the only Valentine’s there isn’t a picture or video from is their first.

Maggie wasn’t even sure if Alex would come meet her that night. She remembers waiting anxiously, afraid that the fear of her past had ruined something amazing. But looking back, Maggie knows Alex would never hold anything against the way she handled their first Valentine’s day. Alex’s words of ‘I'm here to help you heal’ proving to be true time and time again.

So Maggie isn’t the least bit nervous as she decides Alex must want her to head over to the hall, where they danced for hours all those years ago.

Jonn and Winn both give her playful smiles as she jogs downstairs to the elevators. She waves back with a smile as the doors close and Maggie finds herself pacing the small space as it lurches down to the parking garage.

Maggie nearly trips over her own feet trying to get to her bike as fast as possible. She's pretty sure not even her full helmet is concealing the excited smile on her face.

The Triumph roars loudly as Maggie guides it back onto the street, wheels spinning on the asphalt as she weaves through cars and around corners. Her body moves on autopilot as she thinks about what Alex could be up to.

The agent still surprises Maggie constantly, her mind coming up with things that never fails to make even the worst of days beatable. So days like this, the good ones where Alex and Maggie can be together and the world is safe, feel like the closest thing to heaven Maggie can think of.

When she pulls up to the curb next to the old building, Maggie can barely contain herself, sprinting up the stone steps and hauling the door open.

But the large room is empty, chandeliers hanging silently from the ceiling as Maggie stands beneath them.

She can practically hear the music echoing off the walls, picturing Alex swaying and laughing in her red dress. And Maggie smiles to herself knowing that Alex still wears it sometimes, the image making her chest tighten.

She gets a little lost in her thoughts, a familiar voice making Maggie jump a little as it sounds behind her.

“You definitely broke the speed limit getting here.” Lena states jokingly, her dark blue dress swaying in the breeze a little. “We're perfectly on time and you still beat us.”

Maggie shakes her head as Lena and James shuffle in from outside, both wearing bright smiles at Maggie’s little scare.

Running a hand through her hair, Maggie looks to the floor. “Yeah uh...” She starts bashfully. “I guess I was excited. You guys are in on this too?”

Lena laughs, her heels clicking against the marble floor as she makes her way to Maggie, pulling the captain into a tight hug.

“Of course, this is a family event.” Lena explains with a smile.

Maggie can’t help the swell of warmth that fills her heart at that. Their family really is so big, so many different people who at first glance don’t make much sense, but together feel like a completed puzzle.

“And we know how important family is to you.” James continues on from Lena. “The three of us haven’t always been accepted for who we are, the things we can’t change about ourselves. But we found a home with each other, and with everyone who is helping make today special for you and Alex.” He reasons, a strong hand resting on Maggie’s shoulder as she tries to keep herself composed.

“Exactly. You're stuck with us, for a very long time.” Lena jokes, the CEO's tone helping to clear some of Maggie’s tears in favour of a chuckle.

“Your first time here with Alex was the moment you chose to face your past, chose to take a real chance on this family.” Lena continues. “So as strange and unusual as it may be, we could never be complete without you Maggie. And as my dear Kara loves to say ‘El Mayarah’.”

“Stronger together.” Maggie confirms, pulling the pair into a tight hug.

The three stay like that for a moment, all seeming content to be this close, to know that the rest of their family is out there waiting for them. Alex is out there.

Lena eventually pulls back, digging into her purse to pull out a brown rectangular package and handing it over.

“Thanks.” Maggie says, latching onto what must be her next clue on Alex’s plan.

“Just be careful getting to this one, no speeding.” Lena says playfully.

“Yeah, last thing we need is you crashing and not turning up on time.” James laughs, pulling Maggie into a tight hug. “Alex would be less than happy about that.”

“I promise I’ll slow down.” Maggie swears as she lets go of James, fingers already playing with the edges of the brown package in her hands.

“Okay.” He replies gently. “We'll see you later.”

“Don’t let Kara ramble.” Lena adds on with a smile. “I love her, but we have a timeframe to meet.”

Maggie laughs at that, Lena’s teasing of her girlfriend reminding Maggie of Alex and herself when they were younger.

“Okay okay.” Maggie agrees. “I’ll tell her you’ll be waiting.”

Lena gives her a smile, giving Maggie one last hug before her and James scurry out the door, both looking to their watches and pulling out cellphones.

Maggie’s attention is drawn back to the package in her hands once she loses sight of the pair. It’s taped closed lightly and Maggie tugs at the back seam until it pops open and she can slide out the object inside.

It’s a picture frame, well the back of one at least. Maggie turns it over, the wrapping paper falling absentmindedly from her hands as she stares at the picture, ‘ _Home_ ’ written across the bottom of the glass.

She remembers this night. Her and Alex had only been dating a few weeks when it was taken. Maggie’s first ever game night.

She spots Kara and Lena standing together shyly in the background of the photo, Winn and Jonn too. James is present only by the slight blurring at the bottom right corner where his finger is accidentally covering the lense, a mistake Maggie is glad wasn’t cropped out. And there, sitting on the couch right in the middle, is Alex and Maggie. A blanket is thrown carelessly across their laps, Alex’s arm comfortably settled on Maggie’s shoulders as her fingers play with the then detectives hair.

And Maggie has never seen this picture before. But the way Alex is looking at her... well Maggie has been lucky enough to see that every day for as long as she can remember being with Alex.

So the words Maggie runs her fingers over, Alex’s handwriting spelling ‘ _Home_ ’, makes her heart skip a beat every time she looks at it.

And it’s moments like these that Maggie wishes she could go back in time, to her younger self, just to tell her that it will all be okay. That one day she’ll have more love in her life than she could ever possibly know what to do with, that she can sleep at night knowing that Alex will be waiting for her someday ahead.

Maggie supposes its rare for someone to understand what they have when it's right in front of them. But it’s impossible not to with Alex, because Maggie knows both ends of the spectrum, the love as well as the emptiness. So when it comes to Alex, who can light up the darkest of moments with only a smile, Maggie knows exactly what she’s got.

With her heart beating strongly against her chest, Maggie takes on last look around the room where she finally trusted Alex with who she is, trusted her to understand, rather than judge the person it shaped Maggie to be. And none of it seems that bad now, just knowing that going through it all led her to Alex.

So Maggie heads back outside, putting the picture carefully into her riding bag before pulling her helmet on.

Lena's advice to take it slow runs through Maggie’s head and she has to physically concentrate on keeping to the speed limit, when all she really wants to do is get home as fast as possible. The route itself feels as normal as breathing, the familiar streets and signs all painting a picture Maggie’s been creating for almost twenty years, since she first met Alex. All these places Maggie has stored in her minds eye, making up her and Alex’s little corner of the world. And to Maggie, every crack in the sidewalk is perfect, as is every aging building and traffic light.

They're still in the same place and Maggie smiles at the familiar apartment building she pulls up to, not bothering to take her bike down to the parking area and leaving it out front instead.

The lobby security takes a minute to get through, keypads and codes all being entered automatically by Maggie’s fingers as her mind focuses on being upstairs. And the elevator ride feels like an eternity, the numbers above Maggie’s head clicking slowly upwards until they finally reach the top floor and she can squeeze through the opening doors.

She fumbles with the keys for a moment before the lock to the apartment clicks, the door swaying forward as Maggie shoves it open.

“Alex?” Maggie calls out, a little surprised to see the kitchen and living both empty, the only welcome she gets being from the border collie in the corner who sits up in her bed and wags her tail excitedly.

“Hey Gertie, how you doing my girl huh?” Maggie says quietly, cautious of being too loud for the old dog. “Where’s Al hmm? Where’s Alex?” She questions, earning a little yap from Gertie in response to Alex’s name.

And it makes Maggie laugh, because while Gertie may be their dog, she has always been Alex’s baby, the pair constantly curled up on the couch or sneaking treats when they think Maggie isn’t watching.

And thinking of Alex has Maggie in a little bit of a stump, because she’s pretty sure the picture from Lena and James was meant to bring her here.

But they’d bought the apartment next door a few years back, so Maggie decides to check the rest of the apartment.

They'd spent a while pulling down a few walls so they could add another bedroom and bathroom off where Alex’s room used to be. Plus their new bedroom now actually has a door and Maggie will never admit it to anyone except Alex, but she adores their new walk in wardrobe. Well to be more accurate, Maggie loves the time she spends in it. Most mornings with Alex start in there, the both of them still too sleepy to be completely functional, but awake enough to want to be as close to each other as possible.

So usually Maggie will find herself staring at her coat hangers, debating what to wear as Alex cuddles up behind her, head resting on Maggie’s shoulder as she tries not to fall back asleep. And on many an occasion, Maggie has done a reversal and requested that they call in sick to work and just stay in bed all day.

But when Maggie goes to check down the hall, the door to the balcony swings open, the glass rattling a little at the force that Maggie can only assume is Kara rushing in.

Her suspicions are confirmed as she comes back to the living room to a very flustered Kara, cape and hair blowing around like they're caught in a hurricane.

“Hey Kar.” Maggie says amusedly, stepping down the stairs that once led to Alex’s bedroom, but now act as a step into the passageway leading to the bedrooms. “You okay?”

“Maggie!” Kara exclaims, speeding over and pulling the captain into a tight hug. “I’m so glad you’re still here, I'm running so late and Lena told me I had to be here like a half hour ago but there was a crash and then a fire downtown and I was on my way and then there was this puppy and-" the hero rambles on before Maggie cuts her off.

“Kara. It’s fine, I just got here. And Lena told me to tell you about a schedule or something.” Maggie assures, grateful when the grip Kara has around her ribs loosens a little as she pulls back to look at Maggie.

“I know I know, I’ve only got like five minutes now, Lena called and told me you were on your way over and...” Kara starts, gears turning in her head as she thinks.

"Wait... You just got here?" She asks confusedly.

"Yeah." Maggie nods, hoping Kara will explain what she's thinking.

But the hero just laughs softly. “She did it to me again.” Kara says, shaking her head even though there’s a big smile on her face.

“Did what?” Maggie questions.

“Lena’s been doing this thing lately where she’ll tell me to be somewhere earlier than she actually wants me there.” Kara explains.

“So that when things invariably don’t go to plan and you're late, you're still on time.” Maggie finishes, chuckling at the way Kara huffs a little at her girlfriends scheme.

“She knows me so well.” Kara sighs happily, gaze finding her boots that scuff at the floor.

“Well my offer still stands.” Maggie promises, reaching out and grabbing Kara’s hands. “Whenever you’re ready, we can go out and find a ring for her.”

“Yeah? Should I ask Alex too?” Kara asks shyly.

“Yes.” Maggie confirms gently. “She’d love nothing more than to know you're happy, just like me, you know that.” She reasons, squeezing Kara’s hands as tight as possible, knowing it’ll only register faintly to the hero.

“Thank you Maggie.” Kara whispers, pulling her into another hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Oh come on, you'd be fine.” Maggie jokes. “You've got so many people behind you, a massive family you've found here. You're never going to need help and not be able to find it in the people who love you.” Maggie assures, hoping that Kara knows how important she is.

Because Maggie understands losing family. And she understands finding it. So her connection to Kara has only gotten stronger over the years, both having someone to lean on when it comes to Alex. But also when it comes to certain regrets and hopes that can never really be filled. And together they've found a way to replace all those things with something far more important; each other.

So when Kara speaks, Maggie can’t do much else besides cry and huddle into the hero’s arms.

“I know I'd be okay. But with you it’s all so much better. I don’t want okay, I want our family. And our family wouldn’t be what it is without you.” Kara reasons, running a hand up and down Maggie’s back. “I'm so grateful you showed up here that night with pizza and beer, opening your heart and being honest about your feelings with Alex. I know there has hard for you.” She whispers. “But even if you and Alex, Rao forbid, ever broke up, you know that your place is right here. You're home, you have been all this time. And you're never going anywhere.” Kara says resolutely.

And Maggie can’t really say much past her tears, content just to let Kara hold her tightly until the emotion passes and she can pull away to wipe at her cheeks.

“I love you.” Kara says cheerfully, the sunny Danvers smile making Maggie chuckle past the few remaining tears she brushes away.

“love you too.” Maggie says sincerely, her heart bursting knowing that this is actually her life.

Because she can never hear that she’s loved enough, something this family never seems to have an issue with. Everyone just gives it so easily and willingly, something Maggie thought shed be used to by now. But she’s not. Every time she hears those three words it makes her feel like she’s won the biggest battle of her life. And in a way, Maggie supposes she has. So all the hurt and damage, the scars and the bruises are all fading from her soul as more and more years pass by.

The thought makes Maggie smile. And she’s thinking about this whole day, how everyone has been here, saying all these things. She’s found all these people too, found a place she belongs. And now Maggie thinks she knows what Alex is trying to do.

She isn't home right now because she's standing in her living room. She's home because Kara is here, just like she was home at the DEO with Jonn and Winn or at the dance hall with James and Lena. And Maggie's putting it all together, the first clue leading her to where Alex proposed, the second to where they first said they loved each other. It goes back from there, to their first Valentine's day to the first time Maggie admitted she had feelings for Alex.

So being a former detective, Maggie has a hunch she’s more than willing to follow. And as she looks at all the things around her and Alex’s home, Maggie let’s a smile burn onto her face.

“I think I know where to go.” She says to Kara, who is watching her eagerly.

“Alex said you might.” Kara says with a grin. “Can I take you?” She offers, arm extending out to Maggie.

“It’ll get me there faster and I’m pretty sure Lena is probably waiting for you somewhere, so yes please.” Maggie accepts, laughing at the slight concern that flashes over Kara’s features at the mention of Lena waiting.

They step out onto the balcony, the setting sun casting long arcs of orange light and black shadows across the buildings and streets below. The whole day seeming to be quiet and peaceful, as if knowing that on this occasion it was reserved for Alex and Maggie.

And for all her strength and poise she exudes when wearing her supersuit, the image is broken when Kara motions excitedly for Maggie to hop onto her back. The captain just rolls her eyes but accepts the invite for a piggy back, secretly enjoying being able to goof off like this at her age. But Kara halts as she goes to take off, turning back to Maggie slightly to speak.

“Just to be sure, where are we going again?” She asks.

Maggie laughs, holding tightly to Kara with one arm as she points out to the edge of the city. “The airport.”

Kara smiles brightly, arms looping under Maggie’s knees to hold her firmly in place.

And with that, the pair shoot into the sky, Maggie’s stomach still lurching a little even after all these years of flying with Kara. She still doesn’t like looking down either, preferring to look up at the clouds and buildings they weave between as people shout and wave up at them from below.  
Having the wind in her hair always makes Maggie think about the stories Alex would tell her about growing up, how her and Kara would sneak out of the house to go flying. And it makes Maggie laugh every time she thinks about Alex having to keep Kara from sleep flying too, the old habit still making an appearance every now and then.

And Maggie watches as the sun dips below the hills, the sky slowly turning black as they approach the only place in the city not lit up by car lights and neon signs.

Kara lands in the middle of a runway, the lines and layout fairly familiar to Maggie after all the times Alex and herself have been here, most notably their first meeting and wedding. But also late night bike races across the tarmac or Maggie’s first flying lessons with Kara (which Maggie is pretty sure was just an afternoon of her yelling and getting laughed at by her wife.)

“I'll see you back home later.” Kara says, letting Maggie down before pulling her into a hug.

“Fly safe.” Maggie responds, chuckling at the faux pout Kara puts on at the request.

“It's no fun that way.” The hero jokes.

Maggie rolls her eyes, giving Kara a playful slap on the shoulder. “Stop damaging buildings for fun.”

Kara laughs, nodding her head in amusement. “Okay okay. But some people would call that ‘damage’ art, so I guess we’ll see if people miss it.” She quips.

“Well they won’t miss the taxes it takes to fix, I can tell you that much.” Maggie retorts.

“ugh, I hate when you're right.” Kara sighs. “Fine, safe and boring flying on the agenda then captain.” The hero says, faking a salute at Maggie who just shakes her head.

“You're unbelievable.” Maggie muses.

“You love it, you love me and you have a big ol’ crush on my sister, so you're gonna be putting up with this for the rest of our lives, sorry not sorry.” Kara grins out.

“Yeah yeah, I love all you weirdos.” Maggie agrees contently.

Kara opens her mouth to respond, but suddenly turns her attention towards the city.

Maggie watches as her head tilts to listen to something far off in the distance.

“I gotta go, I’m so sor-" Kara starts, Maggie interrupting the predictable apology the hero will try to ramble out, which by now isn't necessary.

“Kara, it’s okay. I'm sure I won’t be here alone for too long. Go get 'em sis.” Maggie urges, smiling back at Kara when the blonde beams at the nickname.

And with one final hug, Kara walks a few feet away and launches into the sky, the pavement cracking a little at the force.

“Show off.” Maggie mumbles amusedly, hearing a faint and distant ‘sorry’ echo back down from the sky as Kara’s response.

Maggie paces over to the broken ground, kicking at the loose rubble a little with her boot. It’s not too broken up, small pieces just a little loose on the surface, so Maggie kneels down to try and press a few of the larger pieces back into place. Thankfully Kara was off the runway, so at least no planes would be finding themselves hitting holes on takeoff and landing. But Maggie still makes a note to call the airport tomorrow to let them know. She sighs at the little mess, but can’t find the will to do anything besides smile knowing that it was Kara who made it.

But Maggie feels her heart stop when a familiar voice sounds out behind her.

“You know this is my crime scene.” Alex calls out.

Maggie smiles, her cheeks burning as she feels her dimples showing up.

“Airport is NCPD jurisdiction.” She throws back reminiscently as she turns to face her wife.

The only light there is to see by is Alex's Ducati's headlight shining behind the agent, the old machine still spinning thanks to Alex’s ownership. But even then the night is clear, letting the moonlight cast a soft glow in the night air.

So Maggie can see Alex smiling as she waltzes over, stopping only when she’s close enough that if Maggie leaned up she could kiss her.

“Well wherever you are is my jurisdiction, and that never ends.” Alex reasons.

“Is that so Agent Danvers?” Maggie questions playfully, watching intently as the wind blows softly at the short strands of Alex’s hair.

“It is, Captain Sawyer.” Alex smirks. “Although I think you'll find that it’s reciprocal, so I would call us even.”

Maggie represses a laugh at that. “You saying we're both in charge then?” She questions.

“Well we're a good team, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Alex admits quietly, the agents tone being dropped for a more affectionate whisper.

Maggie leans up to drape her arms around Alex’s neck, smiling up at her. “Me neither. There's no one else in the world I'd rather do anything with.” She admits. 

And the little cheek bite Alex does in lieu of a smile at the words makes Maggie lose her breath a little. But even then, the urge to tug the agent in to her lips wins out over the need to breathe. And the feeling of them both smiling into the kiss makes it seem like the entire world just fades away, a small part of Maggie always wishes it would, just leaving her with Alex in these moments forever.

When they both eventually pull away, Alex's arms wrapped comfortably around Maggie’s waist, the captain is grateful when Alex leans down to rest her forehead against her own. Because she loves being able to be this close to Alex, to hear and feel her breathing in and out as her pulse beats calmly against Maggie’s fingers where they rest gently on the agents neck. She just likes being in Alex's space in general, her presence always making Maggie's heart beat a little irregularly, in the best way imaginable.

“I'm so in love with you.” Alex whispers.

And Maggie can’t help the shaky breath that escapes her lips at the way Alex looks at her when she says that, grateful that the agent has a strong hold on her waist, because her legs suddenly feel incapable of holding her up. But Maggie knows she never has to be scared of falling with Alex, she never has to be scared of getting hurt when she lands. Because one way or another, Alex will always be there to save her.

“I'm in love with you too Alex.” Maggie says gently, nudging the agents nose with her own softly, earning a little giggle from the girl she loves.

“Forever?” Alex questions.

And the familiar question always brings a smile to Maggie’s face. Because they've had an answer to it for so long now, anything else seeming inadequate as a response.

“Forever will never be enough.” Maggie murmurs back.

Alex laughs a little at the answer, pulling Maggie close to hold her. So the pair end up swaying gently, Maggie feeling completely grounded with the sensation of Alex’s heart beating against her own as they dance to music neither of them can hear.

And Maggie can't count the times she’s spent just like this, quiet moments where all she can do is thank whatever is watching over them for bringing Alex into her life.

But the moment is broken suddenly by a loud boom, Maggie startling a little at the noise. In their line of work, being jumpy isn’t exactly unusual. But Alex’s arms stay wrapped around her, holding Maggie steady as bright coloured lights illuminate the agents face.

And Maggie looks up, the sky holding a massive rainbow firework in the shape of a heart over their heads.

“Just in case you didn’t know, I'm crazy about you.” Alex says into Maggie’s ear as more colours explode overhead.

The surprise makes Maggie’s heart leap as she laughs with Alex. This is something pulled out of a movie that Maggie would usually avoid watching. But coming from Alex, Maggie understands why it's always portrayed as being romantic.

“How did you do this?” She asks, relaxing back into Alex's arms as the agent brushes a strand of hair behind Maggie’s ear.

“We have very helpful family and Lena is always reliable on timing.” Alex responds with a smile, leaning in close so that she can be heard over the fireworks. “Although Winn is still a little scared to be alone with you, which is rude because that's meant to be my thing.”

Maggie laughs. “Well I'm sure he doesn't mind being nervous around us both, we are his favourite after all.” She recants happily.

“You make a good point.” Alex jokes, leaning down to kiss Maggie’s forehead. “We have such a weird family” She muses aloud.

Maggie hums in agreement, knowing that all the people she’s spoken with today are definitely a strange lot. But they are family first and foremost in Maggie’s heart.

So she’s grateful that Alex knows, even after all these years, that getting reassurance of that fact is still important to Maggie.

Because she’s not perfect, she still has trouble facing things. But with Alex, Maggie isn’t ashamed of that. All Alex makes her feel when it comes to those sorts of things, is sure. Sure that she's worthy of all the love the people in her life give her, even if she doesn't know why they do at times. Because ‘unconditional’ has been the reasoning from them all for as long as Maggie can remember.

And looking at Alex now, with all the colours from the fireworks lighting up her eyes as she watches the sky, Maggie knows it will always be the reason. Because she really does love Alex unconditionally.

“Thank you.” Maggie says, drawing Alex’s attention back to her. “For all of this. I don’t know how to tell you how much it means to me, it’s all just s-‘ Maggie starts before Alex interrupts her by pulling her into a kiss.

Maggie loses track of her words, finding herself just staring at Alex when she pulls back a little.

“Sorry, you just...” Alex tries, shaking her head a little, the light from the fireworks dancing in her hair. “You deserve the world. And you're here with me instead, which is completely insane. So I don’t know how to tell you how it feels, there’s no words and I just can’t figure out how to say any of it.” She explains.

Maggie brings her hands up to cradle Alex's face, thumbs running over the agents cheeks, urging her too look at her properly.

“Alex, you are my world.” Maggie reasons. “Everything you are is so much more than I could ever hope to be worthy of, but I’ll spend a thousand lifetimes trying to be.”

“Mags...” Alex leans back down to rest her forehead on Maggie’s, her hands letting go of the captains waist in favour of holding her hands between them. And Maggie smiles at the way Alex's fingers play with her wedding ring out of habit as she tries to figure out how to respond. But Maggie needs Alex to listen right now.

“I know what you're going to say, or at least some version of it. But I mean it. You are nothing short of incredible Alex.” Maggie continues, before Alex can start unpacking her words. “And I'm never going to stop trying, not with you. I'm not saying I’m a bad person, but you make me want to be better.” She explains. “Every day you make me want to keep growing, get stronger and be less afraid of the things I don’t understand. You make me want to try.”

And Alex let’s out a stifled cry, trying to wipe her cheeks on her shoulders so she doesn’t have to let go of Maggie’s hands. The site makes Maggie’s chest ache, all the love she feels for Alex hitting her full force like a star falling from the sky. So she brings Alex’s hands up to her chest, right above her heartbeat and holds them there until the agent manages to calm herself a little. The beating feels almost as loud as the fireworks in the sky, but Maggie isn’t worried about Alex feeling that.

“You make me want to try too.” Alex murmurs out quietly, letting her body relax forward into Maggie.

“Then we try together.” Maggie resounds gently, comfortable enough to let Alex’s hands go and hold her face again as a firework explodes high above them.

By now Alex's eyes are a little drier, Maggie wiping at the last tears with her fingers. And the little laugh the agent let’s out at the gesture brings a smile to Maggie’s face.

“I'm never going to be able to get used to you, always making me feel like a perfect mess.” Alex sighs out.

“Maybe. But you're my beautiful, driven, brave, sometimes smarty pants, absolutely perfect mess.” Maggie corrects with a light hearted smirk.

“Oh shut up.” Alex quips playfully, tugging at Maggie’s collar to pull her into a kiss.

And it’s a little messy with them both laughing, but neither wants to pull away. So they just stand in the middle of the runway, laughing and smiling between kisses as the fireworks fade off, the night air returning to its usual quiet state.

After a while they find themselves swaying again, Maggie’s head resting against Alex’s shoulder as she catches her breath happily.

But eventually she pulls back and looks back at her wife, a smile sitting heavily on the captain's face. And she is about to start what is sure to be a very emotional monologue when Alex shakes her head softly.

“Wait.” Alex whispers, tugging at Maggie's hand and pulling her over to her Ducati. She rustles around in her riding bag, smiling in victory as she brings out a satin gift bag.

“What’s this?” Maggie asks as Alex opens the captain’s palm to accept the present.

“Open it.” Alex urges happily.

Maggie shakes her head, struggling not to be completely taken by the knowing smile on her wife’s face.

“Okay okay.” Maggie chuckles, pulling on the strings to open the bag.

She tips it up, two gold bracelets falling out. At this point Alex is apparently too excited to let Maggie look the jewellery over before asking for one of the thin bands.

“Put yours on.” Alex requests excitedly, already letting hers settle onto her wrist.

Maggie goes a little wide eyed when the metal warps and fits itself perfectly to Alex’s arm, shrinking down until it looks as tight as an elastic band.

“What the...” Maggie starts, lifting Alex’s hand to see.

“Just put it on.” Alex laughs out, pulling Maggie’s arm out and putting the bracelet on for her. Once again the metal tightens, stopping when it’s snug against Maggie’s wrist.

“Okay. Now press the inside edge and hold it for a bit.” Alex instructs.

Doing as she’s told without much apprehension, Maggie is a little more focused on the way Alex is looking at her rather than the bracelet. So when it suddenly starts thumping against her inner wrist, Maggie practically jumps at the sensation.

“Woah!” Maggie exclaims, her hand instinctively moving to tug at the bracelet.

“No no wait. “ Alex says gently, pulling Maggie a little closer. “Look.” She says, motioning down.

And there’s a small light blinking rhythmically on the band, in time with the soft thumping it emits.

“What is that?” Maggie questions.

Alex just smiles, intertwining her fingers with Maggie’s as she holds their hands between them.

“Kiss me.” She whispers, leaning down a little into Maggie’s space.

And the tone in Alex’s voice makes Maggie’s heart race, her breath hitching a little at the speak in the agents eyes. But even then, Maggie never has to be asked twice, regardless of whether or not her legs are capable of lifting her the few inches to reach Alex. So she just grabs at the agents neck, tugging her down gently until she can feel Alex smiling smugly against her lips.

And its the fact that Alex knows she has this kind of effect on her that makes Maggie step forward, Alex stumbling back in surprise and ending up sitting against her bike seat.

Maggie grabs at Alex’s collar to make sure she doesn’t fall back too far, tugging her back upright a little forcefully so that she doesn’t have to break their kiss.

And that’s when Maggie feels it, a sharp and heavy pulse jumping against her wrist, fading back to a gentle beat once Alex is kissing her back happily. The rhythm is familiar enough that Maggie has a hunch, the detective in her excited about testing the theory.

So with the combination of being able to stand between Alex's legs and the rare occurrence of being taller than the agent, Maggie takes full advantage of her position.

She nudges Alex’s face back gently, grabbing softly at the agents hair when she refuses to pull away and forcing her head back slightly.

And Maggie’s heart stutters at the gasp Alex let’s out at the motion, letting her fingers hold a little tighter at Alex's short hair in response.

But she can’t help but smile at the little laugh Alex let’s out, because the agent could probably feel Maggie’s reaction from her own bracelet. So just to prove herself right, Maggie lets her fingers trail lightly down Alex’s neck, the bracelet on her wrist beating in time with the pulse Maggie feels there.

And she smiles into the kiss Alex pulls her into as the bracelets mimic their heartbeats to each other.

If this were any other night, Maggie would probably demand that Alex take her home right now for reasons other than their friends waiting to celebrate with them. So she knows that she should calm things down if there's any hope of getting home tonight.

“Okay so um...” Maggie tries to start, pulling far enough away from Alex that she can breathe without wanting to lean back in and kiss her. Which never really works without a huge effort.

“Yeah.” Alex says bashfully, rubbing at the back of her neck as a deep blush creeps over her face. “So it’s also meant for whenever we're apart and just want reassurance or something. I know sometimes listening or feeling the beats help calm you down, so now you can do that whenever you want.” She explains shyly, stepping forward to press at Maggie’s bracelet to turn it off.

And its true, so many times all that could bring Maggie back to a normal state was having Alex's heart beating surely against her own. Because knowing Alex is safe is often the only thing she wants in her day.

So Maggie chokes up, huddling back into Alex as the tears start building, pulling the agent into a crushing hug at the thoughtfulness behind the present.

Because Alex knows that Maggie needs her, knows that she needs a little extra reassurance that Alex is safe and okay. And the fact that Maggie can feel all of that, want all of that, without Alex making her feel like she’s being needy or overbearing, is really what makes Maggie’s chest burn like a forest fire. Because at the end of the day, Maggie wants all of Alex. Any moment she can get, the good, bad and in between. Maggie just wants to spend it with this girl. And Alex, after fifteen years, still gives Maggie everything her heart asks for, without even being asked to.

“Thank you.” Maggie whimpers out against Alex’s shoulder. “I- I love y- ” She tries to breath out between tears.

“Shhh hey, it’s okay.” Alex urges, her hands bringing Maggie's face out from hiding in her shoulder so she can look at her. “I love you too.” She promises gently.

And Maggie just smiles and wipes at her cheeks, not being able to find the right words to say what she’s feeling. Thankfully Alex steps in to help, her fingers gentle against Maggie’s cheeks as she dries them off. And once again all Maggie can do is look at her wife, in awe of how breathtaking she is. From the way she thinks, to the way she speaks and moves, everything about her.

“You're so beautiful.” Maggie whispers, the love in her chest threatening to give her a heart attack.

Alex let’s her hands cradle Maggie’s face. “So are you.” She says softly, leaning her forehead against Maggie’s.

So when Alex nudges her nose forward in question, Maggie laughs softly and lifts herself up to kiss Alex gently.

And it’s perfect, everything is always perfect with Alex. So Maggie happily let’s her arms stay wrapped around the girl she loves even after their kiss ends.

“I guess we should head home to everyone.” Alex mumbles, pulling back and kissing at Maggie’s dimples when she smiles.

“I could stay here another five minutes.” Maggie bargains, shrugging her shoulders innocently, even though all she wants to do is keep kissing Alex here until she can’t physically stand anymore. And the look Alex gives her makes Maggie think that her real motives aren’t one sided.

“Five minutes.” Alex agrees happily, looping her arms around her wife and lifting her up to spin them around as Maggie leans down to kiss her again.

And it takes half an hour for them to finally pull apart, both ready to go spend the rest of the night with their family.

But Maggie suddenly remembers the present she’s got in her pocket and she tugs at Alex’s sleeve to stop her from getting onto the bike.

“So I have something. And I don’t want to cross any lines or anything.” Maggie starts out, reaching out to hold Alex’s hand when a worried expression flashes across her wife’s features. “Its not bad I promise, just a little personal. And I really want you to consider it, but know that I support whatever you want, Always. Okay?” Maggie asks, not making another move until Alex nods her understanding.

Only then does Maggie pull the small box from her pocket, passing it gently over to Alex.

The agent eyes it carefully, her gaze flitting up to Maggie for reassurance before she pulls the lid off.

“What is it?” Alex questions, pulling a small coin shaped object which hangs from a chain from the box. There's a small ‘El Mayarah’ crest engraved into the black steel and Alex’s fingers play with the edges as she turns it over in her hands.

Maggie motions for Alex to hand the necklace to her, palm outstretched to hold it.

“Like I said, you can decide to keep it or not yeah?” Maggie asks again. Because what this means for Alex is something Maggie knows the agent will have to decide for herself.

“Yeah.” Alex assures.

“Okay.” Maggie says, stepping back a little from Alex as she pulls the necklace over her head, letting the disc sit against her chest.

She smiles softly at Alex before pressing down hard into the steel, the feeling of it reacting and spreading out over her torso still feeling really strange to Maggie. But Lena and Winn had assured her the suit was completely safe and finished, so she doesn’t worry as the flexible mesh that emanates out from the disc hardens into a tough shell over her body.

And once it stops, Kara’s crest lighting up slightly as the electronics kick in, Maggie doesn’t really know what to make of Alex’s reaction. Because she’s quiet, her gaze moving over the suit as she appears to think over it all.

“You don’t have to keep it.” Maggie assures gently, pacing back to Alex to hold her hands, needing some form of contact not to freak out right now.

“It's amazing Maggie.” Alex says sincerely.

“But?” Maggie asks, able to see the conflict warring over Alex’s face even as she says it’s amazing.

“But... I'm retiring in like a month. We agreed that this was all starting to get beyond us in terms of being safe. So why this?” Alex questions.

And it’s a fair point. They had discussed Alex retiring a while ago, more so over the last few months and weeks. Because at their age, both their jobs are starting to be more reckless as opposed to just being risky. And age wasn’t really factored into much of their planning if Maggie looks back and is honest with herself.

But lately Alex has been struggling with letting that part of herself go, of not being able to go out there and help her sister. That's why Maggie wanted to do this.

“I know we said that it’s time to retire, at least to less risky jobs.” Maggie recants. “But I don’t think that’s what you really want, not right now at least.”

Alex looks to the pavement, the gesture letting Maggie know that she’s right in her conclusion.

“Its just hard.” Alex mumbles out, squeezing Maggie’s hand gently But not looking up from her boots.

“I know.” Maggie whispers, kneeling down onto one knee so that she can see Alex’s face. “That’s why I got this. Lena and Winn have set it all up, the material is stronger than Kara’s current suit even. The tech has something to do with stored energy and kinetic stuff, Lena can explain it better.” Maggie reasons. “And it’s got built in recall mechanisms so if anything critical fails or it detects that you're badly injured it’ll automatically evacuate you back to the DEO. It'll let you be Agent Danvers, just for a little longer.”

“And you're okay with that?” Alex asks, her eyes soft as they find Maggie’s and beg for honesty.

But Maggie could never lie when it comes to this kind of thing. She understands the risks, but she also understands Alex. And she needs to be this person for a while more.

“Yes. And I've thought about it, a lot.” Maggie assures. “You need to be who you are right now. Sometimes change has to wait for you to be ready, which is okay Alex. With this we have time, if you want it.” She offers.

And Alex looks over Maggie's face, trying to find a reason to doubt the words she’s hearing but clearly not finding any. And the realisation opens a flood gate, because Alex is suddenly standing and hauling Maggie into a hug that borders on Kara’s strength.

“Thank you.” Alex breathes out with relief.

“You could have spoken to me if you weren’t feeling ready though.” Maggie says as she pulls back a little.

“I wasn’t keeping it away, I promise.” Alex swears. “I was going to do it in a few says, I didn't want to focus on it when our anniversary was coming up.” She explains.

And Maggie trusts that Alex would have come to her. So she tip toes up to kiss her wife’s cheek.

“I’m not mad or anything babe, but you know you don’t have to hold onto things until the timing is right. You know how much I love you, timing or no, I always wanna talk with you. Especially about the tough stuff.” Maggie assures, hoping Alex won't let herself get lost in their plans for the future. Because plans will always be there, the chance for Alex to do what she ultimately loves, what she’s good at, won’t always be possible.

“I know. And I love you too Mags.” Alex mumbles out cutely. “I just didn't think about it all that much once I started planning today, it just wasn’t as important as this.” She explains, swinging her and Maggie’s hands softly between them.

“You're so sweet.” Maggie gushes, leaning up and bumping her nose playfully with Alex’s. “And it was an amazing day, one of the best.” She admits happily, giving Alex a small kiss to help relieve some of the tension on her face. “And to be honest, I’m dying to see you in this suit.” She whispers playfully, ecstatic at the giggle it evokes from Alex.

Maggie presses at the centre of the super crest on her chest to remove the suit, the material crawling back up her body and back into a small disc that hangs around her neck by a thin chain.

“But I think we should probably get home before Kara comes looking for us.” Maggie chuckles out. “So let’s just save this for later.” She says with a smirk, handing the necklace over to her wife.

Alex just smiles back, her eyebrows raising playfully as she shrugs her shoulders happily. “You can’t handle me in a suit babe.” She says smugly, throwing a leg over her bike and offering a helmet to Maggie.

“I can handle you out of it.” Maggie throws back, leaning in close to Alex's face. “And that’s all that matters.” She whispers, wishing the heartbeat bracelets were on so she could feel the way Alex’s heart must be beating in combination with the way her breathe hitches slightly.

But before they get side-tracked again, Maggie smiles temptingly and tugs on her helmet, flipping up the visor to talk as she gets on the bike behind Alex, who is still looking a little hot under the collar.

“Lets go home.” Maggie says happily, looping her arms around Alex’s waist.

And the Ducati roars beneath them, Alex smiling back over her shoulder at Maggie before she pulls her own helmet on.

“Lets go home.” She echoes back, revving the engine as the wheels spin a little on the runway.

Maggie shakes her head at the way both Alex and Kara can’t help but cause a scene upon exiting a place. But with the city lights ahead and knowing that she has a whole family behind her, Maggie couldn't be happier than she is now.

And if it’s true that we define love by the way we experience it, then Maggie can easily say that it’s the most difficult thing in life. But it’s also the most important, the most freeing and the most beautiful thing as well. Which the more years Maggie spends thinking about it, may not just be love after all, it’s Alex. And to be honest, love and Alex have been one and the same for as long as Maggie can remember.

So spending all these years with such an amazing girl, someone Maggie never feels lost around, someone she can give everything to and get the same in return, well that’s what Maggie knows life is all about.

All these years, all the scary, happy and breathtaking moments spent with Alex... Maggie is at peace knowing these days are the best of her life.

And she can’t wait for so many more with the girl she loves.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.” – Pedro Arrupe 
> 
> Let me know if you liked it :)  
> Also I had half an idea about doing a chapter on around their 8th wedding anniversary, a little more focused on the danger their lives revolve around, angst basically (can't go wrong with angst am I right??) So let me know if that's something you'd like me to do :D


	4. 16th Anniversary: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst. I'd say sorry but we all want it so...  
> Hope the writing is okay and the setting works :D

_16 year wedding anniversary_

They're sitting on the couch, another family night celebrating their wedding anniversary all scattered around in the form of gift wrapping and bottles. And Maggie has her heart beat bracelet on, enjoying the soft tapping against her wrist as Alex plays with her hair. Maggie always enjoys the calm rhythm that comes through when Alex is relaxed... And the not so calm rhythm when Alex isn’t so relaxed...

But she usually turns it on when they’re like this together, so used to having the constant reminder of Alex’s heart beating that it feels more normal than actually hearing it these days. Although Maggie still loves that too, the both in combination is actually her favourite now that she thinks about it, leaning down onto Alex’s collar bone comfortably to listen to the faint thudding there.

That’s when the call comes through.

Winn is on the other end, sounding panicked as Maggie tries to understand him over the speakerphone. Alex is already up and putting her suit necklace around her neck as Maggie rummages around for her bike keys.

“Its heading for downtown, Kara’s already on the way.” Winn finally gets out.

“What is it Winn?” Alex questions, concern etching itself into her eyes as they both grab their guns and make for the door, choosing to sprint down the stairs. “What are we fighting exactly?”

“I don’t know, it’s huge! I can’t find it on the database but it looks like a grey hulk thing, something out of star wars, I dunno.” He explains worriedly.

And the description clicks in Maggie’s head, mostly rumours she’s heard around the bar and in alleys over the years making a recall in her memory as they crash into the parking garage.

“It might be a Valecian.” Maggie calls out, climbing onto the bike behind Alex and pulling her helmet on. “They're meant to be extinct.”

“Okay I'll look it up.” Winn mumbles, his computer keys clicking in background.

“Tell us when you've got something and tell Kara we’re enroute.” Alex orders, flipping her visor down and shoving her phone into her pocket before spinning the wheels of the bike and speeding out into the dark streets.

And Maggie has to hold a little tightly so she doesn’t fall off when Alex steers them through corners, the bike roaring in protest with the rough gear changes.

But it's pretty hard to miss the carnage as the buildings surrounding them change from tall and proud to crumbling and desolate. And Maggie hears it before she sees it, the loud screeching filling her ears as Kara suddenly smashes into a wall ahead of them.

And even with the hero’s latest metallic suit, Maggie can see Kara is struggling not to feel the impact as Alex skids the bike to a halt and they run to help her.

“Kara! Are you okay?!” Alex asks worriedly, hands moving to her sister’s shoulders as Kara tries to shake it off.

“Yeah. You guys should back up a little, I got this.” The hero assures, even as she accepts Maggie’s hand to help stand up.

“Like hell.” Alex throws back, pressing at her necklace to activate her suit, the material warping over her body before the crest lights up to signal that it’s operational.

“I mean it.” Kara urges, hunching over slightly to catch her breath. “Nothing I’m throwing at this thing is working. And I don’t want to kill it without knowing it’s actually a threat, so most of my powers aren’t in play.”

“This thing is tossing you around like a rag doll.” Alex presses, motioning to the debris pile they just pulled Kara up from. “Looks like a threat to me.”

“You know that sometimes aliens like this can’t control it Alex. It could be a fit or an episode, then what? We’ve killed an innocent and that’s not what we do. I just want to wait for Winn to tell us what this is before I take it on fully.” Kara explains staunchly. “But it’s dangerous and I don’t want either of you getting hurt.”

And Maggie and Alex are both about to argue when a loud screech fills the air again, a grey bulge of a creature stomping around the corner a few hundred feet away. It’s feet and hands crack the road and buildings with every touch, claws scraping across the rock and steel making each step sound like knives dragging across a sharpening block.

Right then and there, Maggie knows there’s no way she’s letting either of her girls face this thing without her.

So she shuffles between them, holding their hands tightly when the creature starts making it’s way forward, teeth snarling and dripping with every breath it gulps down. And in this dark setting, light from the street lamps flickering brokenly onto its face, Maggie would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared.

“I'll take the front.” Kara strategizes, nodding across at Maggie and Alex.

“I’ve got left.” Alex confirms, squeezing Maggie’s hand tightly.

And Maggie can feel Alex’s heartbeat going a thousand times a minute, her bracelet still flashing an on light on her wrist.

So even though Maggie can see in her wife’s eyes that Alex really wants to ask her to stand out of this, to get somewhere safe, she knows that Maggie will never let her do this alone.

“I’m on the right, meet in the middle.” Maggie says, feeling Alex’s heart race even more at her words.

But the alien is getting close, tugging at buildings to help drag itself along as it towers almost ten feet over their heads, eyes fixated on the trio as they separate a little.

As planned, Maggie waits for Alex to move around the left side of the street, doing the same as Kara draws the aliens attention from the front.

“Hey, over here! Come on!” The hero yells, waving her hands for effect. “I’m right here!”

The tactic seems to work, the alien moving sluggishly towards Kara and not paying all that much attention to either Maggie or Alex as they move to surround it.

Kara hovers a little in the air as it gets closer, trying to maintain some sort of advantage as she keeps it focused on her. The alien swings aimlessly up at the air, trying to land a hit as Kara weaves out of the way, hesitant to attack before Winn calls back on the comms.

And it takes a few minutes, the three of them managing to keep the alien confined to this section of the street, so at least it’s not damaging anywhere else. But Winn finally echoes into Maggie’s ear, a little calmer now as he relays information to them.

“Okay, Maggie was right. We’re dealing with a Valecian.” He confirms. “Now these guys tend to be triggered by stress or trauma, otherwise they're basically normal people.”

“So it's a shapeshifter?” Kara questions, dodging another car sized fist.

“Of sorts.” Winn confirms, Jonn ordering units to move out in the background.

“How do we take it down?” Alex asks, her gun aimed but powered off.

“If we can sedate it we should be able to put it in holding until it shifts back.” Winn explains.

And Maggie shakes her head at that plan. Because while it sounds easy, sedating something the size of a truck isn’t exactly a normal thing for them.

But they have to try. And Kara is on board the second she doesn’t have to hurt anyone so it's no surprise as she responds back to the DEO control room.

“Okay, well I can knock it out if that’ll work. Can you get a team here for containment?” She asks.

“Enroute Supergirl.” Jonn says confidently over the comms. “ETA five minutes.”

Maggie can see Alex nodding to Kara, the agent moving into position to cover her sister as she gets ready to try and land a hit strong enough to take this thing down.

But it all happens so fast.

Kara speeds in after the alien swings at her heavily, her fist connecting firmly with the side of its face. But instead of falling or stumbling away, the alien manages to grab at Kara’s cape as she tries to back off to a safe distance. It pulls her in, wrapping a hand around her body and squeezing tightly, pulling a painful cry from Kara.

And before Maggie can even step in, Alex is already facing off with the creature, her sonic gun firing off shot after shot at its face.

It rears back angrily, tossing Kara to the ground with a crack of the pavement as it turns it sights on Alex. The agent draws it away from her sister as her eyes find Maggie amongst the panic.

“See if she’s okay!” Alex yells out to her, still firing shots that don’t make much of a dent in the aliens advance.

And Maggie is torn, wanting to make sure Alex will be okay while seeing that Kara isn’t moving, face down on the broken pavement.

“Maggie, go!” Alex yells again, making the captains mind up for her.

So she makes a run for Kara, clambering down a couple feet into the crater the hero created with the impact. Maggie hauls Kara onto her back to check her breathing, scared that something could actually do this to a kryptonian.

Thankfully Kara's chest rises and falls evenly, eyes fluttering open at Maggie’s touch.

“You okay?” Maggie asks, urging Kara to stay down when she tries to stand up.

“Gotta get it... hit harder.” Kara mumbles out, collapsing back into the pavement as she tries to get on her feet.

The slurred speech worries Maggie a little, her eyes combing over Kara’s suit to try and find any injuries hidden under the steel.

But her checking is interrupted by a loud screech, the alien tossing it’s arm into a building down the street as it roars loudly.

And that’s when Maggie feels it, her breath ripping out of her lungs as she realises the change.

The heartbeat at her wrist is really slow, barely registering to her even as she concentrates on it. Alex’s heart should be racing right now, in the middle of a fight...

Maggie looks towards the alien, struggling to see anything around it with the orange street lighting that flickers like a horror film. And without the strong beating sensation at her wrist right now, Maggie feels like she's in a horror as she tries to keep herself together, the fear and adrenalin mixing like a bad cocktail.

DEO sirens blare loudly as trucks swerve around the corner, screeching to a halt as Jonn lands beside Maggie in his Martian form.

“Where’s Alex?” He questions as medics swarm over Kara with sun lamps and equipment.

Maggie points towards the alien currently being cornered by agents, all firing sonic guns and tranquilizer darts at the huge creature until it crumples to the floor.

The pulsing from Maggie's bracelet is barely there now, only coming through every few seconds.

And she knows she has to find Alex. So Maggie barely notices when Jonn runs after her as she heads towards the building where the alien and Alex were fighting, eyes scanning the rubble and floating dust helplessly for her wife.

“Alex!” Maggie calls, the fear spilling out in tears and desperate chokes for air. “Alex, where are you?!”

Winn talks over the comms, everyone moving into action at what he says.

“Her beacon indicates she’s in a closed space, under the rubble or something. The suit is unresponsive, I can’t activate the override to get her out.” He explains.

Maggie can’t control her body as she rushes forward and starts digging desperately through the broken glass and concrete. Her hands sting, knuckles grazing against the rough debris as Jonn lifts massive blocks and steel beams out of the way.

And Maggie can feel Alex’s heart beat the whole time, the rhythm nothing like the normal tempo Maggie has grown used to.

But she doesn’t stop digging, the blood from cuts on her hands staining every rock she moves, she has to get to Alex. So she keeps going and going, until a dusty piece of Alex’s suit brushes against her fingers.

“Over here!” Maggie yells, Jonn rushing over and shifting the partially collapsed wall pinning Alex to the dirt.

But the sight only gets worse the more of Alex that Maggie uncovers.

The suit had activated it’s face shield, the glass fractured and broken in, the image of Alex’s bloodied face wrenching at Maggie’s chest hopelessly as tears stain her face. Her arm lies at an angle Maggie knows isn’t right and as Jonn lifts away a section of rock, blood pours out of Alex’s abdomen in a deep red gush.

Maggie moves quickly to put pressure on the wound, sick to her stomach at the feeling of the blood slipping through her fingers. And Alex writhes at the pain Maggie’s touch causes, her eyes flitting open in a state of half consciousness as she breathes shallowly.

“Medic!” Jonn orders over his shoulder, shifting back to his human form. But the medical team is busy with Kara, the hero lying unconscious in the middle of the road amongst burning cars and crumbling buildings. Maggie vaguely hears someone yelling that they need a minute or so to make sure Kara isn’t injured.

And Maggie knows Alex would order that Kara comes first, she knows that choosing between her sister and her wife isn’t a choice she could make. So she just focuses on trying to help Alex until the medical team can get here.

Jonn kneels down opposite Maggie, his hands covering her own as they both lean over Alex.

“You have to press harder.” He says shakily. “I can’t take over from you, if she loses too much blood she won’t make it, okay? I have to get a pressure bandage across her thigh.”

Maggie glances down Alex’s body, the agents right leg letting blood seep into a small pool beneath her mangled suit. And Maggie knows it's bad, the facts running through her head.

But Alex is half awake, hands clenching and breath catching in agony every time Maggie so much as moves her fingers accidentally.

“I can’t...” Maggie chokes out, trying to get air into her lungs as the beating from her bracelet slows even further.

“You have to.” Jonn urges faintly, ripping at the fabric of his uniform and positioning it over Alex’s leg.

And Maggie has to stifle a scream at the way Alex jerks violently, her eyes rolling back as she slumps back down when Jonn starts pulling tightly, wrapping the fabric and twisting it over and over the wound.

Maggie sobs over Alex, her hands unsteady as they falter in doing what she knows she has to do in order for her wife to stand a chance at beating this.

But Alex’s hand is suddenly touching her knee gently, finger tapping as weakly as the heartbeat Maggie feels from her bracelet.

“It- it’s...s'okay.” Alex slurs out, barely able to look up at Maggie.

“Ju-" Maggie stammers, breathing deep to get her voice to work. “Just hold on okay?” She begs more than asks her wife. “Alex?”

“Mags...” Alex tries, her eyes battling to focus, fighting to stay open. “I... I lov-"

“No.” Maggie cuts her off. “Not here, not now, you hear me?” Maggie demands, struggling to keep her voice level as Alex’s blood keeps running like warm water through her fingers. “Tell me later." She implores shakily. "You can tell me later when we're lying in a shitty DEO bed, wishing we were home in ours. But not now. I need you to hold on now, okay?”

And Maggie can feel Alex’s breath catching in her chest against her palms, the agent nodding the smallest amount.

“Okay.” She mumbles out, even as her eyes close limply.

Hearing the way Alex is slipping away, how her face gets paler with every second that passes by, sparks a fire in Maggie that she can feel coursing through her entire body, pushing her to do what she has to do to save the girl she loves.

“I’m sorry.” Maggie whimpers out brokenly, hoping Alex can still hear her.

And Maggie leans forward, putting as much weight onto her hands as possible to cover the gash in Alex’s stomach.

She doesn't know if she should be grateful or worried when it gets no reaction from Alex, the agent lying as motionless as the rubble beneath Maggie’s knees.

But she just keeps pressing down, closing her eyes tightly and forcing herself to focus on the faint beating at her wrist, Alex is alive, she's alive, the bracelet proving it every few seconds.

“I’m going to get the medics.” Jonn says, sounding distant compared to the loud thumping in Maggie’s head as she tries to focus. Telling herself to just keep it together, just keep pressing down.

Maggie doesn’t know how long she stays like that, but after what feels like hours she’s shoved a little harshly to the side, a medics hands replacing her own as they slide Alex onto a gurney.

Everything is like a blur, the sirens from both the DEO trucks and police cars that turned up at some point, casting an eerie light onto the destruction. The alien is being muscled into a truck with Kara’s help and Maggie feels a little spark of elation that the hero is okay.

But any feeling of relief is short lived, her mind snapping back to Alex as the medical team start yelling and wheeling her over to a van.

“Alex?” Maggie tries to go with her, her legs shaky as they try to move, her voice catching with tears.

But she's pushed back by the medics.

“No space, come in the follow car.” One of them instructs, his hand pushing her back from van.

“Alex.” Maggie simply says, trying to get past to be with her wife, fixated on her even as they close the door. “Alex!”

She watches as the van speeds off in tyre smoke, her feet glued to the pavement in shock. And Maggie can feel her hands shaking, feel her breathing get faster and faster as images of Alex’s face flash across her vision. She’s losing it, Maggie knows she is, but she can’t stop it.

“Maggie.” Kara says scratchily, grabbing her gently by the shoulders.

The familiar voice gets through and Maggie finds herself gasping as she collapses into Kara, everything hitting her all at once now that the adrenalin has worn off a little.

“She's- I don't kno- I should hav-" Maggie chokes out, hearing herself not making much sense but somehow knowing Kara will understand.

“Not your fault." Kara whsipers brokenly. "Come on, we’ll meet them there.” she says simply, looking like she's in more shock than Maggie was a few moments ago.

But Kara still opens her arms to scoop Maggie up, lifting off the pavement without the usual flair or enthusiasm as they head for the DEO building, the wind stinging at Maggie’s eyes. She doesn’t notice the city lights, doesn’t feel the same happiness she did a year ago at the way they shine across the buildings.

They stumble a little when Kara lands on the balcony, the hero ending up leaning on Maggie as they head inside. Jonn lands a few seconds later, morphing back onto his human form to help Maggie sit Kara down at Winn’s console. The hero leans over, bracing her head in her hands as she pulls harsh breaths into her lungs, Winn kneeling down to put a reassuring hand on her knee.

The med bay is busy with doctors and nurses all weaving between each other and no sooner has Maggie noticed them when the elevators roll open and chaos erupts as the medical team arrives, moving upstairs with Alex using the small cargo lift on the other side of the room.

There’s so much yelling and Maggie finds herself making for the stairs, Kara hot on her heels as they both try to get to Alex.

“You can’t go in. Please stay here.” A masked nurse tells them, carefully raising his hands up to try and calm Maggie and Kara down.

“I have to be with her.” Maggie tries to argue.

She can see them ripping Alex’s suit off in chunks, her helmet clattering to the floor to reveal her bloodied face and neck as one of her arms hangs limply off the operating table. Maggie tries to shove past again, stammering incomprehensibly as tears roll down her face.

“The doctors need space and concentration, please.” He pleads, knowing there’s not much he can do against Agent Danvers wife and her kryptonian sister, besides ask nicely.

And somewhere in the back of Maggies head she knows he’s right, so she ends up nodding and moving back to the balcony above the control room, Kara following suit.

She sinks to the floor as she watches them draw white sheets across the glass walls, shielding Alex from her view. But Maggie can still feel the beat of Alex’s heart against her wrist, clinging the bracelet close to her chest as she leans her back brokenly against the steel railings.

Kara sits down beside her, the metal super suit clinking a little as it makes contact with the steel floor.

Maggie can see Kara listening intently, ear turned to the med bay just ahead.

“She’s okay.” Maggie mumbles out, repeating it like a prayer until she can believe it’s true. It has to be true. “She’s going to be okay.”

Kara just grabs her hand, the pain of her grip providing a good distraction for Maggie as she waits, relying solely on the bracelet on her arm to tell her that her entire world is still alive right now. And it does, the beating slow but consistent, keeping Maggie locked in a state of debilitation.

And after a while people start turning up. First Jonn and Winn who sit on Maggie’s other side quietly. Then Lena, who squeezes in between Kara and Maggie’s legs. The former Luthor turned Danvers rifles through her bag and pulls out a first aid kit, wrapping Maggie’s hands up roughly to stop the bleeding after pulling out bits of glass and concrete. But ultimately Lena ends up with Kara’s head in her lap, running a hand through her wife’s hair while her other grips tightly around Maggie’s shoulders when they start shaking with silent tears. James brings pallets of coffee with him a little while later, the steam going cold long before any one makes a move to drink any.

Everyone just sits on the balcony floor, watching Maggie and Kara for any sign of how Alex is doing. But nothing has changed after almost half an hour, her heartbeat still barely registering. Kara has taken to tapping it out onto the floor, her finger moving precisely with every small pulse Maggie feels come through.

Until it jumps suddenly, strong like Maggie recognizes. And Maggie feels a jolt of elation, a relieved gasp escaping her as she turns to Kara who sits up from Lena's lap, the same look of relief in her eyes. The faces of their friends all relax a little at their reactions, shoulders sagging in release.

So when that all changes, when Maggie realises...

There’s no beat on her wrist, the bracelet isn’t beating anymore.

But it must just be a glitch, it can’t be...

And it’s when she sees that Kara looks like she's had a hole ripped into her chest, her finger no longer tapping out a rhythm that Maggie is suddenly on her feet.

“Alex! Al-" She screams, choking on her wife’s name as she tries to get through the med bay doors.

She yanks at the locked handle, the glass warping and groaning as it denies her access.

“Alex!” She’s just yelling, the tears streaming down her face as the bracelet on her wrist remains quiet.

And then Kara is there, pulling Maggie from the door and into her arms as she screams out for Alex over and over again. Maggie tries breaking free of the embrace, arms and fists pushing at Kara’s chest to get back to the door, rip it from its hinges and get to Alex.

But Kara just holds her, crying into Maggie’s shoulder as she refuses to let go.

“Mag-gie you ca-" Kara chokes out, her arms closing a little tighter when Maggie screams again.

“Alex! No, I have to! Alex!” Maggie yells hopelessly, realising that Kara isn’t going to let her go.

She breaks down, her knees sinking to the floor even as Kara holds her close. Maggie gives up and just buries her hands into Kara’s cape, sobbing uncontrollably as she keeps the hero close.

“Can’t g- go in.” Kara whimpers out past her own tears, rocking Maggie back and forth as they sit crumbled on the floor, holding onto each other like it’s their only lifeline. “Let th- them do thei- their job.”

Maggie chokes on Kara’s words, feeling hopeless with nothing and no one telling her Alex is okay. The bracelet on her wrist suddenly feels very claustrophobic, it’s eerie lack of motion clawing at Maggie’s heart with every second that goes by.

She cant do anything besides cry into the material of Kara’s supersuit, once again clutching the piece of metal Alex gave her exactly a year ago against her heart as she sobs.

“Please.” She begs, hoping something will hear her. “I can't lose her. Please, I can’t. I can’t, I cant, plea-" she chokes up.

Kara whimpers into her ear and Maggie huddles closer into her sister, fingers going white from gripping the bracelet so tightly.

“Please.” She whispers...

 

_To be continued._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't yell at me please hahaha I'm writing the rest, I'll post it asap.  
> But let me know what ya think in the meantime :)


	5. 16th Anniversary: Part 2

Sixty seven seconds. It feels like an hour, but it’s only sixty seven seconds of Maggie’s life.

Just over a minute is all it took to tear her apart.

Because she’s crying, holding onto Kara with every ounce of strength she has left as her whole world lies out of reach only a few feet away.

And the seconds pass as she screams for Alex, as Kara pulls her away from the door and into her arms. Still Maggie screams and calls out, begging that this won’t be the end. It can’t be the end.

Forever hasn’t even begun. And Alex promised her more than that, so she can’t be gone...

Maggie cries with Kara on the floor, incapable of doing anything else.

Forever with Alex could never be enough. And without her it’s too much for Maggie to endure.

Sixty seven seconds.

Until....

_Thump....Thump....Thump_

Maggie can feel the beating on her wrist as if it were her own, as if her ribs could feel it beneath the surface. And she can’t breath with the feeling that bursts in her chest, elation and relief and fear all mixing into something Maggie can’t begin to describe.

Kara chokes out a sob, the hero crying freely with her sisters heartbeat echoing in her ears again.

“She’s still here.” Kara whispers, gasping in a breath and moving a reassuring hand over Maggie's back.

And suddenly there’s four more people joining the crying huddle that Kara and Maggie have become on the floor in front of the med bay. Jonn, Winn, James and Lena all cry with them, shoulders shaking as they hold each other tightly and wait once again.

Past the railings, Maggie can see downstairs to the control room, the small space packed with uniformed agents all staring up at them anxiously, the room unusually quiet.

Everyone waits.

Maggie just concentrates on Alex, on feeling the proof that she's alive over and over again, the rhythm beating out against her wrist becoming a mantra in her head.

It gets stronger as another hour passes, almost normal after two. Maggie's eyes run dry, nothing left in her to cry with. She’s contemplating trying to get through the med bay doors again when a doctor finally slips out from behind the curtain, his eyes scanning the group huddled on the floor without much surprise.

His short and dark hair is a little messy, eyes wide and intensely focused above the surgical mask covering his lower face.

“Dr Wells.” Jonn acknowledges with a polite nod.

“Sir.” He responds in kind, voice muffled a little by his surgical mask.

Maggie clambers to her feet as he tugs it off his face talk.

“She'll be okay. We stopped the internal bleeding after some implications and stitched her leg up. But she lost a lot of blood and has a nasty concussion, so it’ll be a while before she wakes up.” He explains.

"What happened?" Kara asks, her voice wavering a little, even with Lena's arm around her waist in support.

Dr Wells looks over the group, clearly understanding that everyone knows, but has to hear it anyway.

"There was significant trauma to the abdomen and thoracic wall." He explains as evenly as possible, his tone begging everyone to stay calm. But he clarifies further, re-wording himself at the lack of understanding amongst the group, except Lena who clamps a hand over her mouth to stifle a sob as she holds Kara tightly to her side.

"Internal bleeding in the abdominal area is life threatening alone. In this case it came along with substantial bruising and tissue damage to the protective layer above the chest cavity, as well as three broken ribs. We began operating and unfortunately Agent Danvers' injuries led her to become susceptible to a sudden cardiac arrest." He says calmy. And Maggie can feel her hands shake, legs get weak. But Dr Wells is calm.

"It's a circumstance we had foreseen and we were able to shock her heart back into a normal rhythm long before any permanent damage could be done." Dr Wells assures gently.

But everyone looks like they have to throw up, the colour draining from their faces at the confirmation of Alex actually dieing in there.

“Can we see her?” Maggie questions numbly.

He shakes his head remorsefully. “She’s still in critical condition and we'll move her down to ICU shortly, I wouldn’t advi-"

“Medical protocols aside, in your opinion would two people joining her in ICU pose any risk?” Jonn asks as he glances over Kara and Maggie, the tone of his voice bordering on giving an order. But Maggie knows that if there’s any chance of Alex getting worse with anyone around, then she's staying right here.

Dr Wells shuffles a little on his feet before nodding to himself. “I’ll stay on call until the morning if something happens. But no sir, there shouldn’t be a problem with two people staying with Agent Danvers.” He confirms. “We'll move her to ICU in about a half hour, you can see her then.”

Maggie nods, grabbing at Dr Wells hand and thanking him with a bunch of mumbled words before he heads off down the stairs.

Jonn, Winn and James all head down as well, each hugging Maggie and Kara before they do, each mumbling words of reassurance into Maggie’s ear that she doesn’t really hear past her own thoughts speeding around in her head.

But knowing that Alex is okay is like a weight has come off Maggie’s chest, like she can breathe a little easier now. She closes her eyes and feels the beating on her wrist, breathing out a silent thank you to whatever heard her earlier.

She almost doesn’t feel the gentle tug on her sleeve, opening her eyes to see Kara and Lena in front of her.

“We're going down to the locker room before Alex gets out.” Lena says gently, her arm over Kara’s hunched shoulders.

The hero still hasn’t let go of Maggie’s sleeve, her gaze set firmly on the floor.

“You should come.” Lena urges quietly.

Maggie is about to argue, say that she should wait for Alex, until she realises why Lena says that. Because looking at Kara, she's taken back by the blood smeared over the front of her blue suit, her cape streaked just noticeably with it as well. And Maggie vaguely remembers trying to push past Kara to get into the med bay, remembers collapsing and clinging at her cape. There’s blood arcing angrily all over the balcony floor, on the rails Maggie used to pull herself up.

And when Maggie looks down, her hands crack with dry blood and dust. Her white shirt, one she wore because Alex liked it, is stained like a crime scene that will never be clean again. And the sight makes Maggie’s stomach lurch up into her throat. Her legs feel like they're going to give out and let her fall back to the floor.

But Kara suddenly let’s go of her sleeve, grabbing Maggie’s hand instead and tugging the captain into her side, looping an arm around Maggie’s own to keep her anchored. And with Lena’s help, the pair head downstairs to the locker room.

All the agents still waiting in the control room clear a path, heads bowing respectfully as Lena leads them through the crowd and down a badly lit hallway.

The locker room hasn’t changed all that much in all the years Maggie has seen it, maybe new paint or tiles at some point, but she can’t remember.

Lena leads them over to the shower cubicles, gently pointing first Kara and then Maggie in the right direction when neither of them do anything besides stand, arms still linked between them as if it’s a habit.

“I’ll grab some towels and clothes, take your time.” Lena says quietly, kissing Kara on the cheek and giving Maggie’s arm a squeeze before she goes looking for everything.

And with only Kara here, Maggie just wants to cry again, wants to pull her bracelet close and give into the desire to completely exist inside the soft beating it mimics. But there’s just nothing left, like every cell in her body has no water to spare to even let a single tear go.

Kara appears to be the same.

So they just stand, they just breathe in and out.

Maggie eventually manages to pull herself out of that corner in her mind, the thought that she needs to get done here so she can go and see Alex dawning on her.

But Kara is still trapped, eyes unfocused and weak as she hangs her head.

“Come on, let me help.” Maggie urges, hands moving to Kara’s shoulders to turn the hero to face her.

The motion seems to get Kara’s attention, her head shaking a little as if she’s trying to clear it.

“Let me get this.” Maggie offers, battling with the clips that hold Kara’s cape on until they snap open and the material falls deftly to the floor around the hero’s feet.

Kara’s arms come up to hug herself, the hero looking so small with her hunched shoulders and no billowing fabric to fake a larger presence behind her.

“You okay to get the rest off?” Maggie questions, eyeing up the broken super crest on Kara’s chest and assuming the automated functions like activation and removal won’t work anymore.

She gets a nod in return, but Maggie isn't comfortable letting Kara out of her sight, even just next door in the shower over from hers. Not when she’s like this, when she can’t be out of her head enough to answer out loud.

“Kara? Are you okay to get your suit off?” Maggie asks again, a little more volume in her voice to try and shake the youngest Danvers out of it.

It seems to work, Kara nodding again as she looks directly back at Maggie.

“Yeah... yeah I uh.. I got it, sorry.” Kara mumbles tiredly, her feet moving to carry her into the shower cubicle. But Maggie grabs her hand before the door closes.

“She’s okay.” Maggie assures as calmly as she can manage right now, her hands shaking again as the images of Alex lying in the rubble flash over her eyes, even with her bracelet proving her words with every beat it taps out.

“She’s okay.” Kara confirms as she makes a point of squeezing Maggie’s hand, nodding her head reassuringly before letting go and allowing the cubicle door to close.

Maggie waits until she can hear water running, the steam from the water hits the ceiling and clouds above her head, she waits until she’s sure Kara is alright to move into the shower next door.

There's a small changing section of the cubicle, a bench and hook screwed onto the side wall. And Maggie tugs blindly at the buttons on her shirt, trying to avoid looking down as much as possible, feeling nothing short of relieved when she finally tugs it from her skin and tosses it under the bench. Her jeans follow the same process, followed by her bra and underwear, before Maggie shuffles under the shower head.

She works hard to control her breathing when she sees all the red clinging to her stomach and legs, Alex's blood having seeped through the fabric of her clothes. But her hands still fumble a few times before managing to turn the water on, the sudden heat making her muscles tense instinctively before relaxing.

Maggie let’s her head lean against the wall, the hot water running through her hair like a poor substitute for Alex’s fingers. She finds herself concentrating on the bracelet again, a little disbelieving of how much she's come to rely on the device. She can feel her own heart trying to beat in sync with the mimicking of Alex’s at her wrist, the sensation becoming a little overwhelming.

So Maggie forces her eyes to follow the swirls of red water as they snake down the drain, watching until they run clear and Maggie feels like it safe enough to look down over her own body without seeing evidence of her wife dying stained on her skin.

But she still feels dirty, her hands still stiff with the feeling of blood hiding in their lines. So Maggie finds herself pushing deftly at the soap dispenser on the wall, the purple liquid pooling in her hand until it’s overflowing. And she throws it roughly over herself, hands scrubbing a little harshly at any skin she can reach until it turns red and angry at the abuse. But Maggie doesn’t stop, determined to feel like she's stripped it all away, to feel like she's hit a new layer beneath that which has been exposed to the last few hours.

And eventually there’s a soft knock at the door.

“Maggie, she’s waiting upstairs.” Lena calls out gently, a towel and clothes sliding under the cubicle door.

And the realisation that she can go and see Alex sparks a sudden change in Maggie’s demeanour, her hands confident in their movements to turn the water off, to run the towel roughly over her body. The black DEO sweat pants and training shirt hang loosely from Maggie’s hips and shoulders when she pulls them on, but Maggie is grateful for the socks Lena also managed to find, not really a fan of the cold industrial floors of this building.

She wraps her hair tightly in a towel, squeezing it roughly as she leaves the cubicle to dry it off as much as possible.

Lena already has Kara dressed in matching DEO gear, her hands drying off the hero’s hair with a towel much like Maggie is her own.

“Here.” Lena says gently, putting her hand out for Maggie’s towel once she's stopped her wife's hair from dripping water to the floor.

Maggie hands it over, shuffling over to Kara as Lena goes to put their towels and clothes in the laundry basket in the corner.

Kara is looking at the floor again, hair hanging in damp curls. And Maggie is about to try and reassure her that everything is okay, until she notices the way Kara is tilting her head, ear slightly upturned to the ceiling. Maggie realises Kara is listening for Alex through all these walls, the hero not privy to the same sensation Maggie is afforded on her wrist right now; strong and steady, one beat after another.

So Maggie just grabs her sisters hand, hopefully letting Kara know that she’s here. If Maggie’s being honest, the contact calms her a little as well, her subconscious silently craving to have something to hold on to.

“Let's go.” Lena whispers, placing her hands gently against Maggie and Kara’s backs and urging the pair back out towards the control room.

Most of the agents there have taken to working again, the consoles all beeping steadily as they walk past. But Maggie still notices the worried looks and sympathetic glances they get from pretty much everyone. Years ago she would have felt uncomfortable with that, but Maggie knows now how much Alex means to a lot of people, how much anyone in this building means to everyone else. So she doesn't feel like all the eyes on her are judging, they're just looking for any sign that there's something they can do to help.

Winn is standing at the bottom of the stairs, James and Jonn each with an arm around his shoulders as he cries into the sleeves of his cardigan. And seeing him like this break a Maggie’s heart more than she can handle tonight, so she stops for a moment in front of him.

Everyone eyes her curiously when she moves her fingers to start pulling her bracelet off, the sudden lack of Alex’s heartbeat against her wrist freaking Maggie out for a second before she calms herself and reaches for Winn’s hand.

“Look after this for me.” She whispers, pushing the metal onto Winn’s arm, watching it warp and fit him perfectly, the light on the top blinking with every beat Maggie knows Winn can now feel.

He sobs in relief, pulling Maggie into a hug with a force she didn’t know he was capable of.

“Thanks.” He breathes out, pulling back to let Maggie, Kara and Lena upstairs.

Jonn and James both reach for Maggie’s hand as she passes, squeezing gently.

“We're all here.” James says gently.

“I know.” Maggie whispers back as Kara nods numbly.

They trudge up the stairs, Lena having to help Kara up each step, which concerns Maggie a little.

“Are you okay?” She mumbles once they reach the balcony, someone thankfully having wiped the floor clean since them being here earlier.

Kara just nods weakly. But Lena looks over her wife nervously, the gesture making Maggie tug at the CEO's arm in question.

“You were right about Valecian’s being supposedly extinct.” Lena whispers, propping Kara against the wall for a moment as they wait for Dr Wells to let them in. “The one we have downstairs was kept on Daxam after the massacre on Valcore, as entertainment for their death matches. He came to earth with the invasion forces back in 2018.” She explains, looking over Kara again as the kryptonian scoffs in disapproval.

“So he was there when krypton exploded?” Maggie questions, receiving a nod from Lena in return. And the pieces all start clicking, Maggie remembering how Monel’s family could match Kara in strength because of the implications caused on Daxam when krypton died.

“He’s got kryptonite in his system.” Maggie reasons, her gut wrenching as Lena looks to a slumping Kara as confirmation.

“We got lucky.” Lena says brokenly. “We almost lost them both.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” Kara mumbles out, pulling Lena and Maggie into a hug. “Alex is going nowhere. We’re all just gonna stay here... and sleep.”

Maggie moves to help Lena lift Kara off the wall, each with and arm around her waist to lift the dense hero as she tries to stagger along with them tiredly. 

Dr Wells comes out of the med bay a few seconds later, motioning them inside as he steps out.

“It looks worse than it is. Her right side took the most damage, mainly her leg and a dislocated shoulder, so just be careful. She’ll be out until morning so try and get some rest.” He says gently.

“Thanks.” Maggie offers back.

The lights are off inside the med bay, a soft light cast over Alex’s bed by the EKG machine that has a green line bouncing up and down across the screen. Maggie is too scared to flip the main switch, knowing she probably can’t handle seeing Alex right now. And she wants to be here, wants to hear Alex breathing. So she leaves the lights off.

Her and Lena manage to get Kara into a recliner next to the double hospital bed (the medical team had taken to pushing two beds together whenever Alex or Maggie got hurt after a while, knowing that one would always want to lie beside the other.) And Lena tosses a blanket over the hero, urging her to sleep.

It doesn’t take long for Kara’s soft breathing to fill the room along with her sisters, the beat down from a kryptonite fuelled alien having taken it’s toll.

“You gonna be okay here?” Lena asks.

Maggie nods, even though she still hasn’t made an effort to actually look at Alex yet.  
Lena moves around the room briefly, coming back to Maggie and holding out a paper cup.

“This will help you sleep.” She says, eyes motioning down for Maggie to take the drink.

“I don’t think th-" Maggie tries, Lena stopping her with a raised hand.

“Tomorrow will be worse, there’s going to be days of recovery, physical and in here.” Lena explains, a finger coming up to tap at Maggie’s forehead gently. “There’s nothing to do now, you need to rest."

Maggie can’t argue with the look Lena gives her, the stern yet affectionate way her eyes demand that she takes the cup. So Maggie does, downing it quickly and passing the cup back to Lena, who just let’s out a relieved sigh. Her heels click softly on the floor as she heads over to Kara, placing a kiss on her forehead and fixing the blanket over her shoulders before turning for the door.

“We're just downstairs if you need us.” Lena assures gently.

Maggie hugs her appreciatively, pulling back after a bit to let Lena go join the others.

And so Maggie stands, shuffling her feet a little at the foot of Alex’s bed. She cant see much besides her wife’s short hair fanning messily over the pillow, her right arm in a black sling sitting on top of the blanket as she lies on her back. Maggie cant help but think that Alex hates sleeping on her back.

She stays there a while, watching Alex’s chest rise and fall slowly, her left cheek pressed into the pillow stretching her neck out in a way that makes all the tendons stand out every time her lungs pull in air. And seeing Alex like this fills Maggie with so much tension, like her ribcage is closing in around her organs making it hard to breath.

Somehow, even though Maggie thought it wasn’t possible at this point in the night, her eyes start stinging with tears. They roll down her cheeks quietly as Maggie just watches, follows the motion of Alex’s breathing.

And she's been here before, stood in this very room and watched, waited for Alex to look back at her with a sleepy smile and tell her it’s all okay. There have been close calls in their dozens, all shrugged off for the next days problems. But this time is different. Maggie knows that if Alex were to say those words to her now, promise that it’s all fine, she wouldn’t believe it. Because it went too far this time. She lost Alex tonight. And no amount of assurances can ever change that fact.

But whatever Lena gave her is making Maggie sway on her feet, her body feeling heavy in a way that isn’t from being upset.

So Maggie shuffles to Alex’s left side, conscious of her wife’s right arm and leg being hurt. She climbs up onto the bed as carefully as possible, lying on her side to look over at Alex.

A strand of hair sits predictably across her wife’s face, resting gently on her nose and fluttering every time Alex breathes out. So Maggie finds herself being drawn in closer, slowly shifting her body until it touches Alex’s side slightly. And she lifts a hand to push the hair back behind Alex’s ear, weeping a little more at the cuts it reveals across her face.

Maggie breathes slowly to calm herself, letting her thumb run softly over the gash that’s been stitched up over Alex’s eyebrow.

But she ultimately gives in to the urge to move her hand down onto her wife’s chest, resting lightly by her collarbone, Maggie carefully avoiding broken ribs to feel Alex's heart beating against her palm.

Her eye’s are getting heavy, wanting to keep looking at Alex in case her eyes open to look back. But feeling Alex’s heartbeat again, feeling the agents soft breaths against her skin, the way it moves easily past her lips, is intoxicating. It draws Maggie down, her heart relaxing in her chest as it recognizes its other half beating beneath Maggie's palm.

“I still need you.” Maggie whispers sleepily. “I know we say forever isn’t enough, but I also know that we’re human. This life were in now, it can’t last forever.” She admits. And Maggie does know this, she’s known it from the beginning. Nothing lasts forever, at least not in the same way as they have it now.

“But I know there’s more.” Maggie continues. “After this, when what we’ve got now is over, I know there's more waiting for us. I really do believe we have longer than forever Alex." She assures, shifting the arm under her side at the moment to let her free hand move down her wife's side to intertwine their fingers together.

"And I’ve never seen heaven, never found it in a book or a belief, but I know it exists. Because someone like you could never come from anywhere else.” Maggie manages to murmur out past the heavy sleep starting to settle over her. And she can't help being scared that Alex won't be here when she wakes up, terrified that she won't get to tell her any of this in the morning. “I still need you." She repeats. "I'm not ready to go through the rest of this life without you. I'm not ready to let you go. So please stay with me.”

Maggie can’t fight off the sleep much longer, the urge to give in to the feeling of having Alex so close becoming insurmountable. She can't help but let her eyes drift shut.

“I love you.” Maggie whispers as she lets sleep pull her under.

 

_To be Continued_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #lesbianlives is the mantra in this house :) Sanvers Forever ❤
> 
> Also is anyone else on edge with sdcc right now??? Like chyler saying she's working hard to do justice to the end of sanvers kind of hurts. And I adore chyler, but I don't think that's really possible with a character like Maggie being treated that way. Especially knowing it happens in real life, to people who looked to Maggie's character as a chance to define their own lives.  
> I really love sanvers and much like a lot of people they helped me feel that no matter how bad things seem, something beautiful could be the result of it all. But it's hard to write these characters, focusing on their feelings for each other without feeling a little heartbroken at the way it really happened.  
> Basically I'm just saying I might take a week or two after finishing this fic to get rid of all the angstiness and then come back and do some more happy stories, the ones we deserved to see.  
> But thanks for reading and all the kudos and comments (I love hearing what you guys have to say and think about my stuff, and your experiences in general :D ) It always means a lot to know we aren't alone in life.  
> Part three will be up asap, probably by next weekend so be sure to check in for some cute, fluffy and real talk moments :) x


	6. 16th Anniversary: Final chapter

At first Alex thinks she’s at home, the feeling of Maggie’s hand on her chest making her stomach flutter gently. But when she tries rolling over onto her side to pull her wife in closer, Alex gasps at the pain that shoots through her body, lettting her back slump down into the bed again.

She forces her eye’s to blink open, the dark corners of the DEO med bay filling her vision. Her arm is wrapped tightly in a sling, the way it lies across her stomach pushing down a little painfully on the stitches Alex can feel pulling at her skin there. And she remembers some things, Kara screaming, flashes of crumbling rock and Maggie’s voice telling her to hold on.

But thinking, trying to remember more just hurts, like sending knives through her brain as she stares up at the ceiling. Everything hurts like that, from her leg all the way up the right side of her body until it reaches the dull throbbing in her temples. And Alex knows she’s on medication, she can feel it chipping away at some of the sensation in her fingers and toes, but it doesn’t do anything for the way her heart aches at how tightly Maggie is clinging to her left hand.

There isn't much light in the room, most of it slipping past the curtains blocking out the balcony behind the med bay doors. But Alex turns the side of her face back into the pillow to look over at Maggie nonetheless. Her wife’s face looks tired in this light, a little broken around her closed eyes, like she's been crying. And Alex can’t help the tears that escape down her face at the way Maggie’s hand tenses a little over her collarbone when her breath hitches at the sight.

Because Alex can see the panic spread over her wife’s sleeping face for a moment, before relaxing again when Alex forces herself to breathe a little slower. And she wants to be closer, always wants to be as close as she can to Maggie. So Alex nudges the captains forehead gently with her chin, smiling softly to herself when Maggie nuzzles into her neck in response. And it calms her, feeling her wife's breath land shakily against her skin every few seconds.

She can tell that Maggie's definitely had something to keep her sleeping and Alex is grateful for that. She knows how Maggie will put her own health aside when things like this happen, even if it’s not necessary. And Alex doesn’t hate that, not really. Because even though she wishes Maggie would be careful with herself just as much as she does with everyone else, Alex knows it’s a part of what makes Maggie who she is. And changing any part of such a beautiful person like Maggie, would never leave her the same.  
Never the less, Alex is glad that her wife is resting right now.

But Alex can tell that something is different tonight. They’ve spent a lot of time right here, bandaged up and broken under the bad flourescent lighting. But it’s always had a sense of relief about it, like they’d made it through and that was all that mattered. But looking at Maggie now, feeling how her body keens with every little movement that resembles Alex pulling away, she knows something is different.

So Alex runs her thumb over the back of Maggie’s palm as it clenches over her fingers, grateful when it seems to ease her sleep a little. But Alex's heart still buckles at the unconscious sigh her wife lets out at the touch, the release sounding like a breath Maggie’s been holding onto for hours.

There’s so much tension in her, everything about the way Maggie is lying, her back and arms stiff, screams that she’s on edge. So Alex carefully let’s go of Maggie’s hand, crying a little more when it moves to fist into her shirt in response, Maggie’s fingers shaking against Alex’s waist until she subconsciously realises her wife isn’t going anywhere. And it takes a little manoeuvring, a lot of small painful movements, but Alex eventually gets her arm under Maggie’s head, her hand moving to comb through her hair soothingly.

It’s so quiet as she watches Maggie sleep, her breathing getting calmer the more Alex runs her fingers through her hair, the agent comfortable with the pain so long as she has her wife next to her. But she’s still a little startled when a familiar voice whispers from the foot of her bed.

“How are you feeling?” Kara asks, her blue eyes looking over Alex softly as she picks up a chair to come and sit by Maggie's side of the bed, Alex looking at her now over her wife’s head.

“I'm okay.” She whispers out, looking over Kara’s face, seeing the worry and the defeat etched deep into her eyes as she stares intently back at Alex.

And something about the way Kara refuses to take her eyes off of her makes Alex a little uneasy. But she understands why.

“It was too close this time, wasn’t it?” Alex questions gently.

Her heart lurches at the way Kara’s hands fist into the cuffs of the black DEO sweater she has on, her sister unable to hold Alex’s gaze any longer as she lets her head fall into her hands.

“You...” Kara breathes, trying to find words to talk. And Alex waits, knowing Kara has to get it out.

It takes a few moments, Kara eventually sitting up and pulling her legs up onto the chair to hug them close to her chest for comfort.

“You were gone.” She whispers our fearfully. “I couldn’t hear you... I can always hear you when I try and listen. But I couldn't... I tried and I couldn’t find you...” Kara cries softly.

It tears at Alex, seeing her sister broken and upset. She can't handle seeing that look on both Maggie and Kara's faces.

And Alex just wants to bundle her two girls up, hold them close and say she’s okay, they’re okay. But she can't.

“Come here.” She urges, patting the bed behind Maggie before letting her hand resume it’s place in her wife’s hair.

And Kara doesn’t hesitate, floating a little so that she doesn’t jerk the bed too badly as she curls up next to Maggie, resting her head on a pillow so that she can look over the captains head and see her sister.

And they stay like that for a while, Alex rotating between letting her fingers run through Maggie’s hair and wiping at Kara’s tears until they dry up a little.

But eventually Alex’s heart is ready to talk. Her head isn’t really working with all the drugs and pain, but it’s opinion doesn’t matter all that much to Alex when it comes to her family.

“Before this... when I started this life, working for the DEO and with you, I knew...” She whispers, reaching out to hold Kara’s face gently at the confusion that shows in her eyes. She's never said any of this to her sister, but Alex knows she has to, so she continues.

“I’m going to die doing this job.” Alex admits quietly, hearing the way Kara chokes back tears at the words even as she presses on. “Because it’s never been a job, it’s my life. I want to help, I want to protect people... I want to try Kara.”

“You've done enough.” Kara assures insistently, a new wave of tears brimming in her eyes.

Alex sighs dejectedly, wishing it could be that simple. But it isn't.

“No one can ever do enough.” Alex reasons gently. “Bad things won’t ever stop, the same way good people won't ever give up. One will never exist without the other, it’s how it is.” She explains.

“You deserve more than being a shield for the world around you Alex. You deserve to be safe, to let other people have their turn at protecting it all.” Kara implores, reaching over Maggie to put a gentle hand on her sisters cheek.

“It doesn’t work that way.” Alex says quietly, sad at the way Kara’s eyes let on that she knows it’s the truth.

The hero looks away, like she needs a moment to herself to think about everything she's hearing. And Alex wishes there was something she could say to make this easier for them both. But nothing like this could ever be easy.

“You said ‘before this’.” Kara states after a while. “What does that mean?” She questions.

And Alex let’s her eyes fall down to Maggie, watching the way she breathes, the way her wife's dark hair moves between her fingers. And Alex can feel another truth burning beneath the surface, one she's been scared to face for so long.

“I know if something happened to me, that you would be okay.” Alex whispers across to Kara. “You have Lena and the rest of our family.”

“Maggie would never be alone.” Kara says firmly, catching onto Alex’s train of thought.

“I know.” Alex assures, her heart swelling at Kara’s protectiveness.

“But?” Kara questions softly, eyes a little nervous at what she might hear.

And Alex doesn't really know how to explain. She'd spent years putting Kara’s life, everyone’s life, above her own. And she doesn’t regret that, won't accept any notion that it was the wrong thing to do, because she doesn’t believe that.

But living like that, Alex knew that some day it would get her killed. And she was okay with that. Until she found someone who she just couldn’t think that way about. Until she found someone she would die for without question, but fight like hell to come home to every night.

“Alex?” Kara questions again, pulling her sister from the realisation in her own head.

“I can’t leave her Kara.” Alex whispers brokenly, instinctively pulling Maggie closer to her with any strength she has left. “I can’t go out there anymore knowing I might not come back to her. Even though I know she won’t be alone if I don’t. It’s not about her losing me, it’s about me not being able to let her go.” Alex cries out quietly, taking a few seconds to let her lungs move in and out without her voice getting in the way.

“I can’t handle dieing without living this life with her, I can’t. I want more with her, I need more.” Alex explains between tears. “More kisses and more smiles, more arguments late at night and more holding her close in the morning. I need her.”

And Alex is grateful when Kara runs gentle fingers over her cheeks, especially when she cries harder at the way Maggie’s hand that rests at her collarbone moves over her chest to hold her gently, even as she sleeps.

“So what do you want to do?” Kara asks gently, no judgement or persuasive tone in her voice, just support. And it makes Alex’s entire soul ache when she realises she can’t answer.

“I don’t know.” Alex whispers, her voice shaky as she tries to figure it all out. “I don’t know how to be both of these things, I can’t choose... I don’t know.” She admits sadly.

And she's expecting to hear Kara’s voice, expecting some kind of relief from whatever words her sister has to say. But that isn’t who speaks and makes it seem like the world is spinning the right way again.

“You don’t have to choose.” Maggie murmurs sleepily against her neck, shuffling back a bit to look up at Alex with sleepy eyes.

Kara smiles across at them gently, wiping at her face. “I’m gonna give you guys some space and check on Lena.” She explains, sitting up and shuffling off the bed.

“Talk later?” Alex questions gently as she watches Kara head for the door, happy at the small smile and nod she gets as a response before the hero leaves, the door sliding closed softly behind her.

Alex looks down to where Maggie is still staring back at her, eyes fighting themselves to stay open a little against whatever drugs she's been given.

“Maggi-"

“You don’t have to choose.” Maggie says again, cutting her off quietly.

Alex tries her best to blink back the tears so she can keep looking at her wife. "I don't know what to do." She cries out, shaking under the weight of all the thoughts bearing down on her right now.

But the hand Maggie has over Alex’s chest moves so that she can rest it along the agents jaw, wiping at her tears gently with her thumb.

“We'll figure it out, just like we always do.” Maggie whispers sincerely.

“How?” Alex questions hopelessly, not being able to find a solution with the mess her head is right now.

“There's always something. We'll talk to Lena and Winn, come up with a new suit. Or we figure out how to make you stronger, Cadmus managed it with Matello and there’s meta-humans like Barry everywhere.” Maggie figures off the top of her head. “I don’t know right now what were going to do Alex. But we’re okay, I promise we'll figure it out. Together.”

"What if it's not enough? What if something happens and I don't..." Alex can't finish, her heart breaking from just the thought of this happening again.

Maggie just shuffles closer, her eyes demanding that Alex focus on what she says.

"If it's not enough, then it isn't enough." Maggie reasons, her voice weighed down in sadness. "If you..." Her voice breaks and she has to take a moment to wipe her eyes. But Maggie eventually manages to calm down enough to continue.

"If one day you have to go, if everything we tried wasn't enough, then that's okay. Because you were doing something important, something that means everything to you." Maggie reasons, even though Alex can see the heartache in her wife's face. 

"You're everything." Alex says back gently.

"I know." Maggie assures with a soft smile. "And I'm going to be right here next to you, until the end of the line, wherever and whenever that ends up being." She promises. "I know exactly who you are Alex, I knew from the moment we met. And doing all of this with Kara, it's a part of you, not something you can give up. I never expected you to make a choice Alex. I accept everything you are, even if it means we might not get as much time here together as we thought."

Alex sobs as Maggie speaks, feeling like she's ripping apart at the seams as she tries to answer.

"I ca- can't leave, can't leave y- you." She repeats brokenly, seeing in Maggie's eyes that the pain she feels right now is shared.

But Maggie shakes her head softly. "After everything we've seen, the things we've experienced, I know there's more after this life Alex." She resolves quietly. "So you're never leaving me, there just might be a time where you'll have to wait for me to catch up. And the same goes for me, okay? If my time comes before yours, I want you to know I'll be waiting. Even a few years apart are nothing when we have more than forever." Maggie reasons. "And I'd wait an eternity for you Alex."

Maggie's words practically lift the weight of entire universe's off Alex's chest, her heart feeling like it's going to explode if it finds anymore love for this girl.

And Alex can’t help breaking down at the feeling of relief that spreads through her. Not because she doesn’t have to give up her job or because Maggie isn't angry at her for not being able to choose, but because she knows that whatever ends up happening, she won’t be alone. She won't lose Maggie.

“I love you.” Alex finally whispers, having kept her promise to tell Maggie later. “I love you so much Maggie. I'm sorry I scared you, I didn’t mea-"

Maggie cuts Alex off, leaning up slightly over her and pulling the agent into a soft kiss. And they’re both crying, so the gesture doesn’t last long before it’s reduced to them just leaning their foreheads against one another, trying to catch their breath.

“Stop apologizing, Kara is okay right now because of you, our family is okay. You did nothing wrong, you never do anything wrong Alex.” Maggie murmurs back, her fingers clinging at Alex’s hair slightly, brushing it back gently over the pillow beneath her head.

“But you're definitely gonna have to make up for wrecking your suit.” Maggie threatens light heartedly, the easy smile on her face letting Alex know that her wife wants her to relax a little.

But Alex is serious when she reaches up with her working arm, a hand bracing at the back of Maggie's neck to hold her steady as the former detective leans over her.

“I'll always wait for you too, okay?” Alex assures, hoping Maggie can understand how much she means those words.

But when Maggie tilts her head down and kisses her again, Alex feels deep in her heart that Maggie knows how loved she is and how much Maggie loves her back.

So even as she pulls away from Alez to run her fingers over the cuts and scrapes the agent can feel all over her face, Maggie moves with a certainty in her actions, her eyes telling Alex that she believes her, that they will always have each other, one way or another.

And forever may not be enough, but when Maggie says the three words she can’t live without, Alex is determined to make every second with this amazing girl count, until the moment comes when they can face eternity, together.

“I love you.” Maggie whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it, let me know what ya think, or if theres anything else you'd specifically like me to write.  
> I thought of a way to end this fic, but it's a little involved so will take some time to write. But definitley gonna be worth it so keep an eye out as I get more chapters up on this over the next couple weeks :) Tumblr is in my bio if ya wanna see that disaster or yell at me about the angst :D  
> Thank you for all the amazing comments on this, they really help get the writing out and it's really awesome to chat with like minded and awesome people ❤ :)


	7. 17th Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little supercorp based, I know mixing them with sanvers isn't everyone's favourite thing but it's needed for the overall story to follow on from this chapter, plus the more wlw in a fic the more I enjoy writing it so.. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait for the update, and forgive the terrible ideas of future tech :D  
> Proofread really quickly so let me know if any errors are hidden in there :)

“Kara, can you pass me the end of the streamer please?” Maggie calls out over her shoulder, careful not to lose her balance on the step ladder she’s standing on.

She smiles at Alex as the hero bounds over from the kitchen where the pair were talking, nearly going face first over the couch in her effort to come and help.

“Where am I putting it?” Kara asks, hovering off the floor to position the streamer above the balcony door.

“You can just stick it to the wall, it should hold.” Maggie replies, doing the same on her end once she’s happy it’s on straight.

The pair each find their way to the floor, Maggie via her step ladder and Kara via... well herself.

“Hey babe?” Alex calls from the kitchen a little nervously.

“Yeah.” Maggie responds, shuffling over to her wife, the smell of smoke filling her nose the closer she gets. It takes a second but Maggie’s head connects it to the oven, where an over crispy apple pie sits sadly.

Alex just looks at her guiltily. And damn, if it wasn’t so cute Maggie would probably find it in herself to be a little irritated. But it’s Alex, so all she ends up doing is smiling like an idiot, pulling her wife in for a kiss as she laughs at the little huff Alex lets out.

“Don't worry about it, I bought a spare one.” Maggie chuckles out.

“If I didn’t know any better I would say you were expecting this to happen.” Alex says with a smirk, wrapping her arms over Maggie's shoulders comfortably.

“I was expecting for Kara to want a whole one to herself.” Maggie jokes, smiling at the ‘fair enough’ shrug Alex does in response.

“Hey!” Kara says, feigning offence. “I need the carbs okay.”

“What you need is a-" Alex starts, cut off by a sudden boom, the entire apartment swaying a little at the force of the distant explosion.

Kara is at the balcony door in an instant, eyes looking out at the city.

“What the hell was that?” Maggie questions, herself and Alex coming up to stand at Kara’s side.

There’s smoke rising a few blocks away in the city centre, swirling around the Catco and L-Corp buildings.

And Maggie is about to start asking questions again, but Alex puts a finger to her lips, her eyes motioning to Kara who has her eyes closed right, ear turned to the city outside.

Her eye’s open, fear and worry clouding the hero’s features as she stares back at Alex and Maggie.

“Lena.” She chokes out, hands shaking at her sides.

But Alex snaps her out of it.

“Kara, go! We’ll meet you there.” She says, already grabbing the car keys with Maggie hot on her heels. But Kara is still standing, struggling to breathe.

“Go now!” Alex yells a little forcefully, the volume thankfully breaking Kara out of her trance, the hero launching out the window without even changing into her suit.

Maggie charges to the elevator behind Alex, the new gravity systems far faster than stairs these days. It only takes a few seconds until they’re in the parking garage.

The black DEO issue two door they clamber into isn’t all that different from the one they started out with, mainly fully rotational wheels that allow it to go around corners without actually turning and the deployable motorcycle that sits where the back seats would be.

Alex taps on the steering wheel, the automatic heads up display projecting onto the windshield as the car powers up at her command.

“DEO secure line.” Alex instructs, smashing the car into gear as the tyres scream and they speed out of the parking lot.

The line rings mechanically for a few seconds before Winn’s voice fills the car.

“I'm sending everything to the heads up.” He says immediately.

“I got It.” Maggie replies, leaning forward to swipe through all the images being displayed across the dashboard in front of her. “Is Kara on site?”

“She just got there.” Winn confirms. “We have a team enroute and police personnel clearing a path down the main intersection.”

“I’ll tell them to move units south and cover the extra blocks in case we’ve got a fight on our hands.” Maggie reasons, already sending out an alert using the heads up display in front of her.

The police units all respond fairly quickly to the now Commissioner’s request, Maggie watching on the display as they disperse civilians and traffic away from L-Corp, the smoke making the satellite imagery a little obscured.

“Winn, do we have any cameras at street level I can’t see much from the sat view. I wanna know what we’re going into.” Maggie calls over the line, checking briefly over Alex as she grips the steering wheel, knuckles white at the force.

“Coming through now.” Winn shoots back, live camera feeds streaming onto the display.

Maggie swipes through them until she finds one outside the main L-Corp entrance, employees all piling out through the smoke that seems to be coming from the basement.

“Go for the underground parking.” Maggie tells Alex, pushing the new route across to the display above the steering wheel. “Main entrance is evacuating and it looks like something happened down in the labs.”

“The security protocol would have sealed everything below the main parking level in case of an outbreak, how are we supposed to get in?” Alex questions, even as she throws the car laterally through a corner to follow Maggie’s instructions.

“I’m hoping Kara will have solved that for us already.” Maggie reasons, knowing a few steel and concrete doors don’t stand a chance against the kryptonian.

“If there’s damage below ground there’s a chance the building might be structurally damaged. We could be looking at a collapse.” Winn explains over the comms. “And Kara’s too far underground to get a signal to her earpiece.”

“What do we do?” Alex questions, eyes glancing with laser focus between the road and all the images flying across her display.

“I’m scanning the building now.” Winn responds, going silent for a moment as Maggie listens to him and Vasquez talking rapidly on the other end of the line.

“Okay it looks like a main column on the East corner has significant damage on sublevel 2. The other supports should hold, but not without repairing the damaged section.” He finally explains.

“East section? Lena’s private labs are in the Eastern corner, one of the sublevels.” Alex fills in, the determination on her face only increasing at the added information.

“Yeah she’s on 3, the broken column is above her on 2.” Winn confirms.

That puts the damage squarely above Lena’s personal labs. Something definitely went wrong down there.

“How much longer is this column going to last?” Maggie asks, rifling through the schematics Winn’s sent over and zooming in on the damaged column.

“A few minutes maybe.” He answers a little frantically.

“Well how do we fix It?” Alex asks, tossing the car through turns and pushing roughly at the gearstick to go as fast as possible on the short straights.

“uhhh... hold on.” Winn mumbles out, there’s clicking and Vasquez again over the speaker before he comes back. “Okay okay, the car should hold it.”

“What?” Alex shoots back.

“The car, it has anti crush. So if you can get it under the undamaged section it should be strong enough to hold the weight.” Winn explains.

“Should be? Is this going to work Winn, yes or no?” Alex asks a little gruffly, her worry for Lena and Kara evident in her frustration.

“I wanna say yes.” Winn responds over the line, his voice wavering a little with the doubt in his tone.

But it’s enough for Maggie. And she can see Alex nodding to herself at the plan as well.

“Okay we'll handle it.” Alex confirms. “Get a building contractor or whoever knows about any of this stuff, enroute to handle it once the DEO is clear.” She orders.

“On it.” Winn calls.

Maggie watches Alex take a deep breath as they near L-Corp, her wife focused and determined. And Maggie can feel the tension building in her muscles, feel the adrenaline starting to take hold of her body.

They pull harshly through a corner, Maggie grabbing onto the handle above her head instinctively. But she chokes against her seatbelt as Alex is forced to slam on the brakes when a wall of traffic blocks the road ahead.

“Shit!” Alex yells, looking back over her shoulder as she punches the car into reverse and rolls backwards with screeching tyres.

But they're blocked there too, fire trucks attempting to squeeze through all the traffic with police cars trying to shuffle people out of the way.

Maggie looks over to her display again, zooming in on their locator beacon on the satellite view. With all the traffic being diverted from the centre of the city, they’re caught in a massive pile up just a few blocks from L-Corp.

“Take the bike.” Maggie reasons, already unfastening her belt to climb into the drivers seat. “This goes for another block and a half before getting a clear run to Lena, no way we’re getting through. You need to go, I’ll try follow.”

“Okay.” Alex nods, clambering into the back and pulling on a headband that expands out into a helmet.

The car activates a launch ramp by opening the roof, the centre console shifting into an arch until it’s ready to let the bike turn on at Alex's command. It revs loudly, a riding suit automatically warping over Alex’s body.

“Be careful.” Maggie urges, containing the slight fear rising in her chest.

“You too.” Alex answers back.

And Maggie motions for her to go, knowing that she’ll ask Alex not to if she waits any longer. But her heart still stalls for a moment as she watches the bike launch onto the street, Alex weaving between the cars as she heads for the L-Corp building, smoke billowing out into the sky like a beacon.

“Winn, I need a way through this mess if I'm getting to the column in time, so talk to me.” Maggie says, pulling her seatbelt on as the bike ramp disassembles itself back into the centre console much to onlookers stunned faces.

“I'm looking, I’m looking.” Winn assures.

Maggie glances around, peering out every window the car has. But there’s cars packed door to door on all fronts, there’s no way to get past. And Maggie knows she needs to get the car under the beam to stop the building coming down on top of Lena, Kara and Alex. So she’s panicking a little.

“Winn! Seriously what am I doing here?!” She barks out, hoping her tone will get something out of the tech nerd.

“I don’t know just give me a sec- What?” Winn starts talking to Vasquez in the background, the agent’s voice muffled over the line. “Will that work...but we haven’t tested it... okay okay I'll tell her.” Winn relents as Vasquez's voice fades off.

“Maggie?” Winn questions.

“Still here.”

“Okay, we installed something on the car a few weeks back but haven’t had time to field test it.” He explains.

“Will it get me to L-Corp?” Maggie wants to know, weighing the risk of using new tech in such a crowded space, with civilians.

“Yeah but-"

“What is it?” Maggie cuts him off. “How do I use it?”

“Okay, on the steering wheel there’s a little switch cover, the button underneath should activate the wheel launchers.” Winn explains.

But Maggie is a little confused, she doesn’t know much about DEO tech outside of basic weaponry and Alex’s suits. “Launchers?”

“Yeah uh... like rocket launchers...” Winn says guiltily. “Alex said yes and I wanted to try them on a car.”

“Figures.” Maggie says simply, shaking her head at her wife's antics before focusing back on the task at hand.

“Okay I’m hitting it now so let’s hope this works.” She tells Winn.

Her finger flips up the cover on the steering wheel, a small red button staring back at her. And Maggie only hesitates for a second before pressing it, hands clenching on the wheel as the car shudders and then suddenly goes quiet.

Maggie waits. But a couple seconds go by and nothing happens.

“Winn I don’t thi-" She starts, cut off as the car shakes violently, the door against Maggie’s knee vibrating like it’s got a massive speaker inside playing at full volume.

And the noise is thankfully just a rumble in Maggie’s ears, but she can tell by looking at other drivers that cars without soundproofing are hearing the jets a lot louder than she is.  
Maggie watches as she rises a few feet over the other cars, climbing steadily until she’s about ten storeys up in the air.

“How am I suppose to drive this thing?” She questions, a little thrown off at flying without having the usual plane setup.

“Tilt the wheel up or down to change your height, otherwise just drive.” Winn instructs.

So Maggie presses down on the accelerator a little, a spark of excitement pounding in her chest as the car shoots forward towards L-Corp. It's a shaky ride but she makes progress, cautious of the buildings either side of her as well as anything down below in the path of the jets. Thankfully, after so long flying with Kara, Maggie is less afraid of heights, finding them tolerable to a certain degree.

The cars below start to thin out after a block or so, the evacuated streets luring Maggie back down onto the pavement. So she tilts the steering wheel down, pulling back at how sharply the car pitches down to the ground. She manages to pull it back just in time, the car landing less than gracefully in the middle of the deserted intersection between L-Corp and CatCo.

Maggie gets her bearings and turns the car towards the Eastern corner of Lena’s building, wheels spinning as they convert back in into tyres before gripping at the road and pulling the car towards the smoking building.

There should be underground parking access along this side of the building, but there’s so much smoke coming up from the lower levels that Maggie can barely make out what’s an entrance and what’s broken walls. But eventually she spots it, having to drift the car in sideways at the speed she’s going. But Alex is definitely the better driver, as made evident by Maggie smacking into the sides of the parking ramp as she starts going underground.

“Straight ahead and then over into the last row!” Winn instructs as Maggie makes it down the second level.

She does as she's told, the car screeching as Maggie tosses the steering wheel around. Thankfully there aren’t many cars here so she cuts across the parking spaces to get to the East corner. But it's hard to see with the smoke rising up from the level below and Maggie just hopes her girls are all okay.

The column is dead ahead, a massive crack splintering on its circumference. But it’s mostly still attached, which poses an issue. Maggie slams on the brakes, her mind racing to figure out how to get the weight off the broken column and onto the car.

“How do I get the car under this thing if it’s still standing!?” She questions, hoping Winn can give her an idea.

“Use the cutter and split the column at the bottom, right above the floor.” Winn offers.

“You want me to cut it when it’s already broken?” Maggie reasons, her heart pounding when the building groans and the column in front of her crumbles even more.

“The fracture is above you, cut it at the floor and you can push the damaged section out and let the weight fall onto the car.” Winn explains.

“You want me to push the... seriously?” Maggie mutters to herself.

“We don’t have a lot of time Maggie.” Winn presses, his voice sounding panicked over the line.

And Maggie thinks over the plan for a second, the column’s cracking and slipping urging her into action before she can come up with anything better. But she thinks she can pull it off, she has to.

Maggie reverses, moving back to the other side of the building and pointing the bonnet straight at the column. She aims the laser cutter at the base using the targeting system and sets it to maximum. She’s got one shot at this so the timing has to be perfect.

The car revs beneath her, the laser firing up as Maggie punches the accelerator. The red beam fires into the column and Maggie keeps her foot pressed into the pedal even as every instinct is telling her to slam on the brakes.

And when Maggie reaches the last row before the edge of the building the column is holding up, she flicks the laser off and throws the steering wheel to the side. The car turns and slides horizontally across the concrete, Maggie's door smashing into the column and shoving the massive block of concrete out of the way and into the wall. The chassis and roof scrape against the cracked and cut sections of the column as she feels the car settle between them, like a jenga block being slid into place.

Maggie braces as a loud groaning sounds overhead, the columns weight pressing heavily onto the roof. She can hear the car activate the anti crush, the chassis groaning under the pressure as warning lights flash across the display.

It takes a few seconds, but then it goes quiet, the car stabilising and turning off all the alarms.

“Maggie?” Winn asks, worry sounding in his tone.

Maggie takes a second to shake her head clear, looking at the cars systems to make sure it’s going to hold and diverting all power to the anti crush function.

“I’m good.” She finally answers, hands clenching tightly on the wheel as all the digital controls power off due to the power diversion. “I've put all the power to the anti crush, so the doors aren’t gonna work.”

“Okay, sit tight. Alex is coming to get you.” Winn says in relief.

“Kara and Lena?” Maggie questions, worry pressing down on her chest like the column on the roof right now.

“They're okay, Kara is bringing Lena to the DEO now.” Winn assures.

Maggie lets out a sigh of relief, letting her head fall against the wheel as she feels the adrenalin leaving her body. If it weren’t for the weight of a fifty storey building resting right above her head, she might even be able to relax.

But she's still a little on edge when there’s a rumble from outside the car, Alex’s black motorcycle rolling up next to the car. Maggie only lifts her head up when there’s a tapping on the passenger window, Maggie's own pressed securely agaisnt the section of column she shoved out of the way.

“You okay?” Alex questions, pressing at the side of her helmet to make it collapse back into a small headband that she puts aside on the bonnet to focus on getting the car open.

The smoke is still pretty bad and Maggie isn’t really happy that Alex just pulls her undershirt up over her mouth to breath.

“Yeah. You?” Maggie asks, her eyes instinctively scanning over Alex’s body for any sign of injury through the window. But there’s not much to see past her riding suit.

Alex nods, eying up the door panel separating her from Maggie. “I'm fine.” She muffles out past her shirt. “Just checked Lena over before Kara got her out of here.”

Maggie is about to ask what happened but Alex paces back to her bike and opens the weapons compartment. She pulls out her old sonic gun and fiddles with the settings on the side. Maggie's pretty sure by now there’s better weapons out there, but Alex has a bit of an attachment to the thing.

“Lean down.” Alex instructs, her hand motioning for Maggie to duck her head into the console.

It’s a little awkward, the car wasn't exactly built for comfort over performance, but Maggie tucks herself down as far as possible and waits. Alex’s gun will have to be on the highest setting to get through the bulletproof glass and the force of that would do more than just injure Maggie. So she’s sure not to give in to the temptation to peek back up.

There’s a slight whirring before a loud bang and the smashing of glass fills Maggie’s ears, the shards all falling onto her back and into her hair. She ends up having to pull her shirt up to breath as well, the smoke scratching at her throat.

“Good?” Alex asks, sticking her head through the window to check Maggie over as she leans back up.

Maggie nods and tries to shake the worst of the glass off herself as Alex uses the gun to try and smash the remaining glass from the window frame so she won’t cut herself getting out.

She wriggles herself onto the seat with her back facing the window, letting Alex grab under her arms and haul her out of the car.

And right now Maggie just really wants to collapse into Alex, just hug her for hours on end as they stand here. But the smoke is thick and it’s getting hard to see. So she ends up shuffling onto the bike behind Alex who hands her the helmet, insisting that she’s fine without one. Maggie always argues this, but knows they won’t be moving until she’s got the damn thing on her head, so she does as she’s told. Just this once.

They speed up the parking lot ramps and out onto the street, the bright light hurting Maggie's eyes a little. The DEO isn’t that far from here, so Maggie settles for holding tightly to her wife’s waist as they make the trip, grateful for the fresh air and open space. But she can't stop her hands from shaking agaisnt Alex's waist as the adrenalin seeps from her body.

When they get to the DEO, Alex doesn’t bother going to the parking lot and instead pulls up to the front curb. The riding suit deactivates automatically, reconnecting to the bike and leaving Alex in the jeans and shirt she was wearing originally. She turns the bike off and kicks the wheel locks on before looking up to where the control room balcony juts out into the sky.

“Kara!” she yells.

Maggie rolls her eyes, feeling a lot calmer now that Alex has resumed daily habits. Yelling for Kara to come and get her from down here had started last year, after her leg got hurt fighting the Valecian, because the front steps were a bit of a hassle. But it had quickly turned into a daily routine for the pair.

A few moments later Kara appears overhead, diving down and landing softly in front of them with a fluttering of her cape.

Her suit, usually a dark navy blue and maroon colour combination with a metallic finish, is all sooty and black, as is the hero’s face and blond hair.

“Lena alright?” Maggie questions, nose scrunching up at Kara’s state.

“Yeah, still a little shaken up but she’s okay.” Kara reasons. “We going up?”

Maggie and Alex both nod, shuffling into Kara’s arms as she hooks them around their waists. They take off gently, Maggie still a little awestruck by the view of the city the higher up they get.

Winn and Jonn are waiting on the balcony when they land, both looking like they need a few weeks off on some remote island in the middle of nowhere.

“There’s a team securing the car and L-Corp and Lena is waiting in the med bay for you.” Winn informs Alex, his gaze firmly set on Kara’s suit and all the dirt on it.

"What happened?" Maggie questions, looking to Jonn for an answer as to whether or not someone has made an enemy of themselves today.

"Lena says one of her experiments backfired, nobody tried anything." Jonn assures, looking a little relieved when Alex relaxes and doesn't look like shes going to go and hunt somebody down.

“Okay. Well I’ll sort Lena out, make sure she's okay and hopefully we can handle the rest tomorrow?” Alex questions.

“I like that plan.” Jonn agrees, his easy demeanour helping Maggie relax after this whole ordeal. “I'll go check on the recovery team at L-Corp and make sure the site is secure. It’ll take a while so I'll just meet you at your place later tonight.” He determines.

“Okay.” Alex nods, smiling a little at Maggie at the implication that their anniversary party is still going ahead.

Maggie smiles back, letting Alex and Winn head up to the med bay to check on Lena as Jonn takes off from the balcony.

But her mood is altered drastically when she notices Kara shuffle dejectedly to the bottom of the stairs and sit down with her head in her hands.

“You don’t look so good.” Maggie comments, squatting down in front of her sister in law to hold her face up so she can see her. “Talk to me.”

Kara just sighs, leaning her cheek into Maggie’s hand heavily, like she's tired of holding her own weight up.

“I never thought it would be this difficult.” She offers timidly.

Maggie tilts her head in question, urging Kara to continue when she’s ready.

“loving a human is hard.” The hero eventually admits, wiping at her face to get some of the soot off. “I can’t protect her from the one thing that will end up taking her away from me.”

And this isn’t something Kara ever really talks about. In all of Maggie’s years in this family, the subject of Kara’s borderline immortality is something that’s avoided fairly well. But Maggie is pretty sure Kara thinks about more than she lets on.

“It's okay to be scared you know.” Maggie offers, not really knowing how to make Kara feel better about this. Mostly because she can’t bring herself to pretend there won’t be a time when Kara won’t have the family she has right now anymore.

“I don't wanna think about it.” Kara whispers, taking a deep breath and running her hands across her legs to try and release some of the tension. “She was working on Alex's new suit for tonight.” She says, changing the subject half heartedly.

And Maggie wants to talk about this, needs to be here for Kara. But she knows now isn’t right time, especially if Kara’s making an effort to avoid the conversation. So she focuses on Lena and resolves to try and get Kara to open up later.

“What happened?” Maggie asks, shuffling up to sit beside Kara and rest her shoulder against the hero's.

“I think the energy disperser or something overloaded. I'd have looked at it but Lena's tech rivals Krypton’s at this point, so I’m not sure I could've been much help.” Kara says heavily.

“Well she’s okay, that’s all that matters.” Maggie offers reassuringly.

Kara shakes her head, leaning back and running a hand through her hair as she slumps against the stairs behind her.

“It was a mess down there. I don’t know how she’s alive, let alone perfectly fine.” Kara deliberates. “I’m just hoping Alex won’t find anything that says otherwise.”

“Even if she does, when has Alex ever not found a way to fix it?” Maggie reasons, the faith she has in her wife the single surest thing she can give to Kara right now.

Kara contemplates what she hearing, looking at Maggie for any sign of a lie. But there’s none to be found.

“Yeah.” Kara agrees softly. “You're right. It's okay.”

Maggie smiles softly, thankful that Kara looks like she's relaxed a little. And the two naturally find themselves huddling together, Maggie’s arm wrapping over Kara’s shoulders protectively as they wait for Alex and Lena to call them upstairs.

Not long goes by before Kara obviously feels the need to fill the silence.

“I'm guessing this isn’t what you had planned for your anniversary.” She says with an amused smile.

“To be honest, I would have settled for take out on the couch.” Maggie jokes back. “Alex once said she would only ever do date night in tactical gear and I think she may have been onto something.”

Kara chuckles, her nose crinkling in the adorable Danvers sister way that makes Maggie smile like an idiot. And as per usual, Maggie tries to keep that smile on her girls' faces as long as possible.

“Seriously, I think we should team up and wrap Lena and Alex in that old bubble wrap stuff, make them wear it everyday.” She says with faux seriousness.

Kara goes wide eyed, patting excitedly at Maggie’s knee at the suggestion.

“Imagine the look on Alex's face!” Kara laughs. “The frown and the pout.”

Maggie laughs at the image, picturing how cute Alex would look with her grumpy face on top of a bubble wrapped body.

“She would look adorable.” Maggie assures, stifling her laugh behind a hand. “But Lena with her heels!”

Kara just goes red in the face, her laughter barely reaching Maggie’s ears through the smile that stretches across the hero’s face.

But Maggie chuckles to herself when Kara’s expression quickly turns into a different kind of smile, one filled with love and relief as a voice sounds from the top of the stairs.

“What about my heels?” Lena questions, her eyebrows furrowing playfully at Kara. She's covered in dust, the ruined dark blue pants and blazer she has on long past being something the CEO would dig out of her closet.

“Nothing, I'll tell you later.” Kara assures, a little too excited to just get up and run up the stairs to her wife. “Are you okay?”

“Yes I'm fine darling, but we do have to go because I didn’t have a chance to sign that stuff yet...” Lena leads on, her eyes telling Kara to finish the train of thought for herself.

“Oh, right um... we can fly, that would be faster yeah?” Kara offers.

Lena just nods, grabbing at Kara’s hand to tug her down the stairs to where Maggie is pushing herself up off the bottom step.

She hauls Lena into a tight hug, pulling back to look her over. The CEO has barely aged since Maggie first met her, a miracle considering all the stress and conflict she undergoes on a regular basis. But at the same time Maggie supposes some people are just built for that kind of thing, Lena always being one to rise to a challenge.

“Don't you dare scare us like that again.” Maggie berates, only half joking. “I can’t handle these two on my own.” She says, playfully nodding her head in reference to Kara and Alex.

Lena smiles widely, the gesture having become an easy and common occurrence since she joined the family.

“Not getting rid of me that easily.” Lena jokes, squeezing at Maggie’s hand reassuringly. “But I'm sorry for ruining your anniversary.”

“You didn’t ruin anything.” Maggie says a little sternly, not wanting to allow any kind of thought that isn’t positive to find a home in Lena’s head. “Everyone being okay is always what matters, okay?”

Lena nods, looking a little more relieved than Maggie would like. But at least she won’t spend anymore time thinking she ruined the day.

“El Mayarah.” Kara chimes in quietly, resting her head on Lena’s shoulder protectively.

And Maggie just smiles at the pair, gushing internally at the way they both lean into the other, whispering ‘see you later’ as they head for the balcony to leave. But Lena turns back, looking over Kara’s shoulder as the hero lifts her up, the CEO's arms looping around her wife’s neck instinctively.

“Oh Maggie!” She calls out. “Her and Winn have got a microscope sample up there, so you might want to go up and make sure they actually leave the lab sometime this decade.” Lena urges with a smirk.

“Ugh Okay.” Maggie sighs out with a chuckle, waving at Kara and Lena as they launch off into the city.

She decides it’s probably best to let Alex work on whatever she has for a little while, so Maggie heads to the vending machine they installed for Kara a while back, across the room near Winn’s empty console.

It’s stocked with mostly candy and chips, those ridiculous jaw breaker gum balls Kara loves to use her freeze breath on. But there’s a little section at the bottom that Maggie requested be filled with chocolate almonds.

The small treats never fails to help lure Alex away from whatever experiment or study she has going on and they’ve been a prop in many of Maggie's plots and schemes for her wife. But right now they’re just something to make Alex smile.

Maggie presses her hand onto the screen, the glass recognizing her hand print and asking that she press a button to indicate what she'd like. A few moments later a bag of chocolate almonds finds it's way from the dispenser tray into Maggie’s hands and she heads back to the med bay and labs.

Hopefully Winn and Alex won’t be much longer.

She trudges up the stairs and ends up leaning on the door frame to Alex’s lab, watching intently at the way her wife's lab coat hangs off her shoulders, the collar popped a little like it was tugged on a little roughly. Alex's glasses sit on her nose, a little crooked but still dutifully shielding her eyes.

And then there's Winn, who has about five different screens in front of him, all with graphs and weird pictures that look like they're from a biology book Maggie threw away in high school.

All in all, the pair look completely immersed in their work, neither noticing Maggie as she stands quietly and observes, happy to follow the motion of Alex’s hands as she changes sample slides or adds chemicals.

It sort of baffles Maggie that she’s here. Sometimes she has these moments where the world seems to go quiet for a second and she can actually look around and see where she’s at and it all feels a little surreal.

Because she’s here, watching the most beautiful person in the entire world fiddle with her science sets and all Maggie can do is wonder how it all came to be.

And logically she understands all the events in her life that led her here, but at the same time, how any of it resulted in being able to love Alex is beyond Maggie. She didn’t think it was possible to love this girl any more than what she did when they first found one another. And yet, all these years later, Maggie finds herself falling more in love with every breath Alex takes.

She wonders if that will ever change. But Maggie finds that when her heart whispers the answer back to her, she’s more than willing to listen.

“Hey.” Alex says softly, drawing Maggie out of her thinking. “How long you been there?”

Maggie smiles a little embarrassedly as she shrugs. “Not that long. I like the glasses.” She comments, smiling when Alex notices they’re skew and pushes them up into her short hair so that they’re out of the way.

“I won’t be much longer, there’s just something weird about Lena’s blood cells.” Alex assures.

Maggie shuffles over, not because she can really help, more just because she’s curious as to what Alex means. Winn smiles over at her softly as she puts the almonds down on the table, the tech nerd snapping the bag open and stealing one before carrying on with his own stuff.

“Show me what’s happening?” Maggie asks, pulling a lab chair up next to Alex.

Alex smiles a little and swipes at a tablet on the desk next to her, a video of what Maggie’s assumes to be Lena’s blood cells popping up on the screen.

“You see these here.” Alex points out little clusters.

“Mhmmm.”

“Watch.” She says, holding a flame torch to the dish under the microscope.

Maggie watches intently as the little cells burn up and wrap out of shape beyond recognition.

“Is it not meant to do that?” Maggie questions.

“It is.” Alex confirms. “What it isn’t supposed to do is this.” She says, pulling the torch away and pointing back at the screen.

The black pieces suddenly all start moving, joining together slowly until they can group together, the burnt edges fading until the cells look normal again.

“They're regenerating.” Maggie resolves, leaning in to keep watching.

“As far as I can tell, yeah.” Alex agrees. “She was working on my suit and some tech that would allow the fibres to rebuild themselves when it got damaged. I think it might have somehow transferred to her.”

“You're telling me Lena is just magically healing anytime she gets hurt?” Maggie questions, unable to help the slight disbelieving tone that creeps into her voice.

“Not only that, her cells are repairing themselves as they age. Kind of like cloning themselves every time they’re meant to be naturally degrading.” Winn chimes in, shrugging a little himself at the conclusion.

“What does that mean? Is it bad?” Maggie asks.

Alex goes through her notes, eyes flitting through screens before she raises her shoulders.

“I don’t think so. But if it’s irreversible she’s basically going to be cloning herself for hundreds of years before the cells aren't replicable anymore.” Alex explains.

Maggie gives her wife a confused look, grateful when she dumbs it down a little.

“It's like making a cup of coffee. You drink half and then top it up with water. You still have coffee, but it’s not as strong as the first cup. You keep doing that, drinking half and filling it up, until it gets to a point where all you've got is water left in the cup.” Alex supplies metaphorically. “The same thing is happening with Lena. The cells will keep replicating, copies of copies, until the genetic code isn’t replicable.”

“So basically she’s not gonna age for a few lifetimes.” Maggie concludes.

“That’s the theory.” Winn says, looking like he’s discovered the meaning of life itself.

“Does Kara know?” Is Maggie’s first thought out of the gate. Because if this turns out to be true...

“Not yet. Lena wants to be sure it’s real first.” Alex says. “But it looks like it. And I've run every test her and I could think of so...”

“This is a little crazy.” Maggie reasons, slumping down on her chair to process.

“Tell me about it.” Alex agrees. “But for now I think we can breathe a little and worry about it tomorrow.”

“This is probably the most amazing thing to be discovered in this lab and you wanna wait till tomorrow?” Maggie questions jokingly.

“Well I kinda had plans with someone special, so yeah.” Alex responds with a smile, reaching out and grabbing at Maggie’s hand to intertwine their fingers.

And Maggie can’t help the red she feels burn onto her cheeks at Alex’s words, her heart leaping like it’s got a jump rope.

“Yeah, plus Lena needs you to sign the forms to take over your apartment floor.” Winn throws in, already packing up his tablets and screens.

“What?” Alex and Maggie echo together, confusion etching onto their faces.

“Oh...” Winn slaps a hand to his head. “Nothing it’s nothing, forget I ev-"

“Winn, don’t make me make you tell me what you mean.” Alex threatens lightly, raising her finger towards the tech nerd.

“Okay, okay. Put that thing away.” He relents, motioning at Alex’s hand. “She’s buying the building and wants to give you two the whole floor.”

Maggie and Alex both share a look. Winn picks up on it though and is quick to speak up again.

“Its not like anyone lives in the apartments around you anyway for security reasons and you guys were thinking about getting a bigger place.” He reasons.

And those statements are true Maggie supposes. But still, she isnt sure about it. That must be what her and Kara rushed off to sign earlier.

“We'll tall to her about it.” Alex reasons, catching onto the doubt in Maggie's demeanour.

Maggie nods, Lena is family after all so they should talk about it before she shoots the idea down completely.

“Okay, just don’t tell her I said anything. All you girls scare me when you get feisty.” Winn jokes.

Alex rolls her eyes, waving her hand for him to leave. But there’s a bright smile on her face and Maggie gets a little lost in it even as Winn says his goodbyes.

Maggie can still feel the awestruck expression on her face as Alex moves around the lab packing up her stuff.

“What?” She eventually asks Maggie, her voice soft now that they’re alone.

“Nothing.” Maggie replies gently. “I just love you.”

Alex stops, putting all of her stuff on the bench top so she can pull Maggie into a hug.

“I love you too Mags.” She whispers, pulling back and letting her fingers trail into Maggie’s hair and pull it over her shoulders so she can play with it softly.

And as much as Maggie adores the gesture, always has, she wants a little more of Alex than that right now. So she reaches up to grab her wife’s hands, intertwining their fingers together and holding their hands against her chest.

Alex catches on and leans down a little, resting her forehead against Maggie’s as she smiles softly at her.

“Show me?” Maggie asks quietly, chuckling under her breath at the little look of confusion Alex gives her.

“Show you what?” Alex questions, her thumbs running over the back of Maggie’s palms like she's nervous.

So Maggie leans up and kisses Alex softly to calm her down, feeling weightless at the little sigh Alex let’s out at the gesture when she pulls away again.

“Show me.” Maggie repeats, tugging Alex’s hands open a little against her chest so that she can feel her heartbeat.

And Maggie can tell the moment Alex realises that she’s asking her to show that she loves her, because Alex’s eyes suddenly start roaming all over Maggie's face, like she's looking for something.

“There’s nothing that’s enough.” Alex whispers, her hands shaking a little above Maggie’s heart.

And the subtle change from Alex’s easy and calm demeanour to the now nervous and quiet girl that stands in her place makes Maggie’s heart lurch beneath her wife's unsteady touch.

“Alex...” Maggie starts, taking a second to try and find the words she needs to say to her wife to make her understand. And nothing really seems like a perfect fit, but Maggie finds herself whispering back to Alex nonetheless.

“Everything you are is more than perfect.” Maggie assures, her voice echoing around the empty lab softly. “You show me everyday how beautiful and amazing my life is. And I would never change a single thing.”

Alex chuckles light-heartedly, in the way Maggie knows she’s tying not to cry. And Maggie didn't intend for her words to be so impactful. Just a smile from Alex is enough to prove how much love Maggie knows she has. But thats juts how they are she supposes, as much as they both come off as being badasses to the rest of the world, together they're just who they are right now. Being vulnerable and open is the only way Maggie knows how to be with Alex, the only way she ever wants to be with her. And the fact that Maggie of all people feels that way is testament enough to what an amazing person Alex is and how important she is to Maggie.

“I used to think there was some sort of grand gesture or some kind of gift that could prove how much I love you.” Alex admits quietly. “But nothing ever comes close to this.” She reasons, leaning back down against Maggie’s forehead.

“This is all I want.” Maggie assures, struggling to breath against the sudden tightness in her chest, the soft smile she can feel on her face not doing much to ease the feeling caused by loving this amazing girl so much.

So Maggie just ends up nudging Alex’s nose with her own in question, sighing happily when Alex chuckles and leans in to kiss her softly.

And the only though that manages to form in Maggie's mind as her arms wrap around her wife, is that she may never know how she can love Alex this much.

But if it comes down to what she feels versus what she knows, Maggie is happy that the latter will always lose when it comes to this, when it comes to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it, let me know :)  
> Next chapter is being written, it'll probably be a little while before it's here but it's coming :D


	8. All Through the Night: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, fair warning here... this chapter and the ones following are gonna be angsty and for anyone not wanting to wait for a happy ending, I would recommend waiting until the fic is completed. Anyone choosing to read as it gets posted, I promise it's all part of the plan and Sanvers will always be endgame :)  
> 

Alex never gets tired of days ending like this, Maggie cuddled into her side as the tv runs quietly. It’s been about a week since their twentieth anniversary, but in some ways Alex still feels like they got married yesterday. She still gets excited by the ring on her finger, still feels her heart flutter every time she calls Maggie her wife. But it's been twenty long, at times difficult but always filled with love years. 

Last week was actually one of the few occasions where they went out for their anniversary party, the whole family organizing a massive party out at the old airport where they first met. And it was so much fun, dancing and laughing, throwing cake at Maggie across the tarmac, Alex thinks it’s one of her favourite anniversaries ever. But she loves this, loves being close to her wife as she tries cutely not to fall asleep. Because it feels like home.

And they've spent years in this apartment, more like lifetimes actually. There's so many memories here, from dancing at three in the morning to crying when they had to put Gertie down. Alex can picture it all, sees it going by in her head like a highlight reel as she looks around. 

It’s different now from how it once was, the place much bigger since Lena bought the building and gave them the entire floor about three years ago, the entirety of their home now taking up the space of four apartments.

But as big as it is, everything feels close to Alex, from the bonsais lining the windowsill by the balcony, to their old motorcycle helmets sitting on the shelf in the hallway. It all feels like it’s perfectly in place. She's perfectly where she was meant to be.

“Hey?” Maggie asks quietly, shuffling back a little to look up at Alex. “What are you thinking about?”

She’s still so beautiful, her hair a little shorter, greying a little at the edges if Alex looks closely. And Alex can't help but think that it isn’t fair Maggie will never understand just how much so.

“Just all of this.” Alex says quietly, motioning around them a little. “And us.”

Maggie hums, shuffling closer to Alex as she looks up at her wife with a slightly raised eyebrow that makes Alex smile.

“ ‘Us' is a pretty big spectrum you're working with there.” She jokes. “Should I be worried?”

Alex shakes her head, unable to resist letting her fingers trail through Maggie’s hair. It makes Alex’s heart flutter, soft moments like this with Maggie, she adores the domesticity of it amongst the rest of her crazy life. And if anyone had said to her that this is where she’d be twenty years ago, Alex knows she probably wouldn’t have believed it. On this occasion, Alex has never been happier to be wrong about something.

But her wife has a slight look on face, like she wants to say something she isn’t sure she should.

“Talk to me.” Alex pleads gently.

Maggie sighs, her eyes finding her lap like she's embarrassed.

“It's nothing.” She attempts.

“Mags...” Alex prompts, nudging her wife’s head softly with her own, happy when it gets her to sigh and look up at her.

“I just don't understand how I got here. I've been trying to figure it out for so long and I just can't. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.” Maggie whispers.

“Here?” Alex questions, a little confused by Maggie’s choice of words, even though she thinks she knows what her wife is trying to say.

Maggie smiles up at her softly. “With you.”

And now Alex knows she understands, varying versions of this conversation having happened through the years. She just wishes that Maggie could see things the way she does, feel how she makes the people around her feel. But Maggie can't, so no matter how many times Alex has explained, she’ll explain it again, over and over without judgement or exasperation. Because this is the woman she loves. And Alex knows she can never give enough assurance of that fact.

So she twists herself up onto the couch to sit cross legged in front of Maggie and pull her into hug, the feeling of their hearts beating in time beside each other making it feel like they're one and the same.

“Not everything has to make sense.” Alex reasons, pulling back slightly and taking hold of Maggie’s hands. “Some things aren't meant to be understood.”

“Aren't you supposed to be a scientist Danvers?” Maggie questions jokingly, her habit of easing the tension through humour making Alex smile, even as she shakes her head to let Maggie know that there's no getting out of this conversation.

And Maggie gets the message, her hands shaking a little between Alex’s when she sighs in acceptance.

“Why are you so uneasy tonight?” Alex asks softly. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes.” Maggie assures, looking right at Alex to prove that she means what she says. “I just... I don’t know.” She tries. “I feel like I just need to tell you.”

Alex tilts her head a little in confusion. “Tell me what?”

Maggie smiles softly, her eyes roaming over Alex’s face like she's trying to remember every detail she sees. It puts Alex a little on edge to be honest, the look in Maggie's eyes edging on being sad.

“Maggie?” Alex questions fearfully. “I don’t understand what's goi-" she tries, her words cut off when Maggie's hands come up to hold her face and pull them together.

The kiss takes Alex by surprise a little, but the feeling of Maggie’s thumb grazing over her cheek never fails to make Alex lean in a little closer, her hands moving to tangle in Maggie's hair gently. And it’s not long before Alex can feel her lungs starting to burn from not breathing, but she just doesn't care, the feeling of Maggie trying to pull her closer more important right now.

But eventually they both have to pull back, Maggie laughing a little as she breathes unsteadily and lets her forehead rest against Alex’s, trying to get some air.

“I’m not complaining.” Alex assures with a smile, her breathing also a little off. “But what was that for?”

Maggie leans back a little, her hands resting on Alex's cheeks as she seems to contemplate what to say. 

And Alex is a little baffled when Maggie bites her lip and shrugs to herself like she can’t come up with anything.

“I love you.” Maggie settles on. “I'm just so... I'm in love with you.” 

It’s not like Alex is hearing anything different from any other day she’s been with Maggie, but for some reason right now, it feels like those words shift the entire universe around them. 

“I love you too Maggie.” Alex whispers into the small space between them.

“I know.” Maggie assures, an easy smile settling onto her face. 

But something makes Alex feel the need to make sure. Because yes, there’s a lot she can’t understand either, but Maggie... She's always been something Alex is sure about.

“I mean it.” Alex urges, pulling Maggie’s hands down from her cheeks so that she looks as serious as what she’s saying. “You have me, all of me, always.” She whispers.

“Alex.” Maggie says, stopping as she wriggles her fingers free of Alex’s grip and reaches out to hold her face again. “I know.”

It’s enough of a confirmation for Alex to feel confident that she’s said the right thing. So she lets herself fall forward a little into Maggie chest, her heart leaping at the small laugh Maggie let’s out in response as she wraps her arms around Alex.

But the hand Maggie runs up and down her back makes Alex sigh happily, turning her head so she can kiss her wife's neck softly. The soft pulse Alex feels fluttering beneath her lips makes her smile, especially the little jump it does when she stifles a yawn, the air hitting Maggie’s neck suddenly. 

“You getting tired of me Danvers?” Maggie questions jokingly, leaning back to kiss Alex's cheek.

“Never.” Alex shoots back with a smile, her breath catching a little at the way Maggie's eyes flit down to her lips briefly in response. 

“So you're not tired...” Maggie says playfully, a hint of temptation creeping into her voice as she tilts her head in the way that makes her dimples stand out cutely.

Alex shakes her head softly, letting her eyes wander over the easy smile her wife gives her. But Maggie ends up mirroring Alex and crossing her legs on the couch so that they can hold hands softly.

“So...” the former cop breathes out huskily, leaning in close, her breath landing temptingly on Alex’s lips.

“So...” Alex whispers back, letting her eyes drift between Maggie’s as she stares back at her gently.

And Alex isn’t really expecting Maggie to lean in closer, not to kiss her but to instead whisper in her ear.

“Can we go get ice cream?” Maggie questions, her voice sounding exactly like the smile Alex knows she must have on her face.

Only Maggie could get her heart stalling like that and then bring it back down to a level of total content in the space of a few seconds.

Alex pulls back to look at Maggie as she grins. “You wanna go get ice cream? That’s what you want?”

“I do and it is. ” Maggie says smugly, patting at Alex’s knees to get her moving.

“It's almost midnight.” Alex argues, even as she gets off the couch to follow her wife to the door.

“Come on Danvers, I married you for your sense of adventure you know.” Maggie jokes, tossing Alex the car keys as she tugs on her shoes.

Alex scoffs with a smile. “And here I thought it was my amazing aim and taste in bikes.” She retorts.

Maggie tilts her head and smiles, her dimples distracting Alex for a second, so she can't help the surprised laugh she lets out when Maggie tugs her into another kiss. And damn does Alex love feeling Maggie smile back against her lips in response.

“I’ll actually have you know I married you for a lot of reasons.” Maggie whispers as she pulls back, nudging Alex’s nose playfully with her own.

But Maggie takes a step back, letting her eyes look over Alex as she swings their hands lightly between them.

“To be honest, I think marrying you was the most selfish thing I’ve ever done.” Maggie suddenly admits, her voice sounding kind of ‘matter of fact’.

The sentence doesn't hit Alex right off, so when she ends up replaying Maggie’s words in her head, the statement causes about a million alarms to go off in her heart.

“What do you mean?” Alex questions worriedly.

But Maggie just smiles, her eyes looking over Alex like she's seeing in colour for the first time. The fact that Alex has grown so used to having Maggie look at her this way actually makes the ache in her chest even worse.

She’s so love with this woman, it’s beyond insane. And yet, it’s the only thing Alex could ever imagine for herself. So she doesn’t question what Maggie says as she pulls them out the door.

“I’ll tell you when we get back.” Maggie assures.

Alex just sighs, knowing she wont change Maggie's mind on this right now. But she's happy to let her wife guide her by the hand to their elevator, content to wrap an arm over Maggie's shoulders as they wait the few seconds it takes to get down to the parking garage.

Alex starts to head for the DEO sedan, but Maggie grabs her elbow and looks up at her with a slight pout.

“I wanna take the dodge.” She says, eyes motioning to her old police car that sits dutifully at the end of the row, beside their old bikes.

Normally it would be faster and a whole lot more practical to just fly to whatever twenty four hour store they could find, but the look on Maggie’s face is cute enough to make steel melt, or at the very least any sense of practicality Alex has left after being married to her for so long.

“Dibs on driving.” Alex says with a smile, excited about actually having wheels underneath her instead of jets for the first time in ages.

Maggie just smiles like it’s exactly what she was expecting. Alex probably would have commented on it, but she loses her train of thought when Maggie looks at her like that.

So she just flicks through the keys and unlocks the old car, the leather seats and analogue displays making Alex brim with excitement as she remembers all the date nights and high speed chases. If she thinks about it, the two are mostly one and the same.

Alex guides the car up the parking ramps and through the security doors, happy once they’re on the street and she can leave the car in a low gear and let her hand wander over the console to hold Maggie’s.

And they just drive through the mostly empty streets, Alex relaxed and happy at the way Maggie’s thumb brushes over the back of her hand every now and then as she looks out the window.

“It's still beautiful.” Maggie notes quietly, her gaze turning back to Alex as she smiles softly.

And with the street lights in her hair and the way her eyes shine gently, Alex finds herself agreeing with Maggie’s words, although in her mind it’s not about the city outside.

“You didn’t think it would be?” Alex questions, glancing at Maggie before forcing her eyes back to the road ahead.

“Not like this.” Maggie reasons. “It's just buildings and lights, which are beautiful I guess, especially compared to Gotham or Nebraska. But I didn’t know it could be this...” She trails off.

Alex just squeezes her wife’s hand gently, grateful when the gesture seems to get her attention back.

“Be what?” Alex asks, pulling to a stop at a red light, even though the intersection is clear, knowing it irritates Maggie when other people just drive through.

So Alex takes the moment to watch as Maggie looks around again, the smile on her face only growing as she turns back to Alex. 

“Home.” Maggie says softly, letting her fingers intertwine with Alex's. 

And Alex is so taken by the look in Maggie’s eyes, the way she smiles like every good thing in the world is right here in front of her.

She can see all the love Maggie holds right now. Alex can feel the same aching in her chest when she smiles back at her wife, as the light in front of them turns green in her peripherals and she lets the car roll forward.

But she doesn’t see the truck, doesn’t hear anything when time seems to slow down as she watches it speed through the intersection, towards the passenger side of the car. All she can see is Maggie, the trucks headlights shining off her hair slightly.

All Alex can see is Maggie smiling at her... 

Before it all comes crashing in and everything goes dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will update asap, I know leaving things in a shitty place is frustrating, so know I'm working on it.  
> Also for anyone working it out, I promise the end is worth the journey :)  
> Ps. Please don't hate me...


	9. All Through the Night: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, if you don't like angst being drawn out I recommend waiting until this section is finished... probably until the whole fic is finished tbh.  
> If you are reading on please let me know if there's any errors, didn't really proof read this one :)

The first thing Kara notices when her eyes flutter open is Lena's face, her cheek squished cutely into the pillow as her eyebrows furrow at something every second or so.

And just like always, Kara can hear her wife's heartbeat, the rhythm like a dull thumping in her ears, but the more she wakes up the more she realises what actually pulled her out of her sleep.

The phone is ringing on Lena’s nightstand, it’s screen not projecting a caller ID.

“Who is it?” Lena groans out, flopping onto her back to reach for the phone.

She scoops it up carelessly, pressing it to her ear as Kara props herself up on an elbow to listen.

“Hello?” Lena answers tiredly, the sound of her voice making Kara’s heart flutter a little as she hears a man respond.

“Mrs Danvers?” He asks.

“One of them, yes. You're speaking with Lena.” She explains.

“Mrs Danvers, we have your sister in law, Alex, currently being prepped for surgery here at National City General...” He explains, apparently not really knowing how to end the sentence.

Kara feels her heart lurch against her ribs as Lena bolts awake and starts to get out of bed. Kara follows suit, speed changing into her Supergirl uniform that’s lying on the floor.

“We'll be there in a moment.” Lena assures, hanging up the phone and pulling on some pants and a shirt, not bothering with shoes to cover her socks.

Kara scoops Lena up and makes for the balcony of their penthouse, her heart racing in her chest even as Lena rests her hand there in an attempt to calm her down.

It’s freezing outside, the sky dark against the city lights, but Kara doesn't bother closing the door behind her as she pushes off the ground, the feeling of every cell in her body working to get her flying not comparing to the thoughts of worry racing through her head.

They’re already landing outside the hospital when Kara realises Lena is talking on the phone.

“Just meet us here, take the jet.” Lena reasons into the device, motioning Kara through the hospital doors as she carries on talking. “And please call Winn and Jonn... okay... see you soon James.”

Kara looks to Lena worriedly, the harsh lights making the dark circles under her eyes stand out like bruises.

“I don’t know what to do.” Kara whispers as she looks around, the panic of hearing so much pain in one place making her head hurt from all the noise. She can't find a familiar heartbeat besides Lena’s in amongst all the static. She can’t find Alex.

Everyone is pretty quick to notice the super suited hero standing in the middle of the room, but Kara is more focused on where Lena is tugging them to. Kara thinks it’s reception, but it’s not like she's been in a public hospital for decades and the tables and walls and colours all look the same.

“Uh... are you looking for someone or...” the receptionist asks, her dark eyes looking between Lena and Kara like she’s looking at... well Supergirl and a multibillionaire Kara supposes.

“Danvers." Lena confirms, giving their surname so that she can search the system.

Kara tries to focus on the receptionist, Beth is what her name tag says, as she types. The clicking distracts her for a few moments until it stops suddenly, Beth's head tilting at her screen in confusion.

“Which one?” She asks, mostly looking to Lena seeing as Kara probably looks a little scary with the tense expression she can feel on her face as she tries not to freak out.

“Sorry?” Lena questions confusedly.

“You're looking for Danvers, but we have two on record tonight. ” Beth explains. “Are they related?” She asks.

And it’s that Kara realises what’s wrong with this whole thing, why she’s standing at the reception desk of this hospital instead of at the DEO. Both Alex and Maggie are here, so neither of them could have called for help or DEO teams.

“Yes, married.” Kara confirms, suddenly very on edge at the fact that two people she loves are lost in all the suffering she can hear bouncing through these halls. “Alex is going to surgery though, I want to see her. Where is she?” the hero questions.

And Kara is sure if she was dressed as anyone else right now she probably wouldn’t get an answer, but Beth points her down the hall and gives her directions to go up several floors to the operating rooms.

“I'll wait here for everyone.” Lena assures. “And figure out where Maggie is.”

Kara nods, grabbing Lena’s hand and squeezing it in thanks before hurrying off through the hospital.

She was right about everything being the same, every room and corner she turns looking exactly like the last, even when she flies up the stairs to the normally restricted operating theatres.

Kara ends up having to break the lock on the stairwell door, a keypad acting as security not doing much as she tugs the handle harshly.

There's a few nurses wandering the sterile hall and while they all look her over, none say anything as Kara passes them by.

Now that she can focus on just this floor, Kara concentrates her hearing and tries to find her sister. Voices and machines all mix together like a bad mixtape, none of it meaning anything until Kara hears a rhythm she recognizes.

She speeds around the corner, pushing through another locked door as the handle falls brokenly to the floor thanks to her actions.

The room she finds herself in has dim lights, most of them off but pointing towards a door that leads to an operating room, a glass window beside it. And behind it, Kara can see Alex.

Her face is bloody and bruised, the tube the doctors have put down her throat to help her breath pushing her neck out in a way that makes Kara choke at the sight. And as much as Kara wants to use her x-ray vision to see what the doctors are doing by Alex’s torso, she knows that if they're in there trying to fix something, it isn’t going to be something she wants to see.

“Miss... oh Supergirl! Um.. you're not really supposed to be here.” A nurse says from inside the operating room, the mask she has on hiding most of what Kara can hear is a shocked expression.

“I know, just help her.” Kara requests brokenly, putting her hands up to let the doctors know she won’t come in.

Its hard, but Alex had told her once that as a doctor, the best thing anyone on the outside could do is let her do her job. And Kara listens to Alex, always has. So she knows the drill, knows that the risk of Alex getting worse only increases if she goes in there with all of the dirt and whatever else is on her.

So Kara just waits, leaning her hands on the glass as she watches everyone in sterile suits move around her sister.

And she finds herself doing what she did years ago, when Alex was hurt by the Valecian, her finger absentmindedly tapping out the soft thumping she hears in her head.

After a while she can feel her heart start to mimic the tune, and Kara focuses on the reassurance instead of the worry that’s slowly but surely finding a home in her nerves.

But she's still on edge, so when a hand taps her on the shoulder, Kara jumps a little at the intrusion.

“Sorry.” Lena whispers.

“Its okay. Just a little... ya know.” Kara assures quietly. “Is everyone here?” She asks.

Lena nods, her hands reaching out to hold one of Kara’s in her own. But the hero can tell something is off, her wife looking to the floor to avoid looking up into her eyes.

“Lena, what’s wrong?” Kara questions, tilting down a little and putting her hands on Lena’s shoulders to urge the CEO to look up.

But Lena doesn’t talk, just looks at Kara with heavy eyes that stream tears over her cheeks as she shakes beneath the hero's touch. And Kara’s mind races to find the problem, reasons as to what could be hurting Lena right now forming in her head. But eventually it lands on one thing...

“Lena?” Kara repeats, her throat tightening as she feels her own tears start to catch on her eyelashes.

Because Kara knows, can feel it settle around her like a shadow as Lena tries and fails to choke out an answer.

“I- Kara sh- she’s-" she forces out.

Kara shakes her head, not wanting to accept what she’s hearing. “Where's Maggie?” She cries brokenly.

Lena just shakes her head, pushing forward to hold Kara in her arms as the hero feels her knees get weak.

“No, no no no.” Kara cries, clinging to Lena’s shoulders a little too tightly. She can hear the fabric of her wife's shirt ripping but it gets drowned out by the sound of them both crying.

“I'm sorry.” Lena chokes out. “I'm sorry Kara, I'm sorry.” She keeps repeating.

And every time Kara tries to look over at Alex to make sure she’s okay, she can feel her heart ache beneath her ribs at the pain she knows her sister will wake up to. Because she can feel it, a hole digging into her heart where Maggie’s easy smile and calm words should be right now. And Kara knows that it will still never be close to what waits for Alex.

So she just cries, hopelessly holding onto Lena as Alex’s heart beats a little faster in her ears. And when Kara pulls back a little to see why, she cant help but lean back against the window to see why everyone in the operating room is yelling.

She can hear their voices, all of them mixing up confusingly, so Kara just listens to Alex.

_Thump..... thump..... thump._

Everyone is still yelling, pushing things towards the gurney and handing the surgeon things. And vaguely Kara can hear Lena knocking on the glass and talking to the nurses, giving them instruction Kara thinks. But still she listens.

_Thump.. thump.. thump............_

Nothing.

And it’s true that Kara does listen to Alex, but this time the hero can’t stop herself, she can’t lose two sisters tonight.

“Alex!” Kara yells, smashing her hand against the window, the glass fracturing at the force.

But it doesn’t break, all the layers it’s built up of telling Kara it's bulletproof, probably L-Corp grade.

She watches as the doctors put two disks onto Alex’s chest, a nurse shoving her bra straps to the side so that the area around her sternum is clear. The sound of the disks charging up rings in Kara ears until they go off, the current of electricity they shoot through Alex's body making it convulse off the table before falling limply back down onto the plastic mattress. Still Kara hears nothing.

“Alex! Please don’t! Not again!” Kara screams, hitting her fist against the glass again, the sound of it cracking a little more sounding in her ears.

“Kara!” Lena tries, her hands gripping onto the hero’s arm to try and pull her back. But Kara tugs away as gently as she consciously manages right now and takes a step back.

All she can see Alex lying there, the doctors stepping away from her in defeat as she goes pale beneath the blue lights. And when they pull the breathing tube out of Alexs mouth, Kara knows she has to be in there, now. So she swings her shoulder back and punches the window as hard as she can without bringing the entire wall down, the glass shattering through into the operating room.

The all doctors duck from the flying shards, a few sharp pieces flying through the air, one even nicking Alex’s cheek before Kara can speed in and hold her sisters face in her hands.

There’s a small cut near the scar Alex got fighting the Valecian, a tube which Kara assumes is an optic camera the surgeons were using hanging awkwardly from her sisters stomach. The bruising that stretches around Alex’s ribs and down her side’s wrenches Kara’s stomach and she fights not to pull Alex into her too hard, fearing any damage she could do right now.

And Kara can see how broken Alex is, the body she sees now not really the image she's had of her sister all these years. But Kara doesn’t care, all she wants is for Alex to wake up, for her to cry into her shoulder for weeks, months or years when she hears about Maggie.

Most of all, Kara will admit she wants her sister. She still needs her.

“Alex...” Kara cries, Lena coming up behind her and placing a gentle hand against her back as she rocks back and forth brokenly.

“Please Alex, I can’t. Not yet, please. We'll be okay, I promise.” She swears, hoping her sister can still hear her. “I know you love her... I don’t want to ask you to choose. But I promise we’ll be okay.” Kara chokes out, pulling Alex up into her shoulder to hold her close.

And even though Kara still hears nothing, she has to say it again.

“Please Alex.” She pleads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apolo-gay-ze. It had to happen and you know it, forever doesn't happen until all of this is over so...  
> Please don't hate me btw, I'm working on the 'happy ending' as you read so trust me and hang in there, Sanvers is endgame I promise :)


	10. All Through the Night: Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, Sorry to anyone upset by the last chapter, please let me know if I need to change anything in terms of description or anything, I know this kind of thing isn't taken well and I'm sorry the story is having to go this way, hopefully this chapter will put some of the questions about them being togehter in the end to rest.  
> Second, I recommend listening to All through the night by sleeping at last, before reading this chapter because it is mentioned and I wanted to reclaim the song from the show a little bit, so give it a listen if you can.  
> This story has and will always be Sanvers Endgame x

It's warm. That's the first thing Alex realises when she wakes up. Although it doesn’t really feel like she was asleep, more just zoned out of it for a second.

But she finds herself in a strange place, familiar, but strange nonetheless.

The old hallway to her apartment surrounds her, the carpet and the walls not the ones she remembers putting in when Lena gave them the floor. No, this is a lot earlier than that, at least fifteen years old.

And in front of her is her apartment door, the old and heavy wood making Alex smile as she remembers it.

There’s music playing softly inside, a song Alex recognizes, something that’s echoed through her ears for years now... Maggie had shown her this song.

She remembers being sceptical about someone trying to cover Cyndi Lauper, but the slow version of ‘All through the night’ that lures her into the apartment makes Alex feel like she's coming home after being away for too long.

She reaches out for the handle, the lock giving way freely as she pushes it open and steps inside her old apartment. Looking around, Alex can see her bed beyond the steps in the living room, her old couch sort of messy with the pillows and blankets her and Maggie love to curl up with. It’s all just like she remembers it being all that time ago.

It makes her feel so grounded and safe, that a part of Alex isn’t surprised when a familiar voice sounds behind her.

“Hey Danvers.” Maggie says with a smile as she steps out from behind the door Alex left open and closes it gently.

Her hair is dark again, no grey in sight, even the fine lines on her cheeks from years of smiling that Alex is so used to aren't there. Maggie looks just like she did the day Alex met her, she's even got one of her old leather jackets wrapped over her arms and shoulders and Alex smiles at the sight.

“Hi.” She whispers back.

And Alex just feels so content, standing here and smiling with Maggie. But suddenly she feels a little off centre, her head losing focus even as Maggie steps forward to hold her upright. But it isn’t Maggie's voice Alex hears faintly.

“Alex...” Kara calls distantly, not much more than an echo across space.

“Kara?” Alex looks around, trying to find her sister without much luck. She starts panicking, her hands looking for a phone to call the DEO with.

And she's starting to look around the apartment when a sharp pain strikes her chest, the air ripping out of her lungs at the force as she stumbles into the kitchen island. She's gasping, panic setting in as she tries to figure out what’s going on, her hands going to cover her heart instinctively.

But Maggie is there, reaching out and holding her wrists so that she stops.

“You're okay, just breathe Al.” Maggie urges, her hands going to Alex's face to hold her steady.

After a few seconds it works, her lungs pushing in and out at Maggie’s direction.  
But Alex is still focused on her sister.

“I have to find Kara.” She explains, looking to her wife worriedly.

Maggie looks at her knowingly, hands still trying to hold Alex steady as she sways a little.

“She’s not here Al.” Maggie whispers, her eyes pleading for Alex to trust her and calm down.

And somewhere in the back of her mind Alex knows that Maggie is right, memories of this place, evolved and different flashing through Alex’s head. She isn’t where Kara is right now, she isn’t anywhere her mind connects with her being today.

And that just leaves her confused.

“Where are we?” Alex questions, looking to her wife hopefully for an answer.

Maggie just looks around, everything about her calm and relaxed, even as she turns back to Alex and speaks.

“I don’t know.” Maggie admits softly, the music still flowing around them gently, the lyrics coming back to Alex like she first heard them yesterday.

And Alex is about to ask more questions when she hears Kara again.

“Alex... please don’t... not again.” Her voice sounds softly.

It feels strange, like Alex is in a dream and she can hear Kara trying to wake her up.

“Maggie, what’s going on?” Alex questions, trying desperately to understand all of this.  
But Maggie just looks at her, a mix of sadness and love in her eyes that Alex hasn’t really seen before. It hurts seeing that, so does not knowing why it somehow feels warranted. And she doesn't really want to think about why.

So Alex doesn’t say anything when Maggie reaches for hands and starts pulling her into the middle of the living room.

“Dance with me." Maggie says softly, tugging Alex’s hands up onto her shoulders and letting them rest there so she can hold her waist.

“I don’t understand what’s happening." Alex whispers, a hint of fear sneaking into her voice.

Maggie must pick up on it though, because she leans up and kisses Alex gently.

“You told me that not everything is meant to be understood.” She argues lightly. “We have time, so please... dance with me?” Maggie breathes out, looking up at Alex with eyes that border on crying.

And Alex's heart shatters at that, because of course she’ll dance with Maggie, why would that ever be reason to be upset. But something inside urges Alex to be here right now, to focus on the girl in front of her. So she pulls her wife close, resting her forehead against Maggie’s as they sway to the old tune that Alex can't help singing along to.

“All through the night today, knowing we feel the same without saying.” She hums out quietly, Maggie resting her head on her shoulder to listen with a smile as Alex continues.

“We have no past, we won’t reach back, keep with me forward all through the night.” Alex sings, the next words already on her lips when Maggie mumbles against her neck softly.

“It's selfish because I get to feel this.” She says.

Alex pulls back a little, her hands drifting to Maggies jaw to hold her gaze steady.

“What do you mean?” She questions.

Maggie smiles up at her adoringly. “What I said earlier, about marrying you.” She recants.  
Alex tilts her head in question, the little smile Maggie gives her at the gesture making her cheeks feel warm.  
“You know I love everything you are, all of you, always.” Maggie assures quietly, everything about the way she says it telling Alex its the truth. “But being with you means I get to feel like this. So I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t selfish of me to be with you.”

“Maggie...” Alex starts, drifting off when she doesn't find the words she needs. But god Alex needs Maggie to know, more than anything Alex could ever offer her, she just needs her to know how she feels.

So Alex just finds herself pulling Maggie up, her hands threading into her wife’s hair as her lips land in a strong kiss. It’s everything Alex is trying to say is in this moment that she can’t find the words for, she just hopes Maggie understands it all.

“I'm yours.” Alex murmurs, pulling back a few inches to at least try and talk. “There's no such thing as being selfish or not deserving it. This is it, all there is to it. I'm just yours, okay?” She asks, urging Maggie to accept what she’s saying.

And Alex knows, all these years and she still understands that Maggie has trouble believing it.

So her heart leaps when Maggie nods back, her nose brushing against Alex’s softly with the motion.

“Okay Ally." Maggie whispers, the nickname bringing a smile to Alex's face as she spins them around slowly with the music drifting around them.

“Until it ends, there is no end.” Alex sings again softly, happy with the dimpled smile it earns from Maggie as she holds her wife a little tighter. “Keep with me forward all through the night, and once we start the meter clicks, and it goes running all through the night, until it ends there is no end...”

They stay swaying even as the music fades off, another slow song filling the air as they dance together quietly in their home.  
Until Alex hears it again.

“Alex...” Kara cries quietly. “Please Alex.. I can't.. not yet.”

She sounds so far away, the pain in her voice pulling at Alex’s heart in conflict.

“We'll be okay... I promise.” Kara swears brokenly. “I know you love her... I don’t want to ask you to choose.... But I promise we’ll be okay..”

And Alex thinks she finally knows where she is, what's happening. The despairing look and tears on Maggie’s face proving her right.

“We... I think we have to go.” Alex urges, trying to pull Maggie to the door, something telling her she has to go back out there.  
But Alex falters in her stride when her fingers slip and lose their grip on her wife’s when she doesn’t follow.

“Maggie?” Alex questions, rushing back to hold her wife’s hands and try to get her to move.

But all Maggie does is smile lovingly, the tears falling down over her cheeks getting heavier as she brings the back of Alex’s palms to her lips and kisses them gently.

“I can’t go with you Alex.” Maggie whispers sadly, even though she still tries to smile as she runs a hand over Alex’s cheek to push her hair back a little.

Alex shakes her head in confusion. “It's right there, we have t-"

Maggie cuts her off, pulling at her neck gently until Alex is kissing her.

She can taste the tears between their lips, feels Maggie’s heart racing against the palm she has resting against her chest. And something about it feels so different to all of the kisses her and Maggie have ever shared, like every moment and every unspoken ‘I love you' is being forced into it, trying against all odds to make it last.

Alex tries desperately to make it all last a while longer.  
Because that’s all she’s ever done in life, tried to make moments like this with Maggie last.

Life always seems to find a way to keep moving forward though, the late nights spent holding each other or the long days wasted on lying in bed. Alex always tries to make time with Maggie last.

And this kiss is no different, save for the desperation she can feel in her heart and the way it makes her feel like she's losing something soon. But eventually this too must end, Alex feeling her own tears start to fall as Kara calls out to her again and she has to pull away from Maggie to breathe.

“Please Alex...”

Alex sobs, letting herself fall into Maggie, her forehead resting against her wife's as she realises what she now faces. And she can’t... how does she do this?

“Why won’t you fight this?” Alex chokes out. “You could try, we can beat this, we'll find a way.”

Maggie’s hands shake a little against her jaw, so Alex reaches up to hold her wrists steady, like she usually does when Maggie kisses her.

“I can't Alex. You know I would give anything for this, for you.” Maggie says sadly, her breath landing softly on Alex lips as she speaks. “But it's not a fight, there's nothing to beat Al. It’s just this.” She reasons shakily.

“You don’t know that.” Alex says instinctively, even though she knows its a lie. Because she can feel it, like a truth she can't admit burning beneath the surface regardless of what she says. And there’s no winning this time, not in the way she wants.

“I do know. So do you.” Maggie presses brokenly, repeating the truth Alex is hearing in her head.

But this is Maggie. So Alex’s head never really wins out over her heart. And what her heart wants is more time, more than Alex knows she’s got.

“Please.” Alex begs, holding onto Maggie’s face tightly like if she lets go it will all be over.

And they’re both just crying, holding on and knowing that the time is ticking away. Alex can feel herself getting more and more grounded here, whatever is holding her to the place her sister is crying for her, getting weaker and weaker.

So when Maggie shakes her head softly, Alex knows it’s not really up to her wife to choose anything right now, its up to her. And it isn’t fair, having her heart pull in two directions like this, Alex thinking she would prefer it to split apart instead of letting it go either way. But when Maggie speaks again, Alex understands that she doesn’t really need to make a choice.

“You remember what we said?” Maggie says, nudging Alex’s head up to look her in the eyes.

And Alex knows what Maggie’s talking about, the memory of her promising Maggie she would wait playing in her head a little ironically. But she remembers that Maggie promised too, holding onto that memory like a vice, even as Maggie runs her hands over Alex's wrists gently, urging her to move back a little.

“This will be nothing against forever Alex.” She whispers.

And with those words, Alex can see everything her and Maggie are in this very moment, every smile, every laugh, every hug, every fight and every tear. Alex can see it all in the girl right in front of her, all the love they have between them. And she knows that she’ll see it all again.

“I'm scared.” Alex admits.

“I know, but it’s alright.” Maggie assures, wiping at Alex’s cheeks with her thumbs. “I'll be right here. You don't ever need to wonder where I am, because I'll always be by your side. I meant it when I said you were worth an eternity." She promises.

And all Alex can bring herself to do is pull Maggie into a bruising kiss, like she’s taking one last breath of air before going underwater.

But her heart unhinges slowly when she can feel Maggie shuffling them back towards the door, even as her hands shakily keep Alex close, until they don’t anymore and instead come up to her jaw.

Alex whimpers against Maggie’s lips when the former detective pushes them apart, her eyes sad at her own actions even as she tries to smile reassuringly.

“She needs you.” Maggie says, letting her hands fall down and squeeze Alex’s tightly.

“I love you.” Alex chokes out.

“I love you too.” Maggie echoes, her voice breaking a little as she lets Alex’s hands go and steps back from her.

The space between them feels unbearable, like every inch Alex is away from Maggie pulls her heart apart a little further.  
But Maggie nods towards the door, her hands coming up to wipe at her face.

“Its okay.” Maggie assures determinedly, tears still catching in her dimples slightly.

“I don’t know how to say goodbye.” Alex cries softly.

“So don't.” Maggie whispers. “This isn’t goodbye, it'll never be goodbye with you.” She reasons.

And Alex has always believed that there's a right and there’s wrong, in everything. And she knows what the right thing to do here is, but it’s never felt so hard to not make the wrong decision. So Alex finds herself needing to ask one more time, just to be sure this is the right thing to do, because her heart is restless as it beats in her chest.

“I... I'll see you?” Alex chokes out, resting her hand on the door handle and feeling the weight of what it means settle in her chest. And by now she’s given up on trying not to cry, letting her shoulders shake as her lungs fill haphazardly with air.

And she can see Maggie willing herself not to rush forward and hold her, the restraint just making the pain worse.

But when Maggie smiles, it gives Alex the strength she needs to pull the door open, muted light shining through where the hallway should be. She can feel it pulling her back slightly, like she's starting to wake up from a dream. She knows it's time to go.

And when Maggie finds the strength to answer, Alex knows that when she steps outside that this isn’t the end. Her and Maggie will always be exactly where they are supposed to be eventually, always together in the love they share, no matter how far apart they are. They will always find their way back to each other in the end.

“Yeah. I'll see you around Danvers.” Maggie promises with a warm smile.

And Alex believes her, always trusts Maggie with her heart. So she smiles back, looks over Maggie's face one last time and commits every detail she can to memory, her hair, her eyes, the dimples that frame her smile...

Then Alex let's herself go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't proof read so please let me know if there's mistakes, and I'm very sorry again.


	11. All Through the Night: Part Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, to anyone still reading, I'm so sorry if this is all shitty, this fic is a few chapters from being finished and then it can all be over and we can go onto some nicer stuff. Please, if you aren't comfortable with the processing of the last chapters, please be careful in reading this because Alex obviously has to go through it all. Sorry again.

Its dark, everything feels muted and numb. But Alex can hear voices, feels a hand holding onto her own a little tightly. 

She tries to open her eyes, the task proving to be more difficult than she thought it would be as she battles against her own body. But eventually light starts getting in, a groan escaping her lips at the splitting pain that shoots through her head at the intrusion.

“Alex?” Kara whispers.

“Kara...” Alex murmurs out in response, forcing her eyes to find her sisters above her.

“Thank Rao!” Kara cries out, wrapping an arm over Alex’s chest in a sort of hug as she tries to avoid all the cables and wires running in every direction.

But her sister pulls back after awhile, her gaze hanging low as she shuffles the chair she’s in closer to Alex’s bed so that she can lie her head against Alex’s hand on the mattress.

And everything is a little foggy, flashes of green traffic lights and Maggie laughing all jumbling together in Alex’s head. And the ache, something deep inside of Alex that the drugs can’t reach pulls her down into the hospital bed, her mind racing to connect with something her heart is trying to say.

But all she can pick up is Maggie, the sad look on her face burning in Alex’s memory as old song lyrics swim in her thoughts. And Alex can hear herself humming it in her head...

_Until it ends there is no end..._

Over and over, the words pulling out snippets of feelings and moments Alex is putting together in her minds eye.

And something inside of her can feel it, even as Alex tries to convince herself that it was all a bad dream... She can feel something missing.

“Maggie?” Alex asks brokenly.

Kara chokes, her tears falling onto Alex’s hand as she clings to it tightly.

“Alex...” Kara starts, her words interrupted as she sobs uncontrollably. “Sh- she.. Alex..”

And Alex feels heart trying to reach back over the distance between her and the girl she loves, the space too far for her to conquer in this moment. She knows what’s missing.

But she can remember things, not really sure if what she is thinking actually happened or if it was just a dream. Her heart says it was more, Alex choosing to believe right now that the fact that it’s still beating meaning what she remembers has to be true. And some part of that helps her hold on, just the tiniest bit.

“I know...” Alex cries softly, grateful when Kara shuffles up carefully onto the cramped gurney to hold her close.

But she's less grateful for the silence, the sound of their crying not enough to distract her from the weight that settles over her heart. And it’s only made worse when Alex finds herself reaching painfully for the bracelet on her arm, holding the inside edge down to turn it on.

And then, the silence really is too much, because she can't feel anything on her wrist, can’t hear Maggie’s heart beating in her ear when Kara pulls her gently into her chest as she sobs at the confirmation.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry Alex, I'm so sorry.” Kara cries out repeatedly.

The words do little to comfort the way Alex’s heart yearns for its other half, wishing that the arms that wrap around her felt softer, that the voice she hears telling her it will be okay sounded a little deeper.

But they can't be. So Alex just holds onto the small amount of relief Kara's embrace offers and for the first time in her life, just let’s herself breakdown completely.

She cries, for all the pain in her heart, for all the lost moments that she let slip by because she didn’t know any better than to take them for granted, she cries for everything she still wanted to do.

Those moments are the worst, the plans left undone spiralling through her head and demanding a reason as to why they never came to be. And all the things they have done...

Alex can’t stand the way her chest begs to stop breathing when she thinks about Maggie’s smile, the way her eyes shine a little brighter when she laughs...when she laughed.

She wonders is she did enough, if she should have done things differently at some point... if she had just chosen a different car, if she didn’t stop at the intersection...

“Wha-" Alex tries, her voice rough and broken from crying. “What happened?” She asks hopelessly.

She whimpers when Kara holds her a little tighter in response, her breath catching in Alex’s ears as her sister whispers back brokenly.

“The truck driver had a heart attack, he didn’t have any control and Maggie...” She cries, shuffling an arm away from Alex to wipe at her face as she continues. “She didn’t feel anything Alex, I promise it wasn't...it was so fast...” Kara trails off sadly, the way her body shakes at her own words just wrenching at Alex’s heart. “You couldn’t have done anything.”

Its too much and all Alex can bring herself to do is cry here in her sisters’ arms. She goes through it all, over and over, trying to find something, anything to figure out why. Why Maggie, why now, why like this... But she's too broken and too drugged up to focus on anything properly.

But she keeps trying, her head aching from the effort as the thoughts provide a bad distraction from the pain in her heart. For a while at least.

“I- I wan- want to see h-her.” Alex chokes out, trying to sit up from Kara’s embrace.

But the hero just holds tighter, pinning Alex to the bed painfully. Kara jerks back slightly at the gasp Alex let’s out when her ribs feel like they're collapsing into her lungs. Her arms still keep Alex from moving more than an a few inches though.

“You can't.” Kara whispers, her voice scared and panicked.

“I-" Alex tries again.

“No.” Kara says simply, pulling away from Alex a little so that she can hold her face.

“Please Alex, you don't... please don't do that to yourself. She isn't... you can’t see that. Please?” She practically begs.

And Alex knows that if Kara is keeping her from seeing Maggie then it must be bad. The thoughts of what it must apparently look like flashing in Alex’s mind and ripping her apart at the seams. But she knows nothing she comes up with will be as bad as whatever she sees if she goes to the morgue right now, because that image will be real. So Alex just sinks into the mattress under Kara’s weight and nods brokenly to let her sister know she won’t go.

And that’s how they stay.

Alex spends what must be hours just trying to find a way to breath, thinking and crying, wishing that she could just have more time, just one more day. Because surely that could make all the difference, it always seems like it would. But when it comes to life, there aren’t ever really any second chances.

So when the tears inevitably stop, when she’s left feeling heavy and numb from it all, Alex can't understand how the sun actually manages to rise and shine into the room. She can’t understand why she can feel it’s warmth against her skin like this morning is just the same as any other before it. She doesn’t understand how it’s all still going on when her entire world has been lost.

Because some part of her is still waiting for Maggie to walk through the door, to come rushing over and promise it’s all a mistake. The things Alex would do, what she would give for that to happen right now... but she knows it won't. Most of all, she knows the wait will be longer than today, longer than she’s ever wanted to wait for Maggie.

But she promised. And she knows Maggie only ever wants her to be happy. So even though Alex doesn’t know to do that without her, she knows she has to try. She needs to find a way to make it all something Maggie will be proud of.

It feels like she's asking herself to read a book in the dark, but Alex would do anything she could for Maggie. And this person, this girl Alex is right now, lying defeated and intent on giving up isn’t the girl she knows Maggie loves.

So Alex finds that when she digs deep enough, there is still something left inside. Because her and Maggie’s love is still right here, it’s the reason her heart is still beating, it’s the reason she’s grateful to have her sister lying here beside her... and it’s the reason she still feels hope when she looks past Kara and sees the rest of her family sitting on the floor outside in the hallway.

“Do you want them in here?” Kara asks quietly, picking up on where Alex has found herself staring.

“Yeah.” She nods, huddling closer to Kara.

Not even a few seconds pass before chairs all settle around her bed, hands reaching out to hold onto her arm, her shoulder, any part they can reach without hurting her. And even with Kara’s fingers running through her hair, Alex still feels unsteady, some piece of her accepting that she probably always will.

But she remembers something Maggie had told her long ago, the memory playing out in her head as if Maggie was right here reminding Alex herself.

 

_“How did you get through it?” Alex questions, resting an arm over Maggie's stomach as the detective pulls the blankets up over them._

_Maggie tilts her head. “Through what?”_

_And Alex isn’t exactly sure if she should be asking this. She doesn’t know if her and Maggie are at the point in their relationship where they can talk about these things, they’ve only been together going on four months. But Maggie has already trusted her with this, from her parents to old relationships, so Alex pushes her fear aside. She knows Maggie has to believe that she meant it when she said she was here to help her heal._

_“Losing your parents.” She whispers softly, kind of afraid that if she says it too loudly it will cause Maggie more pain._

_But the detective just sighs, sitting up slightly and turning to face Alex a little better._

_Alex can see Maggie thinking about what to say, her eyes roaming the room as she looks for the words._

_After a few moments Alex thinks she’s crossed a line and is about to tell her not to worry about it, but she’s relieved when Maggie's voice fills her ears softly instead._

_“I think it’s been proven that I haven’t really gotten through it.” Maggie admits. “I mean with all of this, me not... letting people in.”_

_“Its okay, you don’t hav-"_

_“I want to.” Maggie cuts her off gently. “With you, I... I'm gonna try.” She promises, letting her hand settle over the one Alex has on her stomach._

_And the agent can’t help but kiss Maggie’s shoulder gently, happy with the appreciative smile Maggie gives her as she takes a breath._

_“I don’t think anyone ever really gets over losing people they care about.” Maggie reasons after a while. “I know everyone says time is a healer, but it’s not like the past just goes away.”_

_“So how do you move on?” Alex questions hesitantly, not wanting to push too far._

_Maggie's eyes look over Alex’s face, like she's looking for the answer._

_“I think...” She starts, chewing at her lip as she contemplates something. “I think you get up, you accept that some things are just meant to be. And you might not ever get over it, but every day that you just... get out of bed, find something good in the day, you get a little stronger. Until one day it feels a little better, the next like you can actually get through.” Maggie explains quietly._

_“So it doesn’t get easier, you get stronger.” Alex echoes back as a summary, a little in awe of the woman in front of her._

_Because Alex has seen world’s created beneath microscopes, seen galaxies destroyed through telescopes. But never has she seen such strength and power such as that which Maggie holds inside._

_And she thinks that’s as amazing as it gets, until Maggie leans down and rests her forehead against her own._

_“And you find someone to help hold it all together.” Maggie whispers, her hand holding a little tighter to Alex’s as they smile gently at each other._

_And then Alex really knows that this is it. Everything her heart dreamed for and her head convinced her she could never be capable of. She's in love with the girl in front of her._

_Alex just hopes that the look in Maggie’s eyes before she leans down to kiss her means that she loves her too_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, again. Please let me know if theres any mistakes, I'm not really proofing or anything.


	12. All Through the Night: Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, please be careful when reading this and also again I'm really sorry for all the pain and some disappointment in where this story is at right now. Hope the writing itself works at least and please let me know if there's any mistakes x

It’s been almost a week now. Five days, thirteen hours and twenty seven minutes to be exact. Alex knows, she’s been counting.

Its the only way she can handle breathing, existing from one second to the next as the DEO doctors run their checks and Kara tries to help her plan Maggie’s... Alex can’t.

Five days, thirteen hours and twenty nine minutes.

“Alex?”

“Huh?” Alex hums, shaking herself out of her own head and looking to Kara. “Sorry I... sorry.”

“Its okay.” Kara assures softly. “You wanna talk about it yet?”

Alex pulls her knees up to her chest, trying to hide under the thin blankets they dug up in the med bay closet.

“No.” She mumbles out, looking away from the pained expression on Kara’s face.

She knows she’ll have to, eventually. But not now, not when she has to try and find the strength to get out of here and go to Maggie’s funeral. And all she can focus on is how these clothes scratch her skin, how the stitches in her stomach are begging to be tugged at.

Alex just doesn't want to do any of this, she wants to crawl into a box somewhere and pretend none of it ever happened. Because it feels like she's living in a world that contradicts itself at every turn. The sun keeps shining even as Alex feels her heart beating coldly in her chest, the world outside smiles and jokes, the sound of it all echoing up from the sidewalks below. But it all just sounds like a bunch of white noise.

And Maggie's words echo in her head, the sound still making Alex look around every now and then to find her. So when she inevitably doesn't, Alex wants to do anything but what Maggie asked her to do, which is keep going.

It's not something Alex is finding herself being all that good at. But she isn’t alone in figuring it out.

“I'm here.” Kara whispers, reaching out and holding Alex’s hand.

“I know.” Alex assures quietly, squeezing at her sisters hand to prove the point. “Someone to help hold it all together.” She mumbles to herself.

Kara tilts her head in question.

“It's just something Maggie told me once.” Alex clarifies, tearing up at saying her wife’s name out loud. It’s like it doesn’t sound quite the same anymore.

Five days, thirteen hours and thirty six minutes. Alex wonders what day, what hour and what minute this will all start to feel bearable. Because right now she still feels like she’s walking around in a broken body with a heart that’s not exactly in the best shape to try and fix any of it.

“Well I'm the strongest person on this Earth, on any Earth if that’s what you need from me.” Kara vows gently. “Don't be scared to give me the weight, okay? I know you think it's your job to protect me, but it's my job to protect you too.”

All Alex can do is nod, a few stray tears slipping down her cheeks before Kara shuffles forward on the bed to hold her tightly.

“I've got you Alex, I promise.” Kara whispers. “I've got you.”

They stay like that for a while, Alex at least thankful for the warmth Kara’s arms offer as she slowly pulls herself together. She’s got it mostly under control when a knock sounds from the med bay doors.

“Hey.” Lena greets quietly, her gaze moving over the sisters a little painfully.

“Hi.” Kara offers with a small but genuine smile.

And Alex can’t help but be grateful that the pair in front of her won’t have to go through what she is, not for a long time at least. She just hopes they know to make the most of it all.

“Its time.” Lena urges gently.

Alex nods, grabbing at Kara’s hand reassuringly when her sister gives her a questioning look.

“Okay.” Kara says, gathering Alex up by wrapping an arm around her waist to help her walk.

Lena follows behind them as they leave the med bay and Alex feels a little better knowing that at least if she falls she has two people to keep her standing.

Its only when they reach the top of the stairs, above the control room, that Alex stops.

Not much about the layout of the building has changed, most of the funds coming into the DEO going towards new tech and defence systems. So Alex is surprised to see all the consoles pushed to the side of the room, the centre area cleared of everything save all the agents and police officers the small space can hold. The men and women dressed in black and blue uniforms spilling out onto the balcony in an attempt to fit. Amongst them all Alex can even spot a few of the aliens they've befriended over the years, Brian hiding behind a big grey creature in the corner as he wipes at his face sadly.

“What's going on?” Alex questions quietly, holding onto the banister for support as Kara helps her down the stairs slowly.

“I don’t know.” Kara whispers.

“They wanted to say goodbye.” Lena informs softly.

And even though the silence is kind of freaking Alex out at the moment, in front of all these people she can’t help but put on a strong face and keep moving forward, concentrating on taking one step at a time until she’s reached the control room.

Winn, who is acting as Director in Alex’s place at the moment, shuffles his way forward from the crowd.  
His eyes are red and watery, his greying hair looking like it could use a comb more than anything else.

And Alex has never really been able to handle seeing Winn upset, so she pats Kara’s hand gently and steps cautiously out from her sisters arm.

“I'm sorry, you shouldn’t have t-" Winn tries, Alex cutting him off as she tugs him into as strong of a hug as she can manage right now.

“We're gonna be okay.” Alex whispers, trying desperately to force herself to believe the words she’s saying.

“It's not fair.” Winn cries into her shoulder, his hands grabbing a little painfully at the bruises on Alex’s back and ribs.

“I know.” Alex murmurs, the tears that escape onto her cheeks feeling hot and thick. “It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was never meant to...” Alex chokes, losing the words amidst all the emotions running through her chest.

And she pulls away, resting her hands on Winn’s shoulders to help hold her steady as she looks around the room.

Kara and Lena stand beside her, Jonn, James, even Sam and Lucy are huddled behind them, having flown in from their respective cities. And as she looks out into the control room, Alex can see all the agents and cops who are trying their best to stand up straight like they were trained.

Alex can’t help but shake her head at the audacity of that. They're here for Maggie, and yet they stand like that, for a woman who never once in her life followed those kinds of rules, always tried to find the fun and the mischief in the work they do. So all Alex does is look to the floor, motioning her hand towards everyone.

“Stop that.” She orders quietly.

“Ma’am?” An agent voices from in the middle of the crowd.

“This isn’t her.” Alex explains. “Maggie hated this kind of thing, she never lived her life trying to be like this, she...”

“Alex?” Kara questions worriedly when Alex trails off.

But Alex is a little stuck, trying to explain out loud how she knows Maggie felt about things. That is until she finds the words, Maggie having spoken to them to her a long time ago.

“Life is short. No matter how long you live, it's always too short.” Alex recants, wiping the tears from her eyes when she can’t help but smile at the memory of Maggie kissing her that night, when she brought over pizza and beer of all things. It helps gets the rest of the words out as she continues.

“But we should be who we are. And Maggie... She was never afraid to be that with any of us. So everyone go, take the rest of the day off and find something that makes you smile and say goodbye that way. She would want that, not this.” Alex reasons.

There’s a few looks shared around the room and Alex is about to say something about it when an agent steps forward. Alex vaguely remembers her, recalls the light hair and dark eyes. Maggie trained with her once Alex thinks, but her name doesn’t stick in Alex's head right now.

She recognizes the stiff stance the young agent takes up however, her posture posed for a salute. It’s what protocol calls for in these events, a sign of respect for those lost, so Alex is expecting for that to be the gesture.

But suddenly the girls demeanour changes, her shoulders slumping forward tiredly as she nods like she’s accepting Alex’s words.

And with that, Alex watches a little in awe as first one agent steps forward at the young girls insistence and grabs her hand, everyone soon following suit until the entire room is linked together, everyone holding onto each other.

There's no hesitation for cops to join with the DEO agents, no resistance for them to reach out for the aliens on the outskirts of the room. Everyone is together in trying to show some sense of what Maggie means to them.

What really makes Alex start to feel kind of overwhelmed though, is when Winn shuffles backwards and joins in, when her family steps out from behind her and reaches forward to hold hands with whoever they can reach.

And then Kara is there, holding out her hand as the other holds onto Lena's.

“El Mayarah.” Kara whispers.

Alex just ends up nodding, letting herself cry in front of everyone as she shuffles into Kara’s side and let’s her sister hold her. It's not the same as having Maggie's arms around her, having all these people her supporting her still doesn't make her feel as strong as Maggie can.

But for the first time since Alex lost her, she thinks it might just feel like enough. Not enough to ever replace Maggie, but enough for it not to kill Alex with every breath she takes.

So it’s that feeling that Alex tries to hold onto as everyone leaves, so many people wanting to hug her and hold her hands that they go numb after a while.

But each time she lets someone talk to her, feels someone hold her close, Alex feels like she’s getting a little bit of the love Maggie put out into the world back. So she keeps going, until the only people left are those who are coming with her to the funeral.

It's her family that Alex has by her side as they go to the roof and pile into a DEO ship, it’s her family that sits beside her as they fly out to the airport. And it's her family that surrounds her now, as she stands in front of the space pod that holds Maggie. Alex can't see her past the dark glass, Kara and Lena once again insisting she shouldn’t, but she knows Maggie is in there.

Ever since her wife had learnt about how kryptonians did this... well Maggie always loved the stars, so Alex was never going to be surprised when she found out this is what Maggie wanted.

But Alex never thought it would be this hard. She always tried to think about it logically, knowing that what makes a person isn’t really the body that they’re in. So she always thought this would be the easy part, at least as easy as any of this could actually be. But now, it feels like such a huge part of the girl Alex is losing. And she can’t keep herself from leaning against the tinted glass to try and be a little closer.

She watches for a while as the tears drip from her cheeks down the cold surface, wanting so badly to know how she needs to do this. She finds herself wondering how anyone could ever try and say there was an easy way to let go. Because anyone who ever held this much love in their heart and no longer had anyone to give it to, would surely never make such a wrong conclusion.

Because doing this, losing her... ironically Alex is lost as to how to do any of this without Maggie.

But Alex also knows that they were special, her heart aching for all the people who could never understand what they were lucky enough to have... what they **are** lucky enough to have.

“You know I can’t live without you.” Alex whispers, hoping Maggie is listening from wherever she is. “So I know you're probably standing right here telling me it's going to be okay.” She chokes out, smiling brokenly to herself as she pictures Maggie standing next to her right now. “And I made you a promise, and I swear I'm gonna try, keep trying, every day.”

Alex has to take a moment, grateful that everyone behind her understands and just let’s her breathe without rushing over to help.

And eventually she's able to stop the crying a little, her chest and back aching from the shaking, but she doesn’t care.

Looking around the airport, Alex smiles softly at all the memories here. From meeting Maggie, to marrying her and so many anniversaries. And the fact that Alex is able to smile at the thought is proof enough to her that Maggie isn’t gone, not really.

So she leans her forehead against the glass again, takes a deep breath and pulls back, putting a hand against the cold surface instead.

The machine turns on at her touch, whirring a little beneath her fingertips as she inputs the codes. And when she’s done, all that’s left is for Alex to let it go.

“You have me. All of me, always. I know I never told you all of the time, but you had my heart a long, long time ago Maggie. Even before we met, I was always meant for you.” Alex whispers, not fighting the calm that somehow settles in her chest, because somehow it feels like Maggie is the one causing it.

And all of the things Alex has been feeling, she can’t understand it all. But she understands that Maggie has never let her down, and she promised they would see each other again. So Alex chooses to trust in that, letting the fear slip away and let the love she refuses to let go take it’s rightful place in her heart.

And she pulls her hand away from the pod, stepping back a little as it starts to float and rise into the sky.

“I love you Mags.” Alex whispers out, watching the pod go higher and higher, until she can’t see anything beyond the clouds anymore.

And when the calm feeling in her chest doesn’t leave with it, Alex breathes a little shakily, closing her eyes and knowing that this isn’t the end for her and Maggie.

Because something like them... well there’s nothing that could ever really beat that.

One way or another, they're always going to make it, always going to find each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably gonna keep apologizing this entire thing, but I feel like this story is as much yours as it is my own and I hate it when it doesn't work out or hurts anyone's feelings. So I'm very sorry again if that's the case and please feel free to let me know what you're thinking because I'm busy trying to write the last chapters and I'm doing my best to try and acknowledge what everyone is saying in those sections (which will be posted soon). And a big thank you for reading anyways :)


	13. 21st Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for reference for anyone who hates doing the math like me, this is about a year on from the last chapter.

Alex has spent the last hour or so just sitting at the kitchen island, looking at her empty living room as she slowly makes her way through a glass of scotch. She wants it to be a bottle, but Alex knows Maggie wouldn’t want that, not today. But it’s tempting, because it’s too quiet, previous years seeing her spending this night surrounded with laughter and smiles. But today has been nothing like that. 

Granted she’s spent most of it avoiding everyone, calling in sick to work and assigning missions to Kara, Winn and James so that they don’t come looking for her. Hell, she even sabotaged one of Lena’s projects so that the CEO would be preoccupied. And as for Jonn, well he at least listened when Alex asked to be left alone this morning.

And it’s not that she’s trying to hurt herself, finding ways to hide beneath the inevitable pain this day brings with it. Alex just doesn’t know how she’s supposed to approach this. Because she is hurting, she's angry and she doesn’t want to take it out on anyone.

So she's just here, alone, twisting Maggie's wedding ring between her fingers.

“You didn’t tell me it was going to be so hard.” Alex mumbles.

By this point she’s beyond sure Maggie is hearing her, from wherever she is. The fact that the damn bonsai tree on the coffee table hasn't died under Alex’s care being all the proof the scientist needs. Granted talking to herself has definitely earned her a few strange looks over the months.

But Alex doesn't care. She’s so preoccupied trying to keep herself together, but it’s like a constant struggle with the way she’s feeling right now. It’s like the weight of the whole world is resting on her shoulders and she juts doesn’t have anything inside left to hold it up.

And days like this usually make Alex feel a little emotional... very emotional. Valentine’s day, birthdays, Christmas, they all overwhelmed her a little this last year. But today... Alex just isn't handling today at all. Because it’s the one day they’re supposed to share with each other, their day, together. And for the first time, Alex has never felt so alone on the happiest day of her life.

“I could use a little help here Mags.” Alex whispers to the dark apartment. “I don’t know what I'm supposed to do... god I miss you so much.” She cries softly, wiping at the few tears that escape before she gets a handle on herself.

She's not expecting an answer, isn’t listening for one really. So when there’s a knock at the door, Alex jumps a little and eyes it suspiciously.

She slides off the kitchen stool and quietly crosses over to the door, grabbing her gun from the entry table as she leans down to see through the spy hole.

And she just sighs and leans her head against the steel at the sight of Kara squinting back at her grumpily.

“I can hear you Alex.” The hero states a little impatiently. “Let me in.”

“I just wanna be alone Kara.” Alex grumbles out, dropping her gun a little haphazardly back on the entrance table.

“Let me in.” Kara states again, her tone not leaving Alex with much of a choice.

The door swings a little heavily in Alex’s hand as she tugs it open, her sister stepping through and glaring half heartedly.

“What?” Alex questions at her sisters look, pacing back to the kitchen and leaving Kara to close the door with a thud.

Kara stalks over to her and snatches away the whisky tumbler before Alex can finish the drink. “I know what you're doing.”

“It's one glass, I swear.” Alex starts, hand motioning to the mostly full bottle by the sink.

“I'm not talking about that.” Kara assures, the softness in her eyes telling Alex that the hero knows she wouldn't do that tonight. “I know you've been avoiding everyone.” She explains.

And that, well Alex won’t lie to Kara and she’s honestly too tired to make excuses.

“I thought it would be easier, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or anything.” Alex reasons quietly, slumping down into a stool like she’s been standing for hours.

Kara tilts her head in confusion, her eyes scanning Alex like she's trying to figure her out. “What do you mean, why would you hurt anyone's feelings?”

And it’s a fair question Alex supposes. But that doesn’t mean she knows how to answer. And with everything she’s feeling getting all mixed up right now, Alex just doesn’t want to lash out at anyone.

“I'm just feeling kind of off.” She offers half heartedly.

“Off?” Kara questions, clearly not happy with the short answers Alex is providing.

So even though she’s tried to avoid this all day, Alex relents and accepts that she’ll have to talk. At least Kara won’t judge and it might let some of the frustration building in her chest out.

“Angry.” Alex says quietly. “I feel angry and sad, kind of lost. I'm feeling things I'm not meant to feel today, I'm supposed to be happy and in love... she's supposed to be here.” She explains, not really bothering to look up at Kara for fear of seeing the sadness reflected in her sisters eyes. “But she's not. And I'm just this.”

Kara nods slightly in understanding, her hands bundling Alex’s up and squeezing softly. And honestly, Alex is expecting some words of hope, something only Kara could ever say to make it seem okay. But it’s not what she ends up getting.

“I can’t fix that.” Kara states quietly, shuffling herself onto a seat opposite Alex so that she can lean down and look her sister in the eyes. “There's nothing to fix Alex. These things you're feeling... I would change them if I could. But it would be wrong if you weren’t feeling like this today.”

“I thought you were here to make me feel better.” Alex attempts jokingly, even as the air catches in her throat as she tries not to cry.

“I want to.” Kara offers with a gentle smile, letting her hands wander to Alex’s face to brush her hair back a little. “But I think all I can do, is make sure you know you aren’t alone.”

Alex nods, leaning into the hand Kara rests against her cheek. “I know that. And I’m sorry. I don’t really want to do any of this by myself.” She murmurs softly.

Kara smiles, hopping off the stool and pulling Alex into a hug.

“Good.” She affirms. “Because I'm not the only one who wants to be here for you.”

The statement confuses Alex for a second, but before she can ask questions, her door swings open.

Lena and Winn stumble in carrying bags in both hands, Jonn and James doing their best to make sure the pair don't break anything as they try and get into the apartment.

“What...” Alex starts, looking between everyone as her family makes themselves comfortable in the living room.

“Nothing's changing, this has always been and will always be a family event.” Lena offers from the couch, waving the sisters over. “I got some of that vegan ice cream you won’t admit you like.” She says, throwing the small tub at Alex.

Kara shuffles over to sit on the couch, Winn quick to huddle up beside her and pass a spoon over to Alex when she slumps down next to him.

And Alex isn’t sure if it’s the familiar sense of family or the taste of Maggie’s favourite ice cream that does it, but she feels a little less angry. The easy conversation and soft laughter that bounces off the walls feels normal, feels safe.

The sadness is still there, but as the night goes on, games and movies filling the apartment, it starts to feel more like it used to. Having her family around gives Alex the support she thought she didn’t want tonight.

And it’s something she’s learnt over the years, but Alex has found that she often loves being proved wrong with these kinds of things.

So when everyone is bone tired, Winn and James snoring on the couch while Jonn and Lena shuffle to the guest room, Alex is grateful to lie in bed with Kara’s arm resting across her body protectively. And she can’t help looking back on how her night first seemed to be going, a sad glass and an empty home. But she knows that what was most important came through when she asked for it, when she needed it.

Love was here tonight, still will be tomorrow and the day after, and after and after.

So Alex smiles to herself softly, letting her eyes drift closed as sleep calls her in for the night.

“Thanks Mags.” Alex whispers into the dark, her heart fluttering a little at the warmth that spreads through her chest in response.

And when she dreams, she sees a bright smile and hears a warm laugh, not once feeling like it wasn’t actually happening.

Because after everything she’s seen and felt, especially over the last year, Alex knows that she doesn’t understand why or how, but Maggie is still here with her.

Maybe that means Alex isn’t so lost. After all, she knows where she has to be and where she will go. Which means they will just have to keep waiting for each other, until the time comes when they can be together again.

And Alex knows with all her heart, everything that she is, that the day will come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Few chapters still to go, sorry for the suckiness again, hopefully the writing itself is still okay though and please let me know if there's mistakes x


	14. 27th Anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so before you read this, just a reminder that Alex is around 60 years old, so please don't be too upset by this chapter, and it's a common and 'normal' thing a lot of us have/will experience in life. There's still chapters after this before the end with her and Maggie, so again please don't get too upset.

"Are you going to tell her?” Lena questions cautiously, her fingers steady as she pulls the IV line from Alex’s arm.

“Tell who what?” Alex mumbles, even though she knows full well what Lena is asking. But talking about this with the CEO, someone who hasn’t aged in practically decades isn’t really Alex’s idea of a fair conversation, even if Lena is trying her best to understand Alex’s choices.

“You know it'll hurt her if something happens and she doesn’t know about it.” Lena urges, rolling her eyes when Alex swats at her hands to stop her from helping the ex agent up off the gurney.

Alex scoffs and makes for her jacket on the work bench. “It? You can say the word, it's not like cancer goes away if you don’t. Neither does this.” She reasons as she motions over herself, looking away from her grey haired and fine wrinkled appearance in the reflection on the metallic table. She doesn’t feel like it’s been long enough in life for her to be this old... then again she didn’t think she'd ever even reach her late fifties, but apparently Alex's life doesn’t go to plan. Not the one she had at least.

“Alex...” Lena berates, clearly torn between knowing this is Alex’s decision and wanting to do everything to protect her wife’s feelings.

But this is Alex’s choice. And she isn’t ready to tell Kara just yet, not ready to face the reality of all of this. Not right now.

“I'll tell her, I promise.” Alex assures. “I just want to get a plan together about what we need to do and what happens from here.” She explains half heartedly, not exactly looking forward to any of that.

“Well I have trials and some test drugs I want to try now that we know it isn’t remission, and from the-" Lena starts, Alex cutting her off gently with a hand to her shoulder.

“We've been through all of this, and I'll look at it all again.” Alex offers honestly, because she never gives up a fight. And cancer is no different. However, today isn’t about fighting this, and Alex doesn’t want it to be.

“But right now I just wanna go home and have some ice cream and have a good anniversary.” Alex admits.

Lena eyes her a little sceptically, but sighs after a few seconds and nods her head.

“Okay.” She relents. “But you can’t be running around being an active agent anymore, you should have retired when we first found it months ago.” Lena states staunchly.

“Director is hardly ‘active’.” Alex attempts.

“With you, everything is active.” Lena retorts, motioning Alex out her lab doors and down the secure hallway to the elevator.

And Alex supposes its not a wrong thing to say, she still does end up in fights and on missions, even though she isn't the agent she once was. But she never thought about a time coming when she would have to stop doing that, not from essentially being old at least.

So she has to at least hear Lena out.

“I'll think about it.” Alex offers. “But then you have to give me a private lab and at least two years of funding.” She jokes, hitting the elevator button for the L-Corp lobby.

“You retire and I'll give you all the funding and lab space you want.” Lena states confidently.

“I'll hold you to that.” Alex assures with a smile.

The pair ride up to the lobby and Alex smiles at the security guards who all wave as they pass, heading out to Lena’s car which floats as it waits for them on the curb.

Alex is sort of glad the CEO's attention is focused on talking with the driver most of the way home, because she's stuck thinking about everything going on right now.

Its not so much that she doesn’t understand what’s happening to her, she knew months ago, it’s more the fact that none of this is what she expected. It’s not an explosion, not a bullet or an assassination. It’s just not how Alex thought it would go for her. And she isn’t really sure if she should feel weird or grateful about that fact.

And if she does retire, what then? Does she just watch from the side-lines as everyone else does her job, or does she try and carry on and inevitably do a worse job than someone younger?

So many questions are just streaming around in her head and Alex honestly doesn’t want to focus on any of it. Especially when they finally get back to her apartment and everyone is already waiting to get the night going.

“Hey!” Kara beams excitedly, tugging Lena and Alex into an awkward double hug, her cape catching awkwardly over the trio. “I got potstickers and ice cream, James and Winn are getting pizza and Jonn is stuck in Paris for a while.”

“Sorry what?” Alex questions, pulling back put of her sisters arms at the last bit.

“James and Winn are getting pizza... did you not want pizza?” the hero questions confusedly.

“Not about the pizza darling.” Lena says, shaking her head before kissing Kara on the cheek.

“Oh Jonn!” Kara nods bashfully. “Yeah he’s just helping Clark with his United Nations appearance for next week, but he'll fly out soon and hopefully be here tomorrow morning.” She explains.

“Oh okay.” Alex sighs out, glad that Jonn's whereabouts are the only mishap of the evening.

“Who's up for Mario Kart?” Winn questions excitedly, his excited eyes contrasting his grey hair in a bashful way that makes Alex smile and wrap an arm over his shoulders as Kara speeds off to change.

“I'm gonna crush you.” She threatens playfully.

“I'll beat you both!” Kara exclaims, striking a super pose in her sweat pants as Lena rolls her eyes and sits down with James who hands her a glass of wine.

“Don’t break anything.” Alex warns her sister.

“Yeah yeah I know.” Kara assures. “Lets do this.” She says, grabbing a controller in excitement.

And Alex just shakes her head and smiles, thankful that these are the people she always has with her to help make the days go by and actually feel like a life that’s worth something. Because moments like these, even on a day like this where Alex's heart is heavier than she can describe with Maggie not around, these people somehow make it possible to keep going.

. . . . . _Later that night ._ . . . .

“I'll see you a bit later.” Kara whispers to Lena as the CEO steps out the door.

“Just let me know when you're on your way.” Lena replies softly, leaning back inside to kiss Kara’s cheek and giving Alex a small wave.

“Drive safe.” Alex calls as Kara closes the door after her wife.

Kara kind of stands in the entryway for a moment and the gesture makes Alex feel on edge. But she doesn’t say anything, instead finding herself turning to the kitchen and starting to clear away plates and bags.

“I can do all this, you can go home Kar.” Alex assures.

The hero doesn’t say anything, just stands, watches Alex as she moves around the kitchen and the living room for a while.

And Alex knows she should stop, be still for a moment. But she can’t help feeling the urge to try and avoid whatever it is Kara is thinking right now. But her sister doesn’t leave her much choice when she finally speaks up.

“You know we need to talk.” She whispers nervously.

And Alex does stop then, puts the cups she’s holding down on the coffee table and sinks into the couch.

“Yeah I know.” She mumbles.

“Are we going to?” Kara entreats, shuffling over and sitting down when Alex nods and pats the cushions next to her.

“Did Lena tell you?” Alex questions, not to blame her, more just asking instinctively to try and buy time before having this conversation.

“No.” Kara offers. “ I um... when you hurt your ribs a few weeks back I x-rayed you before you ordered the doctors to let Lena handle everything. I guessed she knew from there, but she doesn’t know that I know. You asked her not to tell me?”

Alex nods, her eyes finding her lap as she tries to figure out what to say. But what is there to say?

“I wanted to tell you.” She eventually settles on. “I just... I couldn’t.”

“I'm not angry.” Kara assures. “I'm scared though.” She admits, tears threatening to start falling any second.

And that feeling, well Alex is kind of grateful she isn’t the only one.

“Me too.” She whispers. “But there’s plans and we know what we’re doing about it. It comes along with the age I'm at, but Lena says it doesn’t have to impact that much with the right treatments.” Alex explains, sounding like a research paper being read by a robot more than anything else.

“You're going to fight it?” Kara questions, seeming kind of surprised.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Alex reasons.  
And when Kara looks kind of embarrassed at the question, Alex nudges her arm gently to get her to open up.

“Why?” Alex asks again.

Kara shifts uncomfortably on the couch, not looking at Alex as her shoulders slump.

“Maggie.” She mumbles out.

It's not really the answer Alex is expecting. She doesn’t really understand until she thinks about it.

“Kara...” Alex starts, trying to find the words. But her sister gets there first.

“I know you miss her, I know all of this is hard, has been the hardest for you.” Kara whispers sadly, hands coming up to wipe at her cheeks roughly. “And if you didn’t want to fight anymore I would get that.”

“Kara-" Alex tries again.

“And I just don’t want you to make this decision because of me, you've made so many because you've had to be here for me and that isn’t fair, you deser-"

“Kara!” Alex says a little gruffly, halting her sister mid ramble.

The hero just folds in on herself like she's having to force the words she wants to say back down into her chest.

Alex sighs and takes a moment in the silence that spreads through the living room, getting her thoughts together so she can talk.

“I do miss her. All the time, I can’t even think of how to explain...” Alex starts, wiping at the tears that manage to escape down her cheeks. “But she's the first person who would be demanding that I fight this, I know that. So I'm not going to give up, okay?”

Kara nods half heartedly, not lifting her gaze from the cushions at Alex’s words.

“Kara, look at me.” Alex entreats, reaching out to hold her sisters hand tightly. It works and Alex gives the hero a thankful smile.

“I'm not ready to go just yet, maybe after I retire and I've taken over all of Lena’s labs, but not yet.” She assures, happy when the slight humour makes Kara smile a little. “I'm not going anywhere.”

Kara sniffles and shuffles forward to pull Alex into a hug, the embrace a little too tight but not enough that Alex will stop Kara from holding her.

“Okay.” The hero mumbles against Alex’s shoulder.

Alex runs a hand over Kara’s back to help her calm down a little, her sister eventually pulling back and wiping at her face to get rid of the tears that are drying on her skin. But after a second or two, a playful look emerges on the blondes face, her eyes narrowing at Alex suspiciously.

“Did you just say retire?” She questions.

Alex groans, dropping her head into her hands as Kara claps a hand over her mouth in excitement.

“You did!” She exclaims. “Are you really though, I mean you don’t have to but I do get a little more worried and I’m sure we could find somet-"

“Kara.” Alex interrupts her again. “I'm thinking about it, yes.”

“I thought you were going to die doing your job?” Kara recalls cautiously.

Its a fair point, but Alex hadn't really meant it like that. Her going out there back then was dangerous, going out there now is more like betting on bad odds, which only get worse with the more time that passes. It's no longer her putting her life on the line to get the job done, it’s putting other people at risk when they worry about her.

“So did I.” Alex admits. “It's complicated I guess.” She mumbles.

Kara nods, looking like she has way more questions than Alex really wants to answer.

“But that's tomorrow’s issue.” Alex resolves, wanting to divert attention form their current discussion, at least for now. “And right now you can either grab me some of Maggie’s ice cream and watch a movie, or you can go home and tell Lena that she now also owes me a plane if I retire.” Alex offers playfully.

Kara seems to weight the options in her head, nodding to herself.

“I'll get your ice cream.” She decides, hopping off the couch. “Lena already has a plane for you so...”

Alex just shakes her head and mumbles to herself. Maybe retirement wouldn’t be bad... and there’s tons of projects Lena is working on that Alex would love to get involved with.

“If you promise to call the legion and get another super to come and help you around the city, I'll retire.” Alex suddenly decides, Kara actually dropping the ice cream lid onto a cushion in her shock.

“Really?” She asks disbelievingly.

Alex nods, actually feeling pretty good about the solution. “We can look at it tomorrow.” She offers, picking the ice cream lid up off the couch and throwing the ruined cushion onto the floor.

Kara just smiles and drops the ice cream on the table, jumping onto the couch and pulling Alex into another hug. And she’s rambling something Alex can’t really understand but it sounds happy.

So Alex is comfortable to just sit there and let Kara’s arms hold her tightly, eventually pulling back so they can carry on with watching something.

And even though it’s not what Alex thought she'd be looking forward to, a change like this might be good.

Alex thinks on that for a while, rationalizing all the options she’s got to work with, but she ends up spotting Maggie’s bonsai on the windowsill, an ache going through her chest when she wishes this was all happening with her here.

Because Alex still wants that, wants to do boring retirement stuff with Maggie, go see Lena for her check ups and walk in the park.

She can’t help but wonder if shed been brave enough to make this decision earlier if things would be different right now. And even though she’s accepted over the years that she won't really get the chance to answer those questions, or never fill that part of herself that’s missing, Alex just hopes she’ll get it back one day.

But that doesn’t really make it any easier to do any of it. Which is something she knows can’t be changed. It’s just something she has to live with and fight through. And she will, because if Alex Danvers is anything, it’s just that, a fighter.

And she knows, with everything she is that the time will come when she won’t have to fight anymore, where she can be with Maggie again. But not yet. She’s still got some time to wait until then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I say, Alex is gonna fight the cancer so there's still some time before the end, really sorry if anyone doesn't like it though x


	15. Always by Your Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference, this is about ten years on from the last chapter. Obviously a big jump, but I wanted to move the story along so we can get to the end with all the fluffiness :)

“How was your day?” Kara asks with a smile as Lena and Alex trudge through the door.

And even though Alex is happy to see her sister, she wasn’t really expecting to see her.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Alex questions, shuffling over to the kitchen and pulling Kara into a hug.

“I called her when we were packing up remember?” Lena offers, her look urging Alex to think a little and remember that she did in fact call.

“Oh yeah, sorry.” Alex mumbles with a shake of her head.

Its been almost ten years since she first started these damn treatments and still they don’t do much to help her memory work all that well.

“It's okay.” Kara assures gently. “I’m just finishing up some pasta, wanna tell me how your experiment went?” She asks, clearly wanting to change the subject for Alex’s comfort.

But Alex doesn't mind, happy to just pull her beanie a little further down over her ears and slump into her couch.

“It was good.” She offers genuinely, carrying on when Lena shoots her a look.

“Okay very good.” Alex corrects. “I think we actually managed to find a combination that makes kryptonite pretty much a rock to you.”

Kara stops fiddling at the kitchen island, her eyes looking between Lena and Alex with a mix of emotions Alex can’t really decipher.

“You... how... what?” She rambles.

“Well to be fair, we’ve been trying to get it right for years now.” Lena explains. “But it’s looking like we're on the right track to actually making it work.”

“That’s amazing!” Kara exclaims excitedly, kissing Lena happily before speeding over and smothering Alex in a hug.

“It’s just a start.” Alex chuckles out into her sisters hair.

“Still amazing.” Kara resolves, pulling back with a bright smile. “We should celebrate! I'll be right back, we need more stuff.” She reasons, speeding out the door before Lena or Alex can say anything to stop her.

Alex just shakes her head, shuffles herself onto the couch and pulls Maggie’s old blanket over her legs, another side effect is being so damn cold all the time. It irritates Alex to no end.

“She’s right you know, it’s pretty amazing what you pulled off today.” Lena states as she balances on the couch arm.

“It’s a start.” Alex repeats, because there is still work to do until Kara really is as safe as possible.

But Lena apparently doesn’t agree, the CEO smacking Alex’s legs softly to get her to move up the couch a little so she can sit.

And she just sits there for a while, looking Alex over like she's trying to decide if she should talk or not. Eventually she does.

“You've spent a long time working to get here, why are you not happy about this?” Lena questions gently.

But it’s not so much that Alex isn’t happy. She’s relieved at what this means for Kara, obviously. But it’s kind of like reaching the end of a book she’s been dying to read, Alex doesn’t know where to go from here. She’s done what she’s spent her whole life trying to do.

“I have no idea what’s next.” Alex admits quietly. “I've always known, at least some part of what I would need to do tomorrow, or next week or whenever. But I'm almost seventy.” She says, laughing at how crazy that sounds to say. “And I don’t know what I have to do anymore.”

“There’s hundreds of projects you can join.” Lena offers. “You can exposition again if you want, the whole world is here Alex, you can do whatever you want.” She reasons.

And Alex understands what Lena is saying, hears the words and acknowledges them.

But she looks at her hands, the lines deep against her skin and shaking slightly from the cold. She can feel the air blowing in from the balcony hitting her head where her hair is missing, even through her beanie. And Alex isn’t really scared to admit she doesn’t want what Lena is offering. She only wants one thing.

“I don’t want to go anywhere, or do any more projects.” She explains in reference to what Lena just said.

“What do you want?” The CEO questions, apparently intent on making whatever comes out of Alex's mouth happen without hesitation.

But it’s not anything Lena can really give, more something she has to do.

“You love Kara?” Alex asks gently but seriously.

Lena looks kind of hurt by the question, but answers nonetheless.

“Of course I do.” She insists. “Why are yo-"

“You have a lot more time than I do.” Alex cuts in. “I don’t want anything else, I've had an amazing life, all things considered.” She reasons, looking back at it all.

“It’s not over yet.” Lena whispers quietly, reaching for Alex’s hand gently.

“I know.” Alex affirms. “But this...” She motions over herself matter of factly. “I'm tired and I just want to be sure, so that I can sleep without worrying.”

Lena shakes her head in confusion. “Sure about what?”

“Do you love Kara?” Alex repeats, hating the pain that once again flashes through Lena’s eyes.

But the CEO doesn’t rush to answer like before, just sits and looks to the ceiling as she thinks for a while.

“If there were a stronger word then I would prefer to use it.” Lena eventually settles on. “But inadequate as it is, yes I do. I love Kara more than anything I could ever come across in this universe.” She resolves, looking to Alex. But it’s not so much for approval of what she’s said, it’s more for Lena to prove it with the fire Alex sees burning behind her eyes.

And Alex recognizes that look, remembers someone else looking at her the same way. So she knows what Lena says is true.

“Look after my sister.” Alex entreats quietly. “That’s all I want.”

Lena nods, wipes at the few tears that roll down her cheeks.

“You don’t have to ask.” Lena assures. “But I promise I will.”

And Alex is grateful when the weight in her chest gets a little lighter, because she can believe that. At the end of the day, Kara will be okay.

So she sits with Lena happily, going over some tests the CEO wants to run tomorrow as they wait for Kara to come back, which only takes another few minutes as it turns out.

“I got cake, potstickers and some beer.” Kara beams excitedly, bounding over to the pair on the couch.

Lena eye’s the beer worriedly and Kara is quick to jump in.

“It’s non alcoholic.” The hero assures, giving Alex an apologetic look.

But Alex just laughs, grabbing one anyway as Kara starts piling food haphazardly onto a plate.

And she watches the way Lena smiles and just helps balance the whole mess instead of telling Kara to be reasonable, something about it making Alex feel secure and certain.

She doesn't really know what about, but it doesn’t really matter she supposes.

So she happily joins in, balancing as much chocolate cake onto a plate as she can manage and shuffling over so Kara can squeeze in between her and Lena.

“Cake eating contest?” Lena suddenly suggests from the end of the couch, her eyebrow raising in challenge.

And while Kara might look like Cupid just shot her in the butt, Alex feels a familiar competitive streak rise a little as she smirks back at the CEO.

“You're on.” Alex confirms, Kara looking between the two of them with a little shock before getting ready herself.

“Ready...” Lena starts. “And... go!”

 

. . . . . . _Later that night_ . . . . .

 

“My stomach is cramping so bad.” Kara whines as Alex helps her to the bed. “I used to be able to eat five times that ya know.” She grumbles out.

“Yeah, my grocery bills do know.” Alex retorts playfully.

She shoves Kara over into the pillows, grateful when the hero at least rolls onto one side of the bed. With Lena passed out on the couch in a pile of cake crumbs, Alex figures Kara must just be a little clingy tonight.

She can’t be bothered changing, so Alex just climbs under the blankets, deciding to shove one off seeing as Kara’s body heat will probably have the temperature warm enough in a few minutes.

It takes a couple seconds of shuffling around, but eventually Alex is comfortable and let’s her eyes start to close, looking forward to dreaming about Maggie, like she does most nights. But she's interrupted when Kara taps at her shoulder gently.

“Can we talk for a sec?” The hero whispers.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Alex asks, rolling over a little to face her sister.

“I um... I heard you and Lena earlier...” She mumbles shyly.

“Oh...” Alex is taken back a little. “I didn’t want to upset her or anything I just-"

“I know.” Kara interjects softly. “Its just... what you said, I don’t really want to know why you did...”

“But?” Alex urges when Kara fades off, looking like she’s thinking to herself.

The hero sniffs slightly, shifting in discomfort as she forces the words out.

“But you need to know that I'm okay, I know you let Maggie go for me the last time... and that wasn't fair.” She cries softly, pulling back a little when Alex tries to reach out and wipe the tears away.

The response hurts, Alex taking a heavy breath before she tries to speak.

“I never said that.” Alex entreats, trying to find a way to take away the anguish on her sisters face.

“You didn’t have to.” Kara whispers sadly.

And Alex doesn’t really know what to say to that, unable to stop the tears that end up falling to her pillow. She tries to find something, anything to explain the emotions and thoughts running around inside right now. But she doesn’t. So they end up just laying there for a while, both locked away in their heads with everything that’s been said.

But eventually Kara finds her voice again, the sound of it barely an echo in the dark room.

“Do you think it was the right thing?” She asks fearfully.

“What was?” Alex whispers across the pillows, pulling the blanket up to her chin seeing as Kara has moved away a little and is no longer keeping her warm.

“Staying... with me, and everyone else?” Kara clarifies, her eyes looking everywhere in the room except at Alex.

And Alex wants nothing more than to say anything she can to stop the tears on her sisters face. But if she's honest with herself, Alex has no idea what to say here. Because yes, looking at it all, she thinks being here has been worth something, and she wishes she had the means to try and explain to Kara just how lucky she feels to have done everything she has in her life. But at the same time, it would be a lie to say she hadn’t asked herself the very same question Kara now presents, over and over again. And that only really leaves her with one answer.

“I don’t know.” Alex offers brokenly. “But it's not that I regret being here, it's just... I don't know what to say here Kara.” She admits.

And Alex hopes for something more than the sad nod Kara gives her in response, but Alex is at least grateful when her sister shuffles close again and grabs her hand softly beneath the covers.

“I'm okay now.” Kara repeats quietly. “You don’t need to keep protecting me Alex. It’s okay if you um... it’s okay.” The hero reasons shakily. “Not that I'm trying to give you permission or something, I just want you to know and I-"

“Kara.” Alex pleads quietly, needing the hero to stop talking before her heart gives out at what she’s hearing.

“I'm sorry.” Kara chokes out, Alex instinctively pulling her sister in close when her tears start getting a mind of their own.

“It's fine.” Alex hushes, trying her best to hold Kara as the hero’s shoulders shake in her arms. “I think I understand, and I hear you, okay?”

Kara just nods against her shoulder, shuffling in as close as possible, not seeming to really care about not crying anymore. And Alex doesn’t much either, letting the tears roll down her face quietly and into Kara’s hair without bothering to stop it.

And she hasn’t felt such conflict in her heart for years now, not since that night with Maggie. But with Kara’s words still echoing in her head, Alex cant help but feel like her sister is right.

Because as much as she hates to admit it, she knows that at this point, it’s probably not going to be up to her anymore whether or not she can do much else. And she’s okay with that, which is a strange feeling to say the least. Alex is more used to feeling hopeless or angry if she can’t do anything to help Kara, which just isn’t the case here.

So Alex doesn’t question it all that much, deciding that she has no real option other than to trust what Kara is saying, and what Lena promised earlier.

“You know I will always find a way to be here for you.” Alex whispers after a while. “And Maggie told me something once, and I think I need to tell you now.”

Kara shuffles back a bit, looking a little embarrassed. So Alex just smiles softly to let her know she doesn’t have to be.

“You never have to wonder where I am Kara.” Alex assures quietly. “Because I'll always be by your side.”

“Promise?” Kara chokes out, obviously trying her best to calm down. It isn’t working all that well.

“I promise.” Alex offers, choking a little on the tears that are becoming too much to prevent.

Kara just ends up huddling back into her at the confirmation, both just crying, not really wanting to talk about this anymore. And eventually Alex can feel her eyes begging to close, the tiredness of the day catching up with her.

So with Kara’s arms keeping her warm and the assurance that they’re okay, Alex is content to let sleep pull her under.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I tried to sort through some of the Kara vs Maggie angst from earlier in this one, and hopefully it does a little to help in terms of that (obviously it isn't a 100% fix but still)


	16. Forever Will Never be Enough: Part One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About three years on from the last chapter :) (so Alex is early to mid seventies, how weird is that to imagine?)  
> Another big thank you to everyone for reading, not to mention all the kudos and comments (they give me life on an atomical level :D ) and I hope these last few chapters give you a few feels and that the writing itself works okay.  
> As always, let me know what you think and/or if there's anything I need to change :) x

“One more round.” Kara pouts, tugging at Lena’s sleeve.

The CEO is pretty much the only one with any energy left to play Mario Kart with Kara, but even she is looking like the hero has bested her.

“Kara darling, I promise we can have another go after the movie.” Lena assures, grabbing Kara’s hand and leading her over to the couch to sit beside Winn and James.

Both the men have taken to comparing each other’s canes, Winn proud of all the gadgets he’s managed to adapt onto the thing as James just nods and seems to note what he wants to do with his.

And Alex finds herself smiling at the scene, shuffling over with Maggie’s old blanket and curling up on the couch next to Kara to stay warm as Jonn sinks into his arm chair next to her.

She doesn’t really pay all that much attention to whatever movie projects up into the living room, more happy to focus on how Kara curls up into Lena, or how James and Winn both pretend they aren’t falling asleep every few minutes.

Something about it just makes Alex’s heart feel light, as if all the wear and tear it’s been through is all healed up and closed over. She feels happy. And as weird as it is to admit, Alex thinks it’s the first time since losing Maggie that she’s ever felt this way without having some sense of anger or guilt underneath.

And she doesn’t really know why that is exactly. Because even now, she feels as if her heart only beats half as much as it should without Maggie’s to echo a response. But it’s like all these years spent fighting through everyday, holding onto the promises Maggie made her, has made Alex realise just how amazing these people that sit with her now really are. Because they're the reason she is who she is, they’re reason she’s capable of having so much love in her heart despite all the pain and hate that surrounds them in this world.

Because that’s the real truth of it, there’s so much love in Alex's life, so much that she still can’t understand but is happy to accept. And almost all of it is here in front of her. Almost.

She spends most of the movie thinking on that, the small smile she can feel on her face matching the feeling in her chest even as her eyes start feeling a little heavy.

“Hey.” Kara suddenly bumps her shoulder. “We’re gonna watch another movie, any ideas?”

“No, I actually think I'm gonna head to bed.” Alex offers with a smile.

“Okay, well we'll keep it down.” Kara assures, hopping up to give Alex a quick hug.

Alex just laughs. “Don't worry, I'm pretty deaf.” She jokes.

Lena snorts to herself, obviously recalling all the times she’s had to repeat things to Alex in the lab, and Alex shoots her a playful glare.

Kara smiles at the exchange. “See you in the morning.” She says as Alex starts heading down the hall.

Alex just hums in response.

But she ends up stopping, barely having made it three feet out of the living room. And she just has the urge to say something before she carries on.

“Hey.” She calls back to everyone softly, the five of them looking to her at the request. “I love you guys.” Alex offers.

James and Winn both smile, Jonn giving her a bashful ‘you too' as Lena and Kara end up getting off the couch to give her another hug.

“I love you too Alex.” Kara whispers, pulling back a little to look over her sister slightly as Lena jumps back on the sofa. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just needed to say it." Alex assures with a soft smile. “Go watch your movie.” She urges, shoving the hero back to her wife playfully.

And she can’t help but hold onto the smile Kara gives her in her mind, something about it making Alex feel calm as she heads to bed.

She lets out a sigh of appreciation as she pulls the covers back and crawls beneath them, feeling the extra warmth cover her body like a shield against the cold.

And her eyes find the picture on the bedside table, the smiling faces of her whole family at Maggie’s fist game night looking back at her.

She used to wonder what she would do or feel if she knew just how important everyone in that picture would be to her, if she knew that Kara and Lena would become who they are together, if she knew how Winn and James would never really grow out of their mischievous ways, even if she knew Jonn would become such a rock to Alex through some of the toughest moments of her life.

And Maggie... if Alex knew about her, knew the fire she could start in her heart with just a single word, or the calm she could provide with the slightest touch. Alex still wonders what they could have been if things were different, if they’d met sooner, if they’d retired or if they were different people altogether.

But one thing Alex is never unsure about, the thing she finds and holds onto as sleep calls out to her, is the only thing she knows she truly understands in this world. She lets her heart calm in her chest, beating slow as she closes her eyes, with the knowledge that no matter what, she loves Maggie with everything that she is.

And if anything in her life has ever been proven beyond any doubt, it’s that love is the only thing that could ever see inside of her and see Alex for who she truly is, and believe she was enough.

Maggie is the only thing that could ever hold Alex’s heart and evoke no fear of letting it fall to pieces. Because Alex knows Maggie has given her heart to her in return, given everything she is to Alex and asked her to love it all unconditionally.

And Alex will always love Maggie... without failure, without hesitation and without question. And nothing, not time or space, hell or earth, not even the universe itself could ever change that. 

Through all of this, Alex knows she feels lost at times, like she's just walking around with the dirt beneath her feet. But her heart... well that had found it's place the moment Maggie walked into her life. Before that even. Because it's where the love Alex feels in her chest belongs, not here in this bed with her or out in the world she faces everyday. No, her heart is exactly where it's supposed to be, with Maggie. And Alex doesn't know where that is exactly, or how it can even be true. But she can feel it, with every small beat it echoes into her chest.

So Alex falls asleep knowing that she was always meant to be absolutely, completely and hopelessly in love with Maggie Sawyer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost at the end guys... hang in there.  
> Also just to let anyone reading as it gets posted, the very last chapter will most likely only go up next weekend, just because I want time to go over it and change it and do all that stuff so that it can be as good as possible, for obvious reasons. So I hope that's okay :)


	17. Forever Will Never be Enough: Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last one, for any Danvers sisters fans this is a bittersweet chapter so hopefully it does them justice :)  
> On another note, I understand this fic upsets people and that Alex living and Maggie dying and that combined with the Kara vs Maggie situation etc. Is something that isn't very well liked (And I did not foresee). I apologize again for this, but know that I hear the message loud and clear and unless you are extremely upset or something like the tags or warnings need to be looked at, please don't be mad at me. This is just a possibility and it was not my intention for the main focus of the story to be lost within all of the conflict the plot has caused. Again, I am very sorry.  
> Please let me know if there's anything that needs changing.

The warmth she feels is familiar, something about it pulling at Alex’s memory as she comes to. The hallway outside her bedroom stares back at her, all the pictures, hers and Maggie’s old bike helmets and bookstands.

And Alex doesn’t remember waking up, but she heads to the living room anyway thinking she’s just forgotten a piece of her day, as is usual since being on the treatments.

But as she shuffles sleepily past the mirror hanging on the wall, Alex halts at what she sees in her peripherals. 

And some part her is prepared for what she sees, but another, the part that ends up coming to the surface, isn’t expecting to see this. 

She laughs, running her fingers through her hair, over her face, the sight of herself this young hasn't been something Alex has seen outside of pictures for so long. But she knows now what’s happening. The realisation sobers her a little, her eyes turning to the living room as her heart turns to her family.

It takes a few seconds before Alex can actually find the strength to walk down the hall, her fingers running over pictures of game nights and weddings, each touch bringing the memory back like it happened yesterday. 

But soon Alex runs out of memories, her heart aching a little when she reaches the living room, the movie still playing quietly as she looks at the people who helped make this place a home. 

She chuckles a little at the way James and Winn have ended up sleeping on each other's shoulders, Winn's grey hair ruffling slightly every time James breathes out. And Jonn, who always sleeps how he stands, uniform and precise, still makes Alex smile when he mumbles in his sleep. 

But Alex can't help but cry a little when she shuffles over to the couch Lena and Kara are on. Her sister lies with her head in the CEO's lap, smiling contently at having her wife's arms keeping her close. 

Alex wipes at her cheeks, feeling her heart settle at the way Lena pulls Kara a little closer when the hero starts moving around a bit in her sleep. 

“You remember your promise.” Alex whispers quietly to the CEO. “And thank you for everything.” She offers sincerely, hoping Lena knows how much Alex appreciates the last few years.

But now Alex kneels down, her knees and back not making a single protest as she does so, something Alex isn't really used to these days.

Kara's hair is kind of messy, Lena's fingers obviously having been running through it.

And Alex really wants to reach out and move it back into place, but when she does, it's like her hand doesn't really connect. She feels the hurt start to rise up a little in her chest, but it stops when Kara suddenly does the gesture herself, as if she felt Alex trying and did it instead. 

And Alex doesn't take long to piece together all the times she's felt like the world was ending, just to have the calm feeling that only Maggie could give her, bring her back from the edge. 

So she thinks she understands now, the ache in her chest dulling as she smiles at Kara softly.

“I never thought having a sister would mean so much.” Alex admits quietly. “When you first got here... I really wish we could have been together from the beginning, that we could have grown up together, that I had shared what I do and encouraged you to be the hero you are today sooner. But I've gotten to be here for such an amazing journey with you, and that means more than I could ever explain.” She whispers. “But I know, one day I'll get the chance to try. And I know that some days it’s gonna to be a fight just to keep it together, but don’t give up and don’t give in. You're so much stronger than you know. I'm so proud of you.” Alex chokes out, taking a second to breath and look over Kara’s face before she finishes.

“You're gonna be okay.” She whispers.

Alex rests her hand against her sister's cheek, once again not really connecting but still feeling the warmth and smiling when Kara sighs in her sleep.

“I love you Kara.” Alex whispers, happy at the small smile that appears on the hero’s face.

It helps keep her together as she shuffles back onto her feet, looking again around this place and back to her sister. And there’s no conflict in Alex's heart, just the certainty that there’s nothing left to fight, that it’s just this...

And she knows that they'll find their way back together again, they always do.

So Alex finds herself drying her eyes, taking it all in and then looking to the door. She can feel the same urge to go through it as she did all that time ago, the walk over to it not tearing her apart inside this time though. All she feels is calm.

It's still hard to go, but Alex knows that time waits for no one, and she’s no exception. And her time here is done, she’s filled it as best she can, laughed and cried, fought and forgiven... She’s loved and been loved more than she ever thought possible. But now, it’s time to go.

And she's scared. But all things considered, Alex is ready for the rest of it, whatever and wherever that may be.

So she smiles back at her family, feels all the love fill her heart as she let’s her hand find the door handle.

Just one last look, one more whispered ‘I love you.’

And she pulls it open...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more to go, I know how much we all love waiting so... posting soon x


	18. Forever Will Never be Enough: Final Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so there's three options for this chapter... so pick a song and blare it with this scene for maximum feels :D  
> 1\. The original Sanvers song, 'Coming Home', because duh  
> 2\. 'Heaven is a Place on Earth', San Junipero style.  
> 3\. 'I Promise You.' By Judith Owen (The lyrics definitely helped write this so.)  
> A big thank you to everyone for reading, leaving kudos and commenting, these stories don't mean much unless we get to share them. So again, thanks for being here for this one. Hope you like it :) x

The National City skyline has always been something Alex likes to see, the sight of it on the horizon always giving her the feeling of coming home.

And she feels like that now, as she blinks away a familiar haze of light and sees the sun setting over the city. She knows where she is, the runway at the airport stretching out in front of her like it’s done so many times before.

It feels warm, Alex letting her eyes close happily, smiling as the sun shines over her skin. She’s missed a lot of things, missed the way her hair moves with the breeze and the way she can stretch her back and get some satisfaction from the movement. But the warmth, Alex has missed that terribly, the sensation of it against her cheeks right now making her sigh in pure comfort.

But her heart skips a beat when something she’s missed even more than all of it combined, calls out to it.

“You know this is still my crime scene.” Maggie's voice echoes softly across the tarmac.

Everything feels like it's happening in slow motion, Alex trying her best to breath as she turns around. A task that proves impossible when she sees Maggie standing there.

Because she’s wearing her leather jacket, hands in her pockets as she smiles at Alex like she’s keeping the world turning at the moment. But Alex's entire universe stops at the sight, her heart racing in her chest.

She’s dreamed of this moment, thought about it endlessly. But nothing compares to this, she never could have believed it would feel so easy, so right. And maybe it’s because as much as Alex adores Maggie, the ex agent's head, smart as it may be, could never really comprehend the woman that actually stands before Alex in this moment. Because she’s perfect, every breath, every move... Alex could never imagine Maggie the same way as she really is, spending years coming close but not quite reaching far enough. But Alex was never angry or upset by that, because from the moment she met Maggie, she knew nothing could ever beat the real thing.

And as she looks at her wife, the sun setting against her dark hair, Alex realises she's been standing here too long. This isn’t a dream she's avoiding waking up from, its not a hallucination from the wrong cancer treatment...

Alex finally realises that she can stop waiting now, the feeling that courses through her being practically indescribable at the fact.

So she finds herself smiling back at Maggie, striding forward to erase the short distance between them. And Alex barely gets close enough before her hands reach for Maggie’s jaw and pull her up into a kiss.

It’s probably a little messy, Alex hopelessly desperate to just be connected to Maggie more than actually concentrating on not running full tilt into her wife.

But still, everything about it feels like the memories Alex has held onto for so long, the way Maggie tastes, the way her hands hold gently at Alex’s elbows to keep her close, all of it. But the way her heart practically goes silent, like it’s no longer begging to be with its other half... the feeling at finally having Maggie here in her arms is so strong, that Alex couldn’t compare it to anything she remembers, even if she had a lifetime to try.

And hard as she tries to calm the beating in her chest, Alex keeps getting lost in the sensation of Maggie smiling against her lips, the gesture just making Alex cry at the relief it brings to her entire body. So when her fingers end up trailing to Maggie’s neck, the soft motion of her wife's heart fluttering under her touch, Alex has to pull back a little just to breathe, because she’s so overwhelmed by it all.

Years of living off the memory of how this all feels is making it hard to deal with the reality Alex is in right now, because she's aching from all the love in her veins. But it has to be the most amazing feeling in the world. So Alex just closes her eyes and let’s her forehead lean against Maggie’s as she takes it all in. It’s all just so much for one moment.

But Maggie is here, her hands holding Alex steady as everything feels like it shifts and falls into place around the pair, the entire world moulding to fit around them in this instant.

“I've been waiting for you.” Maggie whispers, her hands coming up to Alex’s face to make her open her eyes past the tears.

Alex smiles softly at that, finally allowing herself to actually look back into Maggie’s eyes, finding herself willing to drown in the shade of gold that reflects from them with the sun overhead.

“Well you know I hate to keep a lady waiting.” Alex jokes reminiscently, distracted a little by the feeling she gets as she runs her hands through Maggie’s hair.

But when Maggie laughs into the small space between them... that sound. Alex can’t help the way her entire world flips over in her chest, the urge to just pull Maggie in close and kiss her again proving stronger than anything else in this moment.

And with Maggie’s arms looped around her neck, Alex's arms just wrap around her waist to lift her wife up into her so they can be as close as possible. To be honest, Alex wouldn’t let go right now if the earth itself beneath her feet was trying to pull them apart. But after everything, she knows this is where they’re meant to be and that nothing will ever come between them again. This is it.

“There's so much I wanted to tell you, that I still want to tell you.” Alex whispers shakily as she tries to breath for a second, resting her head on Maggie’s shoulder.

They end up swaying a little on the spot, Alex unable to stop the tears that are now just falling freely at the way her heart echoes in time with Maggie’s as it beats alongside her own.

“I don’t know how to say it all, I need you to hear it but I can’t think right now and it’s... everything's just getting lost with all of this...” Alex attempts, pulling back and motioning between them softly.

Her point is proven when Maggie smiles at the ramble, her dimples making Alex’s senses spin on the spot for a second before Maggie grabs her hands and answers.

“So dance with me.” She whispers. “I know there's a lot... But we have time.” Maggie assures quietly.

And Alex can’t resist the familiar request, her heart pulling itself together enough to actually function and let her nod back at her wife as Maggie does her best to try and wipe away the tears on Alex’s cheeks. And eventually she calms down enough to point something out.

“There's no music.” Alex laughs out gently.

“I've got it.” Maggie whispers, taking Alex’s hands and resting them over her shoulders as a familiar song suddenly fills the air.

“How...” Alex questions as she lets herself move back and forth a little in time with Maggie.

“Remember what we said about understanding.” Maggie offers reminiscently. “Not a lot of this will ever really make sense. I've spent a while trying, but it doesn’t matter if you're here.” She reasons calmly.

And Alex is finding that the more she thinks about it, the more she doesn’t mind that fact. Because as long as Maggie is here with her too, she doesn’t need to understand. Love never did ask questions when it came to them, it just is.

Surrendering to not being able to figure something out has never felt like such a victory to Alex. But how could it not when she gets to let her hands wander to Maggie's face, her fingers tracing every line carefully as they dance in small circles in the very place it all began for them.

So Alex can’t help the need to kiss Maggie again, like she wishes she did from the first moment they met, actually having decided by this point that it's more necessary to have Maggie's lips against her own than breathing.

And the feeling in her heart begins just like it did at the start, the smallest of sparks that takes hold as Maggie kisses back, holding Alex tighter when a sigh catches a little in her throat.

All the wishes for time, all the hours spent asking for just one more night... Alex would do it all again, over and over, as long as this is what she gets in the end. As long as she gets to be here with Maggie, feeling her smile against her lips and hear her laugh when Alex chases after them when her wife pulls back a bit for air. Nothing could ever be enough to make Alex want otherwise.

When Maggie is holding her like this, when the look in her eyes holds more love than Alex remembers seeing before, when Maggie kisses her like she's never going to have to let go... something Alex lost so long ago, has finally come back to her. Her heart finally feels like it's beating fully, like it’s whole again.

“I was so scared.” Alex murmurs, stepping back a little just so she can see Maggie, a part of her wanting to make sure she's still here.

“It’s okay.” Maggie whispers, her eyes searching Alex’s face gently to try and find a way to stop her crying.

Alex shakes her head, trying her best to hold back the tears to try and explain. “I thought... there were times I thought I would never see you again, and I jus-" she tries, breathing shakily until she can force herself to continue. “I don’t know what I would have done if I wasn’t here right now... if you weren’t here.”

“Alex.” Maggie breathes out, seeming to decide that the only course of action to take at the admission, is to pull Alex into a crushing hug, her hand moving up and down her wife’s back as Alex just let’s all the years of missing these feelings out.

And there’s something liberating about just being able to let it all go, to just hold Maggie and know that she won’t have to let go again.

But eventually Maggie stops murmuring assurances against Alex’s hair, stops swaying back and forth and just stands still in the moment, everything quiet as she takes the chance to speak.

“You know, I never knew I could love anyone, not really.” Maggie admits quietly, Alex huddling into the space between her neck and shoulder to feel the muscles there work as her wife speaks.

Maggie kisses Alex's head gently at the gesture before continuing.

“And then this girl, she just walked right into my life. She didn't give me any choice in the matter really.” Maggie chuckles out bashfully, taking a few seconds to just hold Alex close until she’s ready to continue.

“And after years of never letting anyone in, never really needing or wanting to... she made me want to change that. And she was so beautiful to me. In a way where any flaw she had made me wish she could see the perfection underneath, and know that every scar her body held only made me proud of her strength.” Maggie whispers, letting her hand roam up and down Alex’s back soothingly. “I've never felt the urge to give everything to someone and not care if I got nothing back, not until her.” Maggie explains, her heartbeat steady against the palm Alex lifts to her chest when she stops for a moment to think.

“All I could ever ask for, is the opportunity to love her as much and as long as she will allow me to. And I do. I love her." Maggie whispers, taking Alex’s hand from her chest and nudging the ex agent's face away from her shoulder so she can look her wife in the eyes.

“I love you, Alex.” Maggie whispers, the tears brimming on her eyelashes prompting Alex to kiss at her cheeks to chase them away even as Maggie continues on with a small smile. “I would move hell and earth, heaven itself if needs be, just to be with you. So if you want me for one lifetime or a thousand, you have me. As long as you want, you will always have this.” She assures, copying Alex and motioning between them gently.

And it’s a reassurance Alex has been waiting for her entire life, not only the promise, but the reality that her and Maggie really get to have this. They get to have each other, they will always get to be here, get to have these moments. They get time.

So Alex just smiles in response, knowing Maggie understands what she’s feeling as she pulls her wife into a kiss, never really getting enough of tasting Maggie’s smile on her lips as they laugh softly, moving around a little in an attempt to keep dancing.

“I love you.” Alex murmurs against Maggie’s lips, not really able to bring herself to move back far enough to actually talk.

But Maggie doesn’t seem to mind, smiling at the mumbled words as she runs her thumbs over Alex’s cheeks gently.

“I love you too.” She whispers back, repeating herself happily. “And just so you know, some part of me knew I loved you, even before I met you too.”

“You heard that?” Alex questions softly, remembering that day she had to say goodbye and send Maggie’s pod into space.

“Yeah Danvers, I did.” Maggie smiles out, even though there are tears in her eyes threatening to spill out. “I told you I would be there, for everything, the good and the bad, all of it with you. I always have and always will.” She promises.

“Always is a long time.” Alex notes, nudging her nose against Maggie’s gently, holding her breath just so she can feel her wife’s landing softly against her face. “I want it all.” She whispers.

Maggie just tilts her head and smiles as she leans up to kiss Alex’s cheek. But her hands ending up having to hold Alex steady when her legs don’t really hold up against the weight of the small gesture, the tiny amount of contact feeling more impactful than a bullet right now.

“I guess we’ll have to finally see if forever can be enough.” Maggie offers quietly.

And Alex knows... Because nothing has changed, nothing ever will when it comes to them. Their love is untouchable, no amount of fear, doubt, anger or sadness could ever stand a chance against this. And there may not have been an easy way through, sometimes there never is, but they were never going to be anywhere but here. Together, for as long as the universe will allow.

And if the day comes when the universe decides it’s been long enough, well Alex knows the answer to that as well.

“Forever will never be enough.” She whispers to Maggie, holding her close as they dance across the tarmac, the sun setting over their home signalling nothing more than all the time in the world is waiting for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's all guys, it's been a long journey on this one, some good moments and some not so good ones, but hopefully it all came together in the end. Another massive thank you to everyone! It means a lot :)  
> As usual, let me know what you thought and if there's anything that needs fixing :D  
> There was a mention that it might be liked if I did something after this, like Alex figuring out how to be there for Kara like Maggie was for her, or something like that. Let me know if you'd like me to do something like that or if you wanna leave this where it is :)  
> Aaand, just to let ya guys know, on a separate note, I've got another decent in length fic that's almost ready to get posted (no death I swear) so keep an eye out ;)


	19. Bonus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is for anyone who wanted a little more of the afterlife section, plus a sort of look into how Maggie was there for Alex all those years.  
> But if you're happy with the last chapter, note that this isn't crucial to the main Sanvers plot, and its kinda short just so it doesn't take too much away from the main ending prior to this.  
> But anyways, for those who asked I hope I deliver and that you like this :)

“I don’t know how to do this.” Alex whispers.

Maggie breaks a little at the pain hiding in Alex's voice, shuffling across the bed and wrapping her into a hug.

“You don’t have to do it alone” Maggie assures quietly, brushing Alex’s hair back over the pillow as she pulls back a little.

“I can feel her.” Alex murmurs out softly. “It doesn’t feel good.”

Maggie had tried explaining this before, how she doesn’t know how, but all this time she could feel when Alex needed her, knew when she had to be there. And Maggie knows Alex hadn't really grasped what she meant by that, until this morning, when her family realised she wasn't there anymore.

“She just lost you, it's not easy.” Maggie reasons. “And it’s going to be difficult, for a long time Ally.”

“How did you do it? Feeling this?” Alex questions sadly, her hands searching for Maggie until their fingers intertwine and she can pull them close to her chests to rest over her heart.

“I don’t know. It helps to be there.” Maggie tries to explain, a little upset that she can’t help Alex understand.

“I can show you.” She finally offers. “You don’t have to go alone.”

Alex chews her lip for a moment, her eyes roaming Maggie’s face as she thinks.

“Okay.” Alex whispers.

“Okay?” Maggie questions, just to be sure.

Alex nods a little. “Just stay with me through it.” She mumbles quietly.

“Of course.” Maggie assures, leaning in to kiss Alex's forehead reassuringly. “You ready?”

“Yeah.” Alex offers, taking a deep breath as her hands shake a little in Maggie’s own.

“Just close your eyes.” Maggie instructs gently, stroking Alex’s hair back a little as she does as she’s asked. “Think about Kara, about our family, don’t be scared of the feeling in your chest.” She assures, making sure Alex doesn’t panic at the sensation Maggie knows she’ll be feeling. “Just concentrate on it, like a dream you're trying to go back to.”

Maggie closes her eyes as she senses Alex finding her way, the darkness surrounding her briefly before she can open her eyes again to see Alex clenching eyes shut in front of her.

But she did it, they're here, the airport surrounding them as the sun rises over the city, their family surrounding a space pod not far away as units of agents stretch out behind them, none appearing capable of holding a uniform layout as they cry amongst each other.

“You can open your eyes Ally” Maggie urges, reaching out to hold Alex’s hands reassuringly.

Alex seems intent on not seeing any of this though, her eyes remaining closed as her fingers shake. And Maggie can tell she’s scared, words swimming in her head at how she can help when Kara suddenly cries out.

The sound causes Alex to grip Maggie's hand a little painfully, her gaze forcing open to glance towards her sister who is being held up off the pavement by Lena as she sobs against the frame holding up Alex’s space pod.

Tears stream down Alex's face as she turns back to Maggie and huddles into her shoulder to be held.

“I ca-can't” she cries against Maggie, the former detective just stroking her hair gently until she calms down.

“I'm right here with you.” Maggie assures. “You can do this.”

Alex clearly still has doubt in her eyes, but she hangs onto Maggie’s every word and seems to believe in them more than she does herself right now.

“How?” She asks quietly.

Maggie takes her hand, walking them slowly over to where Jonn, James and Winn stand huddled together, their eyes red and arms wrapped tightly around each other.

But Maggie shuffles them past, urging Alex to kneel down to the pavement where Kara is sobbing in Lena’s arms, the CEO desperately trying to keep it together herself as her wife cries brokenly.

“Here.” Maggie motions, reaching out and placing a hand on Lena’s back, right where her heart should be.

Immediately the CEO seems to take a breath, her eyes looking around briefly before focusing back on Kara a little more calmly than before.

Alex watches Maggie’s actions, wiping tears from her face as she looks over Kara and does the same.

Maggie holds her breath as Alex’s hand rests on Kara’s chest, watching intently for any sign that she should help.

But after a few seconds, the hero’s sobs turn to soft whimpers, her fingers unclenching from Lena’s shirt and allowing her arms to wrap around her wife instead as she calms down a little.

“It’s going to be okay.” Alex whispers tearfully, letting her hand trail up to Kara’s face to rest against her cheek.

“Gon- be -kay” Kara mumbles out in Lena’s arms.

“It will.” Lena assures quietly.

Alex stifles a sob at the nod Kara offers her wife in response, Maggie shuffling over on her knees to pull Alex into a crushing hug.

“You did good Al.” Maggie murmurs into Alex’s hair. “She’s alright, shhh shhh, I got you, I got you.” She assures, instinctively rocking back and forth a little as Alex cries.

And they stay there, Alex calming as all the agents take turns laying a hand on her pod, as Jonn opens it to put a family picture inside and keeping the lid up for James and Winn to place her favourite alien gun in as well.

“Just in case.” Winn offers with a broken smile, huddling into James arms as Kara shuffles up onto her feet to lean against the pod.

Lena places a hand on the hero’s back, the other against the glass of Alex’s pod as she leans down to speak a little.

“I haven’t forgotten my promise.” The CEO assures tearfully. “Fly safe until we join you.”

Lena wipes at her face, checking that Kara is okay before giving the hero some room to be alone with her sister.

Alex shuffles onto her feet, Maggie helping her up until she can stand beside Kara and look at the tinted glass of the pod.

“Thank you.” Kara whispers. “You're the best sister I ever could have dreamed of. You made me who I am today, a girl who isn’t afraid to let love be my greatest strength. And it all started because I love you Alex.” She reasons, wiping at her face a bit to dry her cheeks. “I'm really glad you're here, I can’t do this without you. And give Maggie a hug for me.” Kara smiles out.

And Maggie can see the relief flood Alex's face at Kara’s confirmation, her hand reaching for her wife’s to hold her steady as Kara reaches out for the launch screen.

The machine whirs to life under the hero’s command, simply waiting for her to let it go.

“You taught me to believe in El Mayarah, not just understand it’s meaning. So I know you won't be far.” Kara whispers. “I love you Alex. And I'll see you again when we all come home.”

Kara pulls her hand back, stepping away from the pod as it starts to rise into the sky.

And Maggie feels her heart grow to fit all the love in this place as Alex pulls her forward a little so she can hold her sisters hand, her other remaining linked to Maggie’s own. And then Lena takes Kara’s free arm, her other hand joining with Jonn, who reaches out for Winn who pulls James into the row as well.

For the first time in a long while, Maggie can look to her side and see her entire family, here together.

And some part of her wishes she could tell them all, so that they could know what's waiting.

But having seen Alex live the rest of her life, having been there for the best and worst of moments. Maggie knows the only reason all of this has any meaning, is because of what she had to go through to get here.

Life was always designed to be filled with love and in the very same instant tear the hearts that hold it apart. Because it’s the knowledge and experience of having both that makes the end, that makes this moment right here, where Maggie can hold Alex in her arms and take her home, worth it.

And if this family's love can survive life itself, then nothing could ever really be stronger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you liked it or if there's any problems, or just feel free to suggest more fic ideas you'd like to see written and I'll try and make em happen :)  
> Also, a new multi chap. fic will start going up soon, so keep an eye out... :D

**Author's Note:**

> Sanvers Forever x


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